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Horseshoes And Salsa

Well, here we are. Another Monday is upon us, and with it comes yet another one of these messages from my brain-box sure to delight, amaze, and enlighten. Okay, probably not, but at the least it should give you a nice distraction for a few minutes.

I’ve got a few topics simmering away waiting to be presented soon but I checked on them a little while ago and they’re not quite ready yet. Still, a deadline’s a deadline, right? A commitment’s a commitment, a promise is a promise, and I promised you faithful MonDAVEs readers that I’d be back this week. So I needed a topic but quick. I have decided to turn to outside help.

This week I am using a “Blog Ideas Generator” from hubspot.com. The directions were quite simple. I was to enter up to five unique nouns and the generator would shoot me back a week of blog ideas. I knew all those hours of playing Mad Libs would pay off someday!!! Anyway, this process went about as well as you’d expect, with fairly predictable results. Still, it’s a fun experiment, so I’ll walk you through this experience by letting you know which nouns I entered, what the results were, and give a brief analysis of the same.

Five Random Nouns:
-Dogs
-Horseshoe
-Ballerina
-Salsa
-Flower

The results:

This week’s Top Stories About Flower
Well, it’s Winter here, so there probably aren’t many flower stories, but let me check. (Googles “Flower News”) Oh, well, yeah, okay, it’s almost Valentine’s day so there are a few articles about how people will spend stupid money on flowers next week (almost $26 billion all told) and how Miley Cyrus won a Grammy for her song called “Flowers”. Not bad for a slow news cycle I guess. Maybe we’ll check back in Spring.
Horseshoe Explained In Fewer Than 140 Characters
Oh, well, yeah, okay, um… here goes: “A horseshoe is a shoe for horses which we somehow turned into a game played at picnics which nobody understands except that one guy who’s really into it.” How’d I do?
Will horseshoe Ever Rule The World?
In what context? Like, do I think horseshoe will ever become the biggest game in the world? Nah, there’s not enough flash to the game, and corporate sponsorships would ruin the purity of the whole thing. But then, I do live within driving distance of the National Horseshoe Pitchers Hall Of Fame And Museum (true) so it must be a fairly popular game. I mean, bowling is televised and up for Olympic consideration, so who knows?
Or, wait, did I read this wrong? Is the question implying that there may be a horseshoe that becomes sentient and will lead a successful campaign for world domination? You know, there was a point when I would have said no, but nothing has surprised me since like 2019, so sure.
The Next Big Thing In Horseshoe
Why the hell is this generator so obsessed with horseshoe? Is this the best AI can do? Pretty pathetic if you ask me. Unless it knows something we don’t…which would lend support for the world domination thing…hmmm. Now I’m kinda freaked out. You know, horseshoes are supposed to be good luck. Well, for us humans anyway. I’m not sure how the horses feel about it. Look, can we move on to a different topic, please?
Salsa: Expectations Vs. Reality
Ooh, here we go. There are few better snacks than chips and salsa, and few worse things than getting a less than satisfactory salsa dip. I’m not sure about you, but I always expect the salsa to be nice and thick, with the onions and pepper and whatnot clearly identifiable on my chip. I can’t stand a thin salsa. I mean, I’ll eat it, obviously, but I won’t get a second bowl. Also, what’s up with the smooth, pulverized salsa you get at low end restaurants? It’s not thick or thin, but there are no recognizable bits, and there is always a little runny stuff left over. It’s weird.
Then there’s the heat factor. When I dip my chips into a salsa I expect lots of flavor, but not too much kick. A little is fine on the back end, but don’t burn my tongue unless you warn me first that it’s going to be a hot one. Then I can prepare with the right drink and some extra chips at the ready.
Plus, what’s the deal with all the fire roasted salsas I am encountering now? I don’t care for that. It tastes like somebody burned the salsa somehow. Again, warn me before I dig in. My favorite salsa variety is Peach Salsa (particularly Mrs. Renfro’s), but the fire roasted versions some brands use do it no favors.
Oh, I should emphasize that this section pertains only to the standard red salsa varieties. I never touch that green stuff. Y’all are on your own with that.

All right, there you have it, five blogs in one! Sort of. More like two with subsections. Anyway, that’s what I get for trusting a random generator I guess. Interesting that it completely ignored both “dogs” and “ballerina” as topics, since they would actually make pretty decent ideas. Still, I am a pet owner, and my daughter is very much into dance, so chances are these topics will come up at some point anyway.

Take care of yourselves. Back soon with more stuff.

P.S.-The horseshoe sandwich is also a delicacy (?) originating in Springfield, Illinois involving toasted bread, beef patties, french fries, and cheese sauce served open faced mostly to college students and people who are out way later than their normal bedtime.

P.P.S. Also…a horseshoe crab is a thing. Make your own joke, I don’t know. Just figured it belonged here somewhere.

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Winter Is Coming-And So Is The Food!

Winter is just about here, y’all. I know it doesn’t officially begin for a few weeks yet, but it will be here before you know it. Some areas of the country are already receiving snow. Here in St. Louis it is going to be unseasonably warm for the next week or so, but the bottom will fall out soon enough.

While I’m not a big fan of cold weather, there is one thing about the Winter months that I do truly enjoy: comfort food.

There’s nothing better on a cold winter’s day than to come home to a rich, hearty meal that both warms the bones and fills the belly. Though we may not technically need to start making these foods quite yet, it might be time to start thinking about the coming months and what we’re going to need to stock up on to make our favorite cold weather dishes.

The list that follows are my favorite cold weather comfort food meals. While I won’t be giving out any family recipes or anything (would you?), I will be discussing what makes each dish great. Hopefully you’ll agree with these classic choices. Maybe you’ve got a different spin on these dishes when you make them, or perhaps you just want to enjoy a classic meal. Either way, let’s get to reading and get to cooking!

