Daddy/Daughter Marvel Movie Review, Quantum Edition

If you made it to the end of the last blog you will remember that I mentioned the possibility of a tiny update this weekend, and here it is. The official MonDAVEs review of Marvel’s Ant Man And The Wasp:Quantumania! Ha! See what I did there? Tiny update? ‘Cause y’know, Ant Man? He gets small? Whoo! Comedy!

Tessa: That is a solid joke.

Dave: Really?

T: Yeah.

D: Huh. Oh yeah, teenage daughter Tessa is here too and she will give us her thoughts as well. As always, we will both give our reviews on a scale of 1 to 5 and we will try to get away with only light spoilers if any.

Just in case you’re unfamiliar, this is Ant Man #3. During this adventure, the entire family gets sucked into the Quantum realm (see previous Ant Man movies for info on that), at which point they learn about Janet’s history of being trapped in the realm and all the adventures she got up to. Of course, she is brought right back into the thick of things, endangering the family (particularly Cassie), greeting old friends and new, causing a revolution, and getting Kang The Conqueror seriously ticked off. This will soon have major reverberations throughout the MCU, affecting multiple timelines, alternate realities and pert near anything else you can think of.

Now that you’re mostly caught up, let’s talk about it. Take it away, Tess.

T: This movie was pretty good. Phase 5 of the MCU has been hit or miss so far, when the movies are good they’re really good, but when they aren’t they’re mid and forgettable. In Phase 5, a movie has to have something extraordinary to be remembered as one of the good ones, or to be remembered at all. I feel like Ant Man and The Wasp: Quantumania accomplishes that. This movie was mostly a segway to the future movies, setting up Kang as one of the main villains of the MCU from here on out, and I understand that. But I feel like this movie was missing the character development I felt it needed.

Films can focus on one of four things: Plot, Emotional Effect or Mood, Style/Texture/Structure, or Characters. In my opinion, this movie (along with pretty much all Marvel movies) was focusing on plot. Which is all fine and dandy, I just feel like I personally tend to like character driven films better. I like when there are characters to focus on and analyze as a viewer, which I thought this movie lacked. Sure, Scott and Cassie’s relationship was expanded upon, and Janet played a much bigger role than in the other two Ant Man and The Wasp movies, but the plot was so aggressively shoved in our faces. There was like ten minutes of exposition at the beginning, ten minutes of Lang family bonding at the end and the rest of the movie was about the plot. And to be fair it was a good plot.

Kang was set up as a new villain really well. He has the potential to be really threatening and he could be used in lots of cool multiverse and time travel plot lines. The quantum realm was actually really cool, and I liked all the characters we met there. However, they were not expanded upon at all. I can barely remember any of their names. This comes back to the main point I have, there was no character development. I understand that this is just a set-up movie, and I get they had to take out a lot of things because they wanted it to be more plot driven. I get that this was intentional, I just didn’t like that aspect very much. There was also no Luis, which is sad. But I liked most of this movie, and the cut scenes were pretty cool! I’m excited for what comes next with Kang the Conqueror and the Ant Man gang.

D: I agree with the character development point, although I think the mains were known well enough by fans of the MCU. It would have been nice to know a little bit more about the new characters we met , though, so that we cared a little bit more about their fates. I think perhaps that decision was made in an attempt to shorten the movies down timewise until we get to the big ensemble pieces later on.

I think this movie was quite enjoyable. It was a lot of fun, beautiful to look at, and I think it works as a transition piece. It was a good science fiction adventure movie, but I don’t think it was a good Ant Man movie. I feel like Ant Man works best in his small world, and as a part of the Avengers team. This film just feels a little out of place. With all the new worlds we were witnessing and the multiple alien species involved, it felt more like a Star Wars movie to me than a Marvel movie. That’s okay, I enjoy both, but it just didn’t feel right. But then, I thought that the Star Wars Rise Of Skywalker movie felt like Marvel, so what do I know?

Lastly, I think the cast were all very good, but I’m not so sure about Jonathan Majors as Kang. No disrespect as an actor, but I wasn’t thrilled with his performance here. Kang didn’t feel very menacing to me, but that may have been an intentional choice to introduce us to the more human, relatable side of the character before revealing his true evil in future installments. Still a very interesting character though, and it’s clear that Kang isn’t going to mess around.

T: Side eyeing that last paragraph, but I won’t argue. I give this a 4 out of 5.

D: I give it a 3.5 out of 5. Which feels a little low, actually, but I was probably too kind to the last Thor picture, so I guess this evens that out. Again, I enjoyed it, but it just didn’t floor me.

Alright, there you go. See you next time for more stuff.

Valentine’s Day Post-What A Joke!

I share lots of Dad jokes here at the ol’ blog, jokes for every occasion. I see no reason why Valentine’s Day should be any different. Here are a heart shaped box full of funnies to make you giggle. Also, if you haven’t gotten anything for your sweetheart, print these out and give them to him/her in a card. Way better than flowers. Trust me. Actually, no, don’t do that.

Here’s the jokes, folks:

-Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
A calendar.

-Why didn’t the skeleton get a present for his Valentine?
His heart wasn’t in it.

