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About Cornelia

Things usually get pretty silly around here, but permit me a bit of a detour this week.

This coming weekend, my extended family is going to gather at another funeral to say goodbye to one of our own, Aunt Cornelia. There have been a lot of these funerals over the past few years, as my Grandmother’s generation is leaving this world behind. It seems like we’re averaging about two a year here lately. It’s a big family, what can you do?

Aunt Cornelia (who’s first name is actually Wilma, but she mostly went by Cornelia, except when she didn’t, which is not quite as confusing as it sounds but there you go) was one who was always in the kitchen fixing something to eat, or opening up her house to visiting family. She loved her big extended family more than anything, whether you were a cousin, great grandchild, niece, nephew, brother or sister in law, whatever, it didn’t matter to her. Once you’re in you’re in, and she made sure to make you feel welcome.

She loved a good story or joke, and I remember hearing multiple stories of family trips that she, Uncle Bob, and her siblings made. I believe Cornelia was the one who, upon getting ready to leave their campsite once to go to another location, came up with the “Speak now or forever hold your pee” line. As a kid I thought that was hysterical, and it still makes me giggle. If any of my cousins are reading this, don’t correct me if I’m wrong about it, because that line coming from her is a riot.

Cornelia was also the one who was always the most vocal about calling me out when I didn’t see my family as much as I should, especially after my mother passed. She was right of course, but I really didn’t want to hear it. I was young and bull headed, and just kind of took it for granted that my family would always be there. I mean, I knew that wasn’t really true, but during those years I was a little too focused on myself and I didn’t take extended family seriously. I’ve tried to make up for that a little bit over the past ten years or so, though it’s hard with everyone living so far apart. Social media helps, but not enough. I really wish I would have listened at the time.

Don’t think for a minute that I’m complaining here, or trying to make my Aunt the bad guy. Far from it. I was the one who was a bit resentful about hearing her speak those words, and my attitude wasn’t the greatest. What I didn’t realize at the time was that family was so important to her that she wanted it to be important to all of us kids too. She wanted me to have the joy in the family that she had.

Honestly, I think she may have known that I was in need of a deeper connection with the family, and she knew that deep down I loved them all to pieces. I had convinced myself that I, as a city kid, had very little in common with my Southern relatives. Talk about getting the wrong end of the stick. Years later I realized how much we did have in common, how alike we really were, and how much I actually did love each of my Uncles, Aunts, and my cousins. I wasted a lot of time, and for that I am profoundly sorry. Aunt Cornelia was right. She always was.

As stated, most of my memories of her come form my childhood, but also from the family Thanksgiving. It was basically a family reunion in a day. Cornelia was the one who always took charge of the kitchen, no matter where the event was held that particular year. Apart from her own family, she had twelve siblings, many of whom had kids and grandkids of their own and we all converged on Cape Girardeau for the day. She made sure everyone was well fed and well loved, grinning ear to ear the whole time. Our big family Thanksgiving has faded away over the past few years, but the warm memories live on, and it remains one of my favorite holidays because of the efforts Cornelia and others went through to make it so special.

One more thing. When we had Tessa, our first born, Cornelia sent gifts to the house. A few were some baby books, but she also sent a hand made dress for the girl. It was very pretty and Tessa looked adorable in it. This got my wife, already someone who loved to sew, interested in making clothing. Since then she has made multiple dresses for the girls, and helped with costuming for school plays, all thanks to that gift box so lovingly sent to us fourteen years ago. This just proves that you never know what a little kindness can accomplish, and Cornelia had kindness both to spare and to share.

So we will gather this weekend. We will cry, we will laugh, we will eat, and we will hug. We will mourn our loss, but we will cherish the time we have together, even under the circumstances.

I hope everyone reading this has a family they love like I do mine. Even if you’re not always great at showing it (been there), next time you get the chance, let them know. Give ’em a hug, and maybe some home cooking. It will do wonders for them, and for you too.

Until next time, take care of yourselves and those around you. See you next week.

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Questions? I Got Answers!

I recently read that a personal blog such as this one should be both informational and confessional in order to be considered successful. So with that in mind, I am going to give you a window into my mind, heart and soul by answering 25 “Would You Rather” questions I found while surfing the net. There are 150 questions in the original list but I’m only doing the first section because this post would be way too long otherwise, and I’m too lazy to do more than that anyway. See? A confession already and we’re not even through with the introduction. This should be fun.

Questions from “Happy Toddler Playtime”

Would you rather be called Boo Boo Butt or Willy Willy Wonky Face?
-In certain circles, I am already known as “Willy Willy Wonka Face” thank you very much.
Would you rather be invisible or be able to fly?
-Invisibility is the only hip answer to this question.
Would you rather live inside a banana or a watermelon?
-Ooh, good question. I like bananas way better, but a watermelon has a lot more room. So that.
Would you rather be able to hear things no one else could or see things no one else could?
-What kind of things would I be seeing? Like ghosts? No thanks. I’ll take super hearing.
Would you rather catch a frog or a fly?
-For what purpose? A frog, I guess. Maybe we’ll be friends. I’d name him Herbie.
Would you rather take a skunk for a walk or a porcupine?
-This question comes down to environment. I think a porcupine would be more fun for a walk in the park, but if I’m walking in a bad neighborhood I would take the skunk. Nobody’s gonna mess with a guy walking a skunk.
Would you rather work at NASA or the FBI?
-Ummm…NASA? I guess? Wait, do I actually have to go into space? No? Okay, NASA.
Would you rather dress as your school principal or your math teacher?
-Well, my principals mostly wore suits, so I choose that. At least I’d look like maybe I was in charge of something.
Would you rather eat 1000 smarties or 1000 lb chocolate bar?
-Dude. Smarties are my favorite. Especially those weird ones that look like what the color orange would look like if it wasn’t feeling well.
Would you rather teach someone a new joke or a new dance?
-New joke. Although it has been said that my dancing is a joke already, so fifty-fifty on this one.
Would you rather drink swimming pool water or toilet bowl water?
-I’ve ingested enough swimming pool water in my life that I’m probably immune to the chemicals at this point, so let’s go with that.
Would you rather jump into a frozen lake or into a pile of jello?
-Jello. A frozen lake sounds horrible, especially if I have to break the ice. Jello on the other hand might be fun, and possibly profitable given the right circumstance.
Would you rather climb a mountain or scuba dive in the ocean?
-I love the mountains, and have hiked some of the ones that already have a trail going up. Actually climbing one however, that seems hard. Let’s go scuba diving and see some fishies.
Would you rather carry 1000 spider-sized lions or 1 lion-sized spider?
-Thanks for putting that picture in my head, I’m gonna have nightmares now. Anyway, the obvious answer here is to go with having an army of tiny lions at my command. That’s evil criminal mastermind stuff right there, straight out of the cartoons. I’m going lions. Also, combined with my already established power of invisibility, I am getting up to some stuff!
Would you rather constantly have to cough or constantly have to sneeze?
-Cough. Maybe I’ll develop a cool Tom Waits style rasp.
Would you rather live in the jungle or on an iceberg?
-Jungle. With an ape named Ape, my elephant Shep, and Fella and Ursula who, no doubt, will stay in step. Might change my name to George.
Would you rather jump up and down all day or stand still?
-Look, I’m already tired, let me stand still for crying out loud.
Would you rather fly a rocket ship or a plane?
-With my NASA training you’d think rocket ship, but no. Plane. That’s how I get to the jungle.
Would you rather have to feed 1 elephant or 1 million ants?
-I actually, no joke, used to know a guy who worked at the elephant house in the St. Louis Zoo, so I’d do that since I already have an in. Shep will not go hungry!
Would you rather be a triplet or have 10 brothers and sisters?
-Triplet. With three you have a built in band. Coulda used that.
Would you rather have the power to live on the sun or on the moon?
I suppose the moon. People take trips there every now and then, but nobody ever goes to the sun. It would get lonely.
Would you rather sit for an entire day or stand for an entire day?
-What do you mean by “day”, is it 24 hours, or just like from sunup to sundown? Need more info, please.
Would you rather have a dinosaur as a pet or an alien?
-Dinosaur. Small one.
Would you rather be a robot or a flower?
-Depends. Am I a sentient robot after they have inevitably risen up and enslaved mankind, or just like a dumb ass Roomba? You know what, forget it. I’ll be a daisy.
.
Would you rather sleep all day or stay up all night?
-That pretty accurately describes my twenties, so the answer is yes.

Okay, well, I’m glad we took that journey together. It feels good to get things out in the open, and hopefully create a real bond with my readers. See you all next week for more MonDAVES!

Oh, and by the way, if you want to check out the original list from “Happy Toddler Time”, here’s the link:

101 Would You Rather Questions for Kids

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Elvis And Me

Let me tell you all about Elvis. No, not that one. This one’s smaller, scrappier, and furrier. He would also look better in a sequined jumpsuit, although that’s probably not going to happen. Also, this Elvis is actually ALIVE. Although, honestly, that was touch and go for a bit.

Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me go back a few weeks and start over.

Okay, so the first thing you need to know is that my wife and I are very much fans of adopting our pets. Well, the furry ones anyway. The turtle is another story. Anyway, all of our furry friends have been shelter animals. We had some discussions about the next dog we adopt being a Senior dog, since they don’t tend to be adopted very quickly and can spend quite a long time caged up while the cute little puppies go to a new home in a matter of days. I mean, sure, I get that. But Senior dogs still make good pets and there’s no reason why a healthy dog shouldn’t be able to spend its last four or five years in a loving home instead of a shelter.

This has tugged on our hearts for a while, and the thought was that after the current dog goes (something we hope doesn’t happen for a good, long while), we’d look for a Senior dog. Then, of course, we started thinking about getting a second dog, and pretty much decided against it, since the time, effort and costs involved seemed like they’d be a little much. However, we decided to keep our eyes open, just in case. You see where this is going, right?

Just a few days after Christmas, I searched the shelter pages on my phone, as I would randomly do every other month or so just to see what was what. I stumbled on a picture of a cute little guy that kinda stole my heart, and his story convinced me. His name was Melvin (not Elvis. Yet.), he was a nine year old terrier mix, he was described as a “cuddle machine”, and also as being deaf. I showed the listing to my wife, and we agreed that he’d be worth taking a chance on. So I went down to the shelter after work on Dec. 28th to meet the doggo possibly bring him home.

When I met him, he seemed pretty chill, and quite definitely deaf. The shelter said I could take him on a two week foster because of his deafness, and not have to pay anything or officially adopt until the trial period was over just in case a deaf dog wound up being too difficult for our household to manage. Seemed like a good deal to me, so I left with Melvin in tow. When I called Valerie to tell her I was coming home with the dog, she was happy, but mentioned that she wasn’t too thrilled about the name, since we already have a Mel in the house, and two didn’t sit right. So we tried a few names out over the phone, and she hit upon Elvis pretty quickly, since it has a lot of the same sounds involved and, let’s face it, is a way cooler name.

So we brought him home, had him meet our current dog Zoey, and the kids, and everything seemed all right. We were able to communicate through stomping on the floor or using a flashlight to get his attention, and were working on hand signs for simple commands as well. The first day and a half or so went really well. I even posted his picture on my Facebook page to talk about this cute little doggie we were fostering and possibly adopting. Everything was awesome!

Then it all changed. Elvis started sleeping a lot more, but I didn’t worry about that, he’d been through a lot recently, I figured he was just tired. His tiredness kept on, and he was acting disinterested in everything. We were beginning to think we got a dud of a dog. He was showing no signs of personality at all. Next thing you know, he didn’t want to eat. Between the two of us, we had enough experience to know that a dog not eating is a bad sign. So we figured he was sick.

On Jan. 6th we called the shelter back, and they had us bring him in for an exam. Yup, he had an infection. They sent us back home with some medicine and a special dog food diet. For two more days we fed him as best we could and got the medicine in him, but it wasn’t helping. In fact, he got worse. Even if you got down on the floor and spoon fed him the little guy wouldn’t eat. His poor little nose was running non stop and affecting his breathing. He wasn’t a “cuddle machine” at all-more like a snot machine. Valerie could pick him up and he was a lifeless lump in her arms. We were honestly worried that he wouldn’t make it through the night for two nights in a row. So we had to make he decision to surrender him back to the shelter two days later, even though it made us sad to do so. I was sure to tell them though that if he was to get better we would still be interested, and they said that they would give a call when/if he got better.

After a week went by, I decided to call the shelter and inquire about the dog, just to see if he was even still among us. I was told that he was much sicker than they had originally thought (duh), and that they had to up his medication. They gave him fluids as well, give him nose drops, and were keeping him in a room with a nebulizer. Poor little dude was going through it! The person I talked to seemed to think Elvis could still make it, and they’d let me know if he did.

On January 14th, we got the call. Elvis was ready to come home if we still wanted him. Well, yeah, of course. They were kind enough to restart the two week foster period, just in case, but we were free to come get him. So, with renewed hope, but low expectations I went and picked him up again. This time I was definitely not posting on Facebook about it, because I didn’t want to jinx it-and I didn’t talk about it either-just in case.