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Tomato Soup
This is a simple, classic comfort food that satisfies both kids and adults. While I prefer just a plain, classic grilled cheese, there’s nothing saying you can’t spruce it up a little. Want to add some bacon? Ham? Avocado? Spinach? Chicken? Go nuts! It’s your sandwich, make what you want. You can also use any kind of cheese you wish to get different tastes. The tomato soup is a perfect balance to the cheesy goodness making this a can’t lose option that can be whipped up fairly quickly and is sure to bring a smile to the face of all who eat it.
Potato Chowder
There are many ways to make a chowder, and they are all delicious in their own right. In the Brink household we make ours with potatoes, corn, milk, bacon, sausage, and a few seasonings. Basic, sure, but oh, so filling and so, so good. We feed it to family who visit in the Winter months as an expression of our love. Again, there are multiple variations one could use, but as long as the basics are there, chowder is always a win.
Chili
I know, I know, this is a no-brainer, but a list such as this wouldn’t be complete without this old standby, now would it? The thing that makes chili an amazing choice to me is all the different ways it can be prepared. You can go from the traditional Texas chili to white chili, Southwestern style, and more. It can be third-degree-burn hot with all manner of peppers, or mild and semi sweet. Cheese on top? Sure. It’s all fair game.
The only question is, “to bean or not to bean?” At risk of offending some purists, I am a bean guy, though I have enjoyed chilis without them on several occasions. I know that this choice would disqualify me from most chili cook off contests, but then I haven’t entered any, so I guess I’m okay. Anyway, no matter how traditional or non-traditional your chili may be, it’s always awesome.
Macaroni And Cheese
I know what you’re thinking, but hear me out. Mac n’ Cheese is only a side if you a.) don’t make enough of it, and b.) eat another dish with it. There are plenty of ways to make your mac into a meal. My wife makes a really scrumptious ham, mac and cheese casserole. Oher ideas include adding buffalo chicken, vegetables like broccoli or spinach, tuna, bacon, breadcrumbs, or just plain hot dogs to give the kids a treat. I agree, it makes a fine side dish, but don’t sleep on Mac as a meal.
Beef Stew
So simple, and classic. Beef, broth, vegetables. Add a few seasonings and some tomato paste. Maybe a little stout beer poured in if you’ve got some Irish in you. That’s really all you need. Don’t forget to serve with some home made bread or biscuits to sop up the leftovers in the bottom of the pot. Man, I feel full just thinking about it!
Chicken And Dumplings
A true American staple, although many of us are divided as to what constitutes a “dumpling”. While dumplings are technically fried dough, there are generally two types of dumplings used for this dish, rolled and drop. Rolled dumplings are what I grew up with, and what I’d always had when ordering at restaurants. Rolled dumplings are kind of like noodles, with the dough being very pasta like.
Drop dumplings are dough that is formed into balls, usually using a spoon or scoop. They often sit on top of the dish, and when done correctly are light and airy, like a biscuit. This was the type of dumpling my wife grew up with. The first time she made Chicken and Dumplings for dinner was a learning experience for us both.
Whichever version you prefer, this is a classic American dish that is sure to satisfy on a cold winter’s evening.
Meatloaf
Some people don’t like meatloaf. I hear you. I do wonder, though, if maybe you haven’t had a good meatloaf? Most people who dislike it claim that the dish is too dry, or that it’s bland and tasteless. Well, good meatloaf is anything but. It should be well seasoned, and not overcooked. The sauce should be home made (not just ketchup) and drizzled lightly on the top. Honestly, though, if a meatloaf is done right the sauce isn’t absolutely necessary-it’s good, and a nice addition flavor-wise, but the sauce shouldn’t be overused. If the sauce is what tenderizes the meat, you’re in trouble. Having a good meatloaf vs. a bad one is kind of like comparing school cafeteria food to fine dining. That said, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but for my money a well prepared meatloaf is a meal I will always happily devour.
Y’all have no idea how hard it was not to make a Rocky Horror or Bat Out Of Hell joke just now.
Lasagna
I am not one for most pasta, especially in red sauce. Not my thing. Tomato sauce can give me heartburn, especially as I get older. One exception to this rule is pizza, and lasagna is the other. A good homemade lasagna can’t be beat. The cheese melting into the layers of pasta and meat is a wonderful thing. Once again though, we’re talking home made here, not from a box. Boxed, pre made lasagna will have me grabbing a bottle of TUMS by the end of the meal, and, besides, it just won’t taste very good. Home made, though? Superb.
Chicken Pot Pie
One way to settle, or maybe avoid the dumpling debate is to serve chicken pot pie. It’s more or less the same thing, only with vegetables, and is contained in a nice pie crust. Well, until you cut into it, then it kind of goes everywhere. It’s still a nice meal though, and a staple of many houses come Winter time.
Hot Cocoa/Hot Chocolate
Alright, so this isn’t a meal, it’s more of a treat. But, come on, can you imagine going all Winter without at least a few mugs? I can’t, nor do I want to. Some people are team “cocoa” and some “chocolate” when it comes to this yummy drink. I don’t notice much of a difference, really, taste-wise. One comes from a powder, and one from pellets. Whatever. Call it whatever you want, I’ll drink it. There are lots of variations on this drink too, from peppermint or other flavorings, to marshmallows floating inside, whipped cream on top, or what have you. The bottom line is that it’s a tasty treat that can and should be enjoyed by all ages all winter long.

Well then. I don’t know about you, but that’s made me hungry. Now that I’ve started thinking about my favorite cold weather comfort meals, I’m just about ready for Winter to be here. Well, almost.

Actually, no. I am SO not ready for freezing temperatures, ice, and snow. Maybe with a nice hot chocolate and some savory dinners though, I think I’ll make it through.

See you next week for more MonDAVEs.

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Nostalgia November Part 3: Restaurant Edition

Welcome back to Nostalgia November.

Thanksgiving is almost upon us. This coming ThursDAVE, err…sorry, Thursday, most Americans will sit down with family and friends for a feast of epic proportions. While many will have a home made meal, there are several who will prefer to go out to eat. This got me thinking about the restaurants and fast food joints of my youth that are no more.

So let’s go back in time, pull up a chair, place an order, and spend some time together in the fine eateries of yesteryear.

Rax
Remember Rax? Remember the theme song? “I’d rather Rax, rather Rax, rather Rax, wouldn’t you?” Eh, it sings better than it reads.

Anyway, for those who may not remember, Rax was a roast beef sandwich place that dared to take on Arby’s and Lion’s Choice. For a short period there in the 1980’s it actually seemed that they might do just that. Not only were there delicious sandwiches, Rax also featured burgers, baked potatoes, and endless salad bar, and a dessert bar. At one point, they even had a taco bar if memory serves.

The inside of the restaurants were a little bit upscale for fast food as well, with a solarium (fancy word for sunroom) featuring multiple potted plants to add atmosphere, along with wood elements in the dining rooms. The idea was to bring a little style and class(?) to the experience of dining at Rax.

Unfortunately all this experimentation wound up being too much for most consumers as the focus of the restaurants became less clear. This also brought about price increases, or at least the perception of them, and middle class families began to stay away. A last ditch marketing effort featuring the bizarre animated character “Mr. Delicious” pretty much helped seal the fate of the chain.

As I type this there are still a few locations open, less than ten at last count, which is a far cry from their peak of 504 locations in the 1980s.

I used to love Rax, and would eat there any chance I got. I always felt that their roast beef sandwiches were the best. If I ever stumble upon one of the few remaining locations I am definitely stopping in, but for now I will keep my memories of this favorite fast food place.

Burger Chef
Another fast food blast from the past is burger Chef. This was a burger chain that was quite popular in the 1970s, in fact being second only to McDonalds in number of locations by 1972. This was the year that Burger Chef introduced the “FunMeal”, the industry’s first meal aimed at kids. McDonald’s Happy Meals appeared in 1979. Burger Chef sued over this, but lost. This, along with expansion into Australia that bombed, was the beginning of the end for Burger Chef. The chain, owned at that point by General Foods, sold to Hardee’s in 1982, who began to switch many locations over to Hardee’s restaurants, or just close them down. By 1996 the chain was no more.

It’s a shame that such a popular chain should go down that way. I was a youngster when our local Burger Chef closed, but I remember their mascots, Burger Chef and Jeff, and eating there on multiple occasions. I used to love going, and I remember being kind of sad and missing it when they closed Burger Chef down. A Hardee’s did replace that location eventually, though I think that became a donut shop after a while. Anyway, I’d like the chance to go back and grab a Big Shef burger, or even the FunMeal (so I can keep up with the adventures of Burger Chef, Jeff, Fangburger, Burgerini and the gang, and get my toy-seriously how did they lose this lawsuit?) and I’m sure I am not the only one.

Bonanza/Ponderosa Steak House
These were buffet restaurants that featured a salad/desert/food bar, and individual entrees. They both made their claim on the steaks, which were passable, but the buffets were the main attraction. I’m a sucker for a good buffet, or even an average one, come to think of it, and it’s because of extended family dinners at these restaurants.

So at this point you’re probably expecting a compare and contrast section between the two, or at least an explanation for why I grouped them together. Well, the two are so similar that, other than appearance and décor, there’s nothing much to compare or contrast, so there goes that option. My grouping however, does have a legitimate reason.

Although two different companies initially, Bonanza and Ponderosa merged in 1988. So not only were they similar, they became basically the same entity, which is why you could have one of each in your town and nobody thought twice about it. Unlike the whole Hardee’s/Carl’s Jr. thing, these two names were allowed to live on simultaneously. After a decline in popularity for buffets in general, a total of less than 25 locations remain in the U.S.

Fun fact: Bonanza steak house was started by “Hoss Cartwright” himself, actor Don Blocker, who starred on the hit TV show Bonanza, which was set at Ponderosa Ranch. Sometimes things are just meant to be, I reckon.

Hot Sam
Dude.

Hot Sam was THE pretzel place in the mall. No trip to Jamestown Mall was complete for me without a stop at Hot Sam for hot, soft, Bavarian style pretzels. No offense to Auntie Anne, I’m sure she’s a lovely person, and she makes a good product, but Hot Sam was the best. They even had a cool little pretzel maker guy as their logo. The titular Sam, one would imagine.

Hot Sam was a mall staple throughout the U.S., eventually being acquired by Mrs. Fields foods in 1995 and merged it with another soft pretzel company they owned called Pretzel Time. Eagle eyed viewers of Stranger Things may notice a Hot Sam location recreated for the show’s scenes in the local mall. Notice it’s Hot Sam, not Pretzel Time that gets the shout out. As it should be.

Okay, I have to stop now. I could go on, but this is making me hungry and I keep snacking every time I get to a stopping point. Not good. I need some room in my belly for Thursday.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. See you next week for more MonDAVEs.

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Late Night Rabbit Holes

You know how it is. It’s getting late, but it’s not that late.

You’ve either streamed everything you currently find interesting, or you’re totally overwhelmed by too much choice. Reading seems like work. It’s a little too late to start playing music and wake up the rest of the house (who are quite sensibly sleeping at this hour). You could just go to bed, but you’re just not quite ready yet. Housework is out of the equation completely. So where do you turn?

YouTube. And you’ll stay there for hours. Apart from the standard dog/cat/cute kids/AFV-type rabbit hole, the possibilities are pretty much endless. We’ve all got our favorites, of course, but in case you’re looking for something new to check out, I’d like to share some of my go-to channels with you.

Okay, so these are actually all pretty well established, but chances are you may not be aware of all of these channels. If any are new to you, why not give them a chance? If you know them all, maybe check back in on your YouTuber friends. They probably miss you.

LOST IN THE POND
-Laurence Brown discusses the differences between American and British culture. Sometimes this pertains to linguistic differences, sometimes the differences in how we live our day to day lives, holidays, cultural (and pop cultural) differences, and more. Laurence is a native Briton, but has been living in America for years with his wife, and has recently become a full fledged citizen. Being a bit of an Anglophile myself, I very much enjoy this channel, both for the information and the humor. Or, humour. I read that last sentence in Laurence’s voice just now in my brain, and if you’ve ever heard him speak, you did too.

ASHLEIGH BURTON (AKA Millennial Movie Monday)
Ashleigh (or awkward Ashleigh as she is known on social media) is a Millennial who watches older movies for the first time, reacts to them and discusses her feelings about each film. The reactions are recorded live, but heavily edited due to copyright laws. I know some people don’t like reaction videos, but I do IF the subject is interesting, and IF the person(s) doing the reacting is likeable and fun to watch. This channel has plenty of both. Ashleigh is very much at home in front of the camera (sometimes a little too much-but in a fun way) and is very good at verbalizing her thought process and emotional reactions. She covers all sorts of movies from cult classics to blockbusters, and while I don’t watch any reactions to movies I have not seen myself, when I do watch I have a good time. Movie buffs, check this one out.

LOST IN VEGAS/ROB SQUAD REACTIONS
This is a two-fer, since the channels are both fairly similar. Both channels are run by African Americans reacting to a wide variety of music.

Lost In Vegas tends to be a bit more extreme in their musical choices, and have more of a “street” vibe (you have no idea how old I felt typing that). Thee guys also tend to break down the music a little bit more from a critical point of view, and can be a little harsh when they feel the need. Yet they virtually explode with delight when they find something they love and it is a joy to watch. George and Ryan are awesome.

Rob Squad is kind of the other side of the coin. Hosted by Jay and his wife Amber, these reactions tend to be a little more positive overall. While they do still break the songs down both musically and lyrically, much more credit is given to the vibe of the song and how it makes them feel. The goal here is to spread positivity through sharing musical experience and I am here for it. They also do some movie reviews, if you’d like to investigate those.

THE TRY CHANNEL
A rotating cast of Irish people try food and drink from around the world. It goes pretty much how you’d think. While I don’t always agree with their opinions on the American foods, the reactions are often hysterically funny. Watch enough of these videos and you’ll find your favorite TRY channel personalities (Dermot Ward and Justine Stafford are mine), and, maybe, some new foods to try yourself.

DAVE’S ARCHIVES
I’ve mentioned before how I like to watch old commercials at night before bed, partially for the nostalgia, but also because it helps clear my mind before bed and has a calming effect. Well, there are quite a few channels to choose form, but Dave’s Archives is the most expansive. It’s fun to see how many commercials in a given collection I remember, how many I don’t, and how many I had forgotten about until they come back to life on my screen. It’s also neat to see some big time actors before they were famous hocking burgers and soda. Thanks Dave, if that is your real name, for keeping the memories alive.