-What did one piece of toast say to the other?
“You’re my butter half!”

-What did the couple say after getting struck by Cupid’s arrow?
“Ouch!”

-What did the tortoise say on Valentine’s Day?
“I turt-ally love you!”

-Two antennae met on a roof, fell in love, and got married on Valentine’s Day. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy, but the reception was excellent.

-What is an octopus’s favorite love song?
“I Wanna Hold Your Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand, Hand.”

-Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn’t suit his taste.

-Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love?
They’re getting married in the spring!

-Why was the ghost sad on Valentine’s Day?
Because he didn’t have a boo.

-Why did the astronaut couple break up?
They needed space.

-What did the thread say to the needle?
“I’m sew into you!”

-Did you hear about the vampire wedding?
It was love at first bite.

-Did Adam and Eve have a date?
No, they had an apple.

-Why do Valentines have hearts on them?
Because spleens would look pretty gross.

-What’s the difference between a $25 steak and a $55 steak?
February 14th.

Okay, that’s it for this week. I’ll be back next Monday with more stuff, although there may be a tiny update this weekend. Stay tuned.

Cool Stuff You Never Needed To Know But Will Probably Use At Your Next Party During A Lull In Conversation

Craving some useless knowledge? I got you, fam. Here are some weird, random, and interesting factoids courtesy of MonDAVEs, the world wide web, and my son’s random fact a day calendar.

-The height of the Eiffel Tower changes depending on the season. It can be up to six inches shorter in winter due to changing temperatures.

-Millions of years ago, in South America, there were giant armadillo-like creatures the size of Volkswagen Beetles.

-Dateline: April 11th, 1954. Nothing happened. No major events were recorded at all, anywhere, making it officially the most boring day in history. Which is actually pretty interesting, now that I think about it. So, I guess that’s not boring anymore. Kinda defeats the purpose. Sorry.

-During World War II, Great Britain came up with what was known as Operation Vegetarian. The plan was to poison Germany’s cattle by dropping linseed cakes laced with anthrax from the sky. The cakes were never actually used, but five million of them were produced.

-Okay so, at one time, and I swear I’m not making this up, Mattel sold a doll called “Growing Up Skipper” that, when you turned her arm, got taller and her breasts got larger.

-Baby puffins are called “pufflings” which is the cutest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

-There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

-A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time. It is 1/100th of a second. So if anyone tells you they’ll do something “in a jiffy” they are either a liar or The Flash.

-A group of bunnies is called a “fluffle” which is the second cutest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

-In 1386 in Falaise, in Northern France, a sow was publicly executed. The pig had attacked a young child, who died from the injuries. The pig was put on trial with full legal representation. The pig was found guilty, and on the day was led into the town square dressed in a man’s clothes, and hung.

Well, there you are. You never know what you’re going to read here next, do ya? I sure don’t. Come back next week and be as surprised as I am for more MonDAVEs!

Elvis And Me

Let me tell you all about Elvis. No, not that one. This one’s smaller, scrappier, and furrier. He would also look better in a sequined jumpsuit, although that’s probably not going to happen. Also, this Elvis is actually ALIVE. Although, honestly, that was touch and go for a bit.

Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me go back a few weeks and start over.

Okay, so the first thing you need to know is that my wife and I are very much fans of adopting our pets. Well, the furry ones anyway. The turtle is another story. Anyway, all of our furry friends have been shelter animals. We had some discussions about the next dog we adopt being a Senior dog, since they don’t tend to be adopted very quickly and can spend quite a long time caged up while the cute little puppies go to a new home in a matter of days. I mean, sure, I get that. But Senior dogs still make good pets and there’s no reason why a healthy dog shouldn’t be able to spend its last four or five years in a loving home instead of a shelter.

This has tugged on our hearts for a while, and the thought was that after the current dog goes (something we hope doesn’t happen for a good, long while), we’d look for a Senior dog. Then, of course, we started thinking about getting a second dog, and pretty much decided against it, since the time, effort and costs involved seemed like they’d be a little much. However, we decided to keep our eyes open, just in case. You see where this is going, right?

Just a few days after Christmas, I searched the shelter pages on my phone, as I would randomly do every other month or so just to see what was what. I stumbled on a picture of a cute little guy that kinda stole my heart, and his story convinced me. His name was Melvin (not Elvis. Yet.), he was a nine year old terrier mix, he was described as a “cuddle machine”, and also as being deaf. I showed the listing to my wife, and we agreed that he’d be worth taking a chance on. So I went down to the shelter after work on Dec. 28th to meet the doggo possibly bring him home.

When I met him, he seemed pretty chill, and quite definitely deaf. The shelter said I could take him on a two week foster because of his deafness, and not have to pay anything or officially adopt until the trial period was over just in case a deaf dog wound up being too difficult for our household to manage. Seemed like a good deal to me, so I left with Melvin in tow. When I called Valerie to tell her I was coming home with the dog, she was happy, but mentioned that she wasn’t too thrilled about the name, since we already have a Mel in the house, and two didn’t sit right. So we tried a few names out over the phone, and she hit upon Elvis pretty quickly, since it has a lot of the same sounds involved and, