End Of An Era, But A Good Day

Last week my Aunt Stella passed away. Okay, Great Aunt, but I’ve never been one to specify too much for particulars when it comes to family. She was a great lady. She loved jokes, and had many jokebooks she would read aloud from and share with us whenever she had the chance. Stella was always the one to break out board games, card games, or start a game of croquet out on the lawn, before the mosquitos got too bad, that is. she loved her God and she loved her large extended family. And we loved her.

Stella lived her entire life on the family farm in Goobertown Arkansas-yes, that is the real name of the town and if you poke fun I will fight you. She never married or had kids of her own, but loved children and made everyone who visited the house feel like they were home. I should probably explain “the house” because this particular house was pretty much one of a kind.

Well, not the house itself, there are lots like it all across the country. This house was special due to its occupants and what it meant to so many. This house was where everyone gathered for many years, longer than I have been alive. My great grandparents lived on that farm and raised twelve children there. Most of them married and moved away, but Stella and her twin sister Clara did not. Two other sisters returned to the farm as adults and stayed as well. After Great Mom died Stella, Clara, Marge and Naomi lived at the house, took care of the farm, and over the years, hosted many visits from their extended family from all over the country. There were times I remember as a kid when there were people in every room, on couches, mattresses on the floor, and pretty much anywhere we could fit.

That house holds memories of cousins playing in the fields, counting the cows, picking and canning vegetables, games that would stretch for hours (“Rook”, Dominoes and “Aggrivation” being the ones I remember most), egg hunts, Christmases, running to the pond and back, walking the gravel road out to cross the highway and get a snack at the general store, church services in the small little New Antioch Baptist Church (which has now more than doubled in size), some AMAZING Southern cooking, and so much more. It was a house full of life, love, and family, family, family.

Now, things have changed. Stella was the last of the sisters to live on the farm. As “the girls” as we called them got older, cousin Jennifer moved in and helped take care of them and the house, and I am so thankful for her presence there. The house is still in the family, but it is the end of an era to be sure.

Much to my chagrin, I was not very good at visiting as an adult, and my kids had never visited. My wife has been, and I have visited for funerals, sadly, but the kids were never able to come along. So when this funeral happened on a MonDave, sorry, Monday, since I was off work and the kids were off school I made sure to take whoever was available. That’s how it came to be that Monday morning the girls and I were off to Arkansas.

I am glad I went for several reasons. For one thing, being a Monday a lot of people could not attend, so it was good to be able to be there. It was nice catching up with some cousins and great Aunts and Uncles I don’t see much. The service was performed by cousin Terry and he did a lovely job.

After a walk through the family plot and a few stories shared, we all ate together and I finally got to take the girls to the farm. Their cousin Barbara took them on a tour of the grounds via a golf cart which she apparently mistook for a formula one racing car. Barbara drives fast and maybe a little reckless, but she comes by it naturally, since her uncle once drove me around on a three wheeler in much the same fashion, only this time nobody broke their arm. Anyway, they had a blast and I was glad they had the experience.

It was a lot of driving (about three and a half hours both ways), and a sad occasion, but as tends to happen when you spend time with those you love, it wound up being a good day with a pleasant memory attatched.

Treasure your time with family, folks. Especially the ones you don’t see as often as you like. Tell the people you love that you love them. Hold them in your heart until you see them again.

I’ll see you next week.

Dance Dad

This was a big week here at the Brink household, it was Dance Recital Week. Which is preceded, of course by Dress Rehearsal Week. There were five nights of recitals, and not a one went by that didn’t have one of my girls in it. Between both girls, there were thirteen performances. That’s a lot of dancing, and it makes for a hectic time.

That’s okay though. Both of my daughters, Tessa and Melody, have been in dance for several years now, but over the past year or so it has gotten quite a bit more serious. I am enjoying their enjoyment, and all the hours of practice and hard work really paid off. Tessa especially is loving it all, and she is fast becoming a real dancer. I mean an honest to goodness, big time DANCER.

Which makes me a Dance Dad. It’s like a Soccer Mom, but usually with less hair.

I enjoy my role and am proud to be a Dance Dad. It doesn’t hurt that there is also a Dance Mom in the house, but we’re on me right now.

The following is a small list I have compiled about what Dance Dads do and who they are, in tribute to my fellow Dance Dads everywhere. This totally belongs on a t-shirt.