There are plenty more channels out there, of course, but this is a pretty good group of channels to keep you busy for a while. As for me, it’s late as I type this and I need to go to bed soon. Maybe jus a little YouTube before I drift off…

Not Loving This

Okay, so, McDonald’s, right? I have issues. Things have changed man, and I don’t mean the food.

McDonald’s used to be a lot different. It used to be fun, bright, and colorful. Along with the 1970s brown decor were splashes of red and yellow to brighten up the place. The color scheme changes slightly on the 80s but was still identifiably and unmistakably McDonalds.

Kids were rewarded with trips to McD’s for good grades, academic or athletic achievement, or even just good behavior. Every kid loved going to McDonald’s and getting their happy meal with the free toy inside, no matter how crappy the toy may be. We loved collecting those, and also begging our parents for an extra buck or so in order to get the collectible Garfield or Peanuts glasses.

Their advertising was great too. Like the restaurant itself, the ads were big and happy, bright and beautiful. Sometimes they told a nice story. Remember the one with the senior citizen going back to work? Or how about the commercial with the little girl’s recital? Heartwarming stuff to be sure.

There were more campaigns you’re sure to remember as well. “You Deserve A Break Today” was a big one. Remember which sandwich kept the “hot side hot and the cool side cool”? Sure you do. The McDLT. Remember when they started staying open for late nights and the Mac Tonight campaign had us all singing along?

Then, of course, there were the McDonald Land characters. Ronald McDonald took us to a fantasy world full of Fry Guys, little puppet McNuggets, Mayor McCheese and the Hamburglar, and, um, whatever it is that Grimace is supposed to be (someone once said a taste bud, but I have no idea how correct that is), and more. Some have called a few of these creations creepy in retrospect, but as young children, most of us loved the characters and their silly adventures as much as we loved going to the restaurant itself.

But that’s all changed now. Somewhere along the line, the vibrant colors all went away and were replaced with drab, boring shades of tan and beige. McDonald’s decor has gone from tesembling an excited child with a joyful future to that of a depressed middle-aged man who’s given up on the even the most remote possibility of fun. Which, of course, mirrors the fates of its core audience, but still. Next time you go inside, take a look around you and notice how drab and awful your surroundings have become.

The ads are just bad now, too. Dull, uninspired, and boring, it’s a shame what the once brilliant McDonald’s ad campaigns have become. They have officially “Ba dap ba ba bad” their way into irrelevance. I’m supposed to be loving this? I think not.

The last straw has to be this whole “Grimace Shake” fiasco. Problem one is the fact that nobody can seem to agree on what the purple concoction actually tastes like. Problem two is, although they brought our beloved Grimace back, they changes him into a three year old boy…er…thing, instead of the ageless, Dim-witted, but good hearted lump we all knew and loved.

Okay, so I was actually excited at first that they brought Grimace back. “If this takes off,” I thought to myself, “we might actually see the McDonald Land characters come back, and Mickey D’s become a happy place again. They a re actually fixing it!” My celebration, however, would be short-lived.

What happened next was not McDonalds’ fault, but instead that of the social media menace known as Tic Toc. Or was it Twitter? Doesn’t matter. Anyway, the “Grimace Shake Trend” started when some little punk with no respect posted a video wherein people who drank the Shake immediately died. Funny in an anarchic way I suppose, but then it became a “thing” and just about everybody with a cell phone started doing it too, all trying to outdo one another by making each video feature more “gore” in the guise of purple shake being strung everywhere.

So, as a result, the promotion has basically been ruined, and unless the McDonald’s people are willing to let their characters be perverted like that, the characters have virtually no chance of coming back. Thanks for wrecking it, Tic Toc, or Twitter, or whatever. Now instead if a bright, happy Mcfuture we have to go back to a drab, boring, no future, which may make for a great Sex Pistols song, but sucks for a Hamburger joint.

Look, McDonald’s is in no danger of folding anytime soon, I know. It’s still fast, convenient food that is tasty, and will satisfy when you want it too. It’s just that it used to be an almost magical thing and I feel like it could be again. But we are a long way off, and we’ve got a long way to go.

Thanks for indulging this rant. Let’s all grab a quarter pounder, or maybe some nuggets and fries, and meet up here next time for another edition of MonDaves.