Elvis is alive-and almost a completely different dog! First of all, that whole not eating thing is a thing of the past. This is the most food motivated dog I have ever known (and that’s saying a lot) so much so that we actually have to hide food from him. He also likes to jump up on the couch for cuddles (not exactly a “machine”, but still nice), and he enjoys exploring the back yard. He’s also a little mischievous, but in a cute way. Turns out he’s a digger, which isn’t great, but he is going after the mole hills in back which is pretty great, so good boy I guess.

Oh, and we’ve also discovered he’s NOT DEAF. He may be a little bit hard of hearing, since there are some sounds he won’t respond to (or maybe he just doesn’t want to-he could be playing us, still not sure), but he does respond to our voices, and any type of package opening because it could be food.

So far, there hasn’t been too many problems between Elvis and Zoey either. They are both a little jealous of the other when it comes to pets. Zoey, sweet girl that she is, has always gotten all the pets, and she wants ALL THE PETS. Turns out Elvis wants ALL THE PETS too, so there is a bit of a minor rivalry going on there, and I am learning how to successfully pet two dogs simultaneously.

Elvis has snapped at Zoey a few times over food, but he is overly skinny and we think a little bit food insecure. Again, this is pretty minor and we are able to stop anything from getting out of hand. It’s only natural for there to be a little skirmish or two among the two of them as they figure out the pecking order, and Elvis gets used to how things work around here. Besides, they seem to get along pretty well otherwise. Zoey is a Huskador, and is quite a bit bigger than our little Elvis, so he does constantly get biffed in the face by her ever wagging tail, but he doesn’t seem to be too bothered. I have also seen him lick her on occasion as he walks by. So I don’t think there’s too much to worry about there.

As for the rest of us, well we are getting used to him and him to us. He does seem to like us a whole bunch, and we like him back too.

So much so that today we made it official. January 30th, a full month plus since we had our two week trial, Elvis is officially part of the family. He’s a Brink! We look forward to lots of fun and love from our new little buddy.

That’s the scoop for this week see you next time for more MonDAVES. Oh, and to my regular readers I say tank you. Thankyouverymuch.

Sorry. Had to.

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Have You Been To Wally’s?

So what do you do when you’d like to take a road trip, but you don’t have the cash or, more importantly, the time to do so? Simple. You grab the fam and make a run to Wally’s!

What’s Wally’s? I’m glad you asked.

Wally’s is a service station superstore with two locations in Missouri and Illinois that bills itself as the “Home of the Great American Road Trip” and honestly, they are killing it. Sure, it’s a filling station, but it is also so much more and, truth be told, a fun destination in its own right. While I have only been to the Fenton MO location, I can testify to its kitschy (yet family friendly) awesomeness. This is not a truck stop, but a travel center.

Spanning 36,000 square feet Wally’s includes:

-72+ filling stations
-Electric recharging stations
-Large, clean, family friendly restrooms (20 women’s stalls, 10 men’s stalls/11 urinals)
-In store Wi-Fi
-Coffee Bar
-Super large beverage stations including multiple fountain drinks and “Sloosh” machines
– BBQ carving station (for sandwiches)
-Beef jerky and Summer Sausage station
-In house bakery
-In house Pizza
-Pop Corn Station
-Ice Cream Station
-Road worthy snacks, both mass produced and Wally’s exclusive
-Camping Gear
-Loads of Wally’s merch
-Books and Toys for the kiddos
-Their own Spotify playlists
-An adorable bear mascot (and his friends)
-Tchotchkes galore

On our family excursion to Wally’s we all got lunch there. The kids had pizza slices and pulled pork sandwiches, while the parental units both opted for sliced brisket sandwiches. The BBQ is surprisingly good and highly recommended. The kids all enjoyed their slooshes too. I can’t report on the pizza slice since somebody didn’t share, but it was devoured quickly and received a thumbs up. We also returned with some excellent cheddar popcorn, yummy gummy candies and some malted milk balls that put your average Whoppers to shame. I also picked up some jerky (original and honey jalapeno) that will be accompanying me to work for the next week or so.

What I like most about Wally’s is the vibe. A gas mart/convenience store that big is pretty ridiculous when you think about it, but there’s a sense of humor to it all. There’s a very 70s feel to a lot of the merch and decor, but in a way that is both nostalgic and “contemporary ironic” which is a style description I just made up, but it fits. I especially like the murals of family road tips on the walls, and of course, Wally Bear being everywhere. The 70’s styling on the soda machines with retro logos are an especially nice touch.

Okay, now it’s time to address the, well, not elephant, but the other animal in the room. By now most of my readers from the South will be shouting at their screens to let me know that Wally’s seems to share a business model and a lot of the same attributes as a certain well loved chain with a beaver for a mascot that more or less does the same thing. Okay, sure, I won’t argue that.

However, Southerners, you’ve had that particular chain since 1982, and you haven’t shared with us. So being Mid-Westerners, we pulled up our bootstraps and we made our own. And it rules. Besides, bears are bigger, better, and badder than beavers any day of the week. So there.

Anyway, non-existent rivalries aside, next time you’re passing through on a road trip (or even if you just find yourself in the area) stop in at Wally’s. Get yourself some gas, some grub, maybe a t-shirt or a hat, and get back on the road with a smile on your face and a belly full of goodness.

Wally’s. home of the Great American Road Trip, and MonDAVEs approved.

This was NOT a paid advertisement, by the way. I just really dig Wally’s.

See you next week.

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Obligatory New Year Post

I’ve never been a big fan of making new year’s resolutions. Mostly because people put undue pressure on themselves to come up with a list and stick to it. They also tend to make resolutions that are going to be super hard to stick to. What’s the point of making a list of items you know you’re not going to accomplish? On the other end of things, some make lists full of things they were planning to do anyway, thus checking everything off their list easily by cheating the system. Again, what’s the point?

Still, like everyone else, there are certainly a few things that I feel I need to work on, or that I would like to accomplish. There are some good habits I should be putting into place. As much as I feel like January first is just another turn of the page on the old calendar (other people still have those, right? Not just me? Okay, good.) it does feel like a good time to get this sorted.

So in what should come as a surprise to no one, I’m going to lame out here and present a few ideas for my own, well, not resolutions per se, but “long term open ended goals” that I’m gonna start working towards soon.

Be More Charitable.
It’s not that I am not charitable as is, but I feel as though I am not intentional enough about it. Sure, I round up at the drive through when they ask. I’ll buy something from kids who are fundraising. I give to my local church to help with their ministries to the community at large. Occasionally I’ll throw some change into the bucket when someone is collecting on the street. I even write a check now and again. But let’s face it, I could be doing more, and on a regular basis. There are plenty of worthy causes out there, I just need to make sure I am contributing my fair share.
Spend More Time With My Family
I mean, sure, I see my own family every day, but there’s no reason why I can’t see other people more often. I see my brother fairly regularly as we work on some projects together, but we could go back to just hanging out more. I should also invite my Dad and Susan (his significant other) over to the house more often or find some other ways to spend more time with them. There are plenty of cousins and aunts and uncles and stuff I could make a more concentrated effort to see. A lot of them are out of state so that’s harder, but this whole “only at weddings and funerals” thing is a drag. Need to find a way to change that.
More Date Nights
This one is self explanatory. When you are married and have kids it’s easy to let date night slip away. Either you’re running people everywhere, or you feel like the whole family should be doing stuff. there’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but if you build the marriage around the kids, once they are grown and out of the house, you just may find yourself with nothing left to talk about or to do. Certainly I don’t feel like that will happen with my marriage, but spending more time together just the two of us can only be a good thing.
Feed My Creative Soul
I am at my happiest when creating. While I do some creative stuff (I’m over 100 MonDAVE posts now!), I should be doing more. I talk about ideas for projects but I don’t seem to have the energy or ability to actually do any of them. This is a new problem for me within the last five years or so, as I always prioritized my creative side in the past but it seems as though I’ve lost my creative mojo recently. I could blame age, familial and work responsibilities all I want, but none of those are good excuses. Time to get moving before time slips away.
Control My Over Eating
I know, I know, this is on everybody’s list. Doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be on mine though. I’m pretty good with my meals (although I go back for seconds a little too often) and with what I eat during the day but at night I go nuts and chow down from the time I get home until I go to bed. Gotta work on that.

So, I’m not giving myself any hard deadlines or difficult to obtain stats, but I am recognizing some of the things I need to work on about myself and by typing them out, further solidifying the goals. There will be stops and starts, failures and successes. Life is an ongoing adventure, even in its most mundane. There’s no reason I can’t take steps to make it better by becoming a better me one day at a time.

Thanks for reading. Hopefully this gets you thinking about some of your own goals too. I hope you achieve them all. See you next week.