DANCE DADS:

-Write the check and worry about it later.
-Know both the quickest and most fuel efficient way to get to the dance studio.
-Aren’t okay with all the costumes.
-Enjoy watching all the different forms of dance. Even ballet.
-Learn the terminology. Arabesque, jete, shuffle ball change, we know ’em all.
-Tailgate at competitions.
-Can spot a really good dancer from an early age-like a major league scout but, y’know, for dance.
-Love it when their daughters dance to “Dad Rock” classics…and cringe at the crappy cover versions.
-Prefer buns, sequins, and Pointe shoes to helmets, uniforms, and cleats. Mostly.
-Routinely make jokes about things being “en Pointe”.
-Get to sit inside a pleasant auditorium while Sports Dads either sweat or freeze to death outside. Dance Dads for the win.
-Love their dancers with all their hearts and wouldn’t change a thing.

Here’s to you, Dance Dads!

Now for everyone else. If you are a dad, a mom, an uncle, aunt, grandparent, godparent, teacher, whatever, support the young people in your life and whatever their dreams may be. It will do you both some good.

See you next week.

Things I Did Today

1. This morning I witnessed a car accident. Thankfully I was not in danger myself, but I watched it happen.

It was pretty bad. I was stopped at an intersection which is an entrance/exit ramp for a highway to the outer road. The traffic light changed to green and the person on the outer road driving their grey SUV (I don’t recall the make, all grey SUVs look pretty much the same)who was just a few cars ahead of me pulled out into the intersection. The person coming down the ramp from the highway (a bigger grey SUV as it happens) did not stop at their own red light. When I say they did not stop, I don’t mean they tried to brake and it wasn’t successful, I mean they DID NOT STOP AT ALL and hit the other driver in the side, making grey SUV #1 spin around at least once, airbags were deployed, the whole nine yards.

Luckily there was a St. Charles Sherriff’s vehicle ( a black SUV for those keeping track) directly behind me who saw the whole thing and immediately pulled around us into the intersection to take control of things.

The cars in front of me pulled over to be a witness, so I did not stay to see the end. Had that not happened I would have done my civic duty and stayed to be a witness myself. Honestly, though I feel like I should have stayed anyway. I did say a small prayer for those involved, for what it’s worth.

So just be careful out there y’all. Look before you pull into any intersection, and try to minimize distractions as best as possible while you drive. Don’t become a story on some stranger’s blog. Don’t become another statistic for the local police force and hospital. None of us are perfect and fate will do what it does, but let’s all be a little more aware of our surroundings and do our best make it where we’re going.

2. One of the things I had to do today was get my car’s transmission inspected. Ironic, perhaps, considering the start to my day, but that’s probably just a coincidence. While in the waiting area I had a pleasant conversation with an African American woman who was there working on her lap top. The television in the room was showing coverage of the Jan. 6th committee hearings. She commented that she would have rather seen “The Price Is Right” instead. I told her that I thought this was more important, though probably less fun. She agreed.

The woman (who’s name I have unfortunately forgotten) commented on how much the participants in the hearings used their hands to talk, which I do as well. This led to a discussion of eye contact, which led into her job, which has to do with assisting the blind. She is currently writing a fiction book for middle school aged children loosely based on one of her past students. Hence the laptop. I didn’t read any of her writing, though if my wife hadn’t come to pick me up I’m sure that would have come next. I wished her well with the book, and also her car, and made my exit. It was good to have a nice chat with a random person in that way. So often we don’t engage with those around us, and having such a nice, interesting chat put me in a better mood to continue my day.

3. I helped my wife clear out some of the stuff from her classroom that she is going to take to her new room. She is currently an English teacher, but switching to a new building and subject next year. She is quite excited about the prospect, but there is a lot of prep work to be done before school starts back up. A little bit at a time and all will be ready to go. So I got to do husband stuff and move boxes and fill trash cans and be the muscle for the day.

This part of my day wasn’t originally planned but I don’t mind. I’m glad to see her succeed and help out any way I can.

4. Speaking of husband stuff, I also went to the grocery store to buy food for the week. This is “Dance Recital Week” for my daughters, which means that it is unlikely all five of us will be in the same room for dinner at the same time any night this week, what with both girls being in multiple dances over multiple nights. The upshot is that it’s an easy grocery week. All I really had to do for groceries was buy lots of frozen food that we can all pop in the microwave and eat whenever. Not the healthiest meal planning I suppose, but we do what we have to do.

5. Early this evening I took my son to Taekwondo and got to watch him practice his forms. He’s really pretty good when he focuses in on it. I suspect he’d rather be playing video games, but this is good for him to help keep the boy focused and active. He started a few years ago and is working his way up to achieving his black belt. He is a red belt now so there are still a few more steps to go but he is well on his way.

Okay, full disclosure, I also sat and read for a little bit while the class was doing their group activities. I just started “The Kept” by James Scott. I have read mixed reviews for this book but I found it on sale and it looked promising. One chapter in and so far so good.

6. Later in the evening I went out to my Dad’s place to pick up a few things from his basement. He wasn’t at home but I got a spare key from my brother and went over to Dad’s condo and picked up a few things. Interesting to see a few things I left over there still pretty much where I left them years ago. One extra thing I took with me were some old paintings I did.

About eighteen years ago I got it into my head that I’d like to try painting, so my soon to be wife bought me a bunch of paints and I gave it a whirl. The paintings aren’t great, but they are a start. I didn’t get very far with it all, but I have periodically thought that I should go back to it. I think I could do it better now. Maybe I will give it another go somewhere down the line.

Okay, that was my Monday. It was pretty full. I’m off to bed now, but I’ll see you next week!

Happy June!

June is, of course, Pride Month. Here at MonDAVEs we recognize and support our siblings in the LGBTQ+ community. More on this in a future post.

What is less known, however, is that June is also Candy month. Skittles has ingeniously combined these two occasions for years, often being cited as the “gayest candy” due to the whole rainbow thing. Well, we won’t be getting into that debate, but let’s discuss another candy that is a worldwide favorite: Cotton Candy.

While it is not known exactly where Cotton Candy falls in the ranking of gay candies (it’s gotta be up there, right?) it is a candy that has brought enjoyment to many a child and adult at baseball games and state fairs for years. As previously mentioned, this is not just an American phenomenon as Cotton Candy has its origins in China. A version of this sugary treat was said to have been made during the Han Dynasty, somewhere between 206-220 AD. The original name for this candy was “Dragon’s Beard” which is 100% more badass than anything it has been called since.

Speaking of, what we know as Cotton Candy here in the U.S.A. goes by many different names throughout the rest of the world. The following is a list of my favorites.

-Candyfloss (popular throughout most of Europe)
-Sugar Spin (Norwegian for Candy-Floss spelled with a hyphen because it’s fancy I guess)
-Sockervadd (Sweden)
-Wata Cukrowa (Polish for Sugar Cotton, which is probably the most accurate)
-Fairy Floss (Australia)
-Hattara (Finnish for Small Cloud)
-Dad’s Beard (France, which is weird)
-Grandma’s Hair (Greece, which is weirder)

Okay, so most of these are cute and fluffy names, but what’s with the hair comparisons, y’all? Sure, of all the candies it’s probably the most hair-like, but still, why? Why with this? Ew.

Anyway, now that summer is upon us, you’re sure to see this sweet treat sooner or later, and hey, no judgement if you get yourself a big bag of colorful sugary goodness and chow down. Just know that when you do you’ll remember this post and start thinking about your family member’s heads as you eat and then you’ll get all disgusted and throw it away, BUT before you get all mad at MonDAVEs for making you waste that money think about how much sugar is actually in that bag and how it’s obviously super hot outside and besides, who knows, tossing that bag aside might have just prevented a heart attack thus saving your life so you’re welcome.

Weekend Recap

I started this blog as an attempt to escape all the awfulness of living in the current reality that is America in the 2020s. That means only silliness and personal anecdotes are allowed to be discussed here-no volatile subject matter of any political nature. However, since everything is political these days, that’s getting mighty hard to do. Especially after a news week like this past one.

So in trying my best to stick to my own rules, I’m not going to blast out a post full of my own opinions (though that may wind up coming soon anyway), but instead I’m just going to tell you about my weekend.

This Memorial Day weekend I:

-had WAY too much food
-had WAY too little exercise
-got a little too much sun
-visited a church where I was one of the youngest people in attendance, by A LOT
-watched “A Mighty Wind” for probably like the tenth time because I listened to the soundtrack last week and it has been in my head
-bought a new cd and an old book
-received a handmade instrument, a two string “spamjo” which is pretty much exactly what you think it is
-heard a placemat referred to as a “food mattress”
-heard White Claw referred to as “Zima for Millennials”
-smoked some chicken quarters on the pellet grill which was good but the recipe needs to be refined a bit
-celebrated my brother’s birthday
-ate a cake shaped like a cat and wasn’t sure how to respond when asked if I “wanted some tail”
-went to a Memorial Day picnic where we officially said goodbye to and, well, for lack of a better word, memorialized two people who had a strong impact on me as a child and, in one case, as an adult too
-saw a few people I hadn’t seen for a long time which was nice
-actually got a little sleep.

Honestly, I didn’t plan for most of that, except for my brother’s birthday, but it wound up being a pretty good weekend. I hope yours was good as well.

See you next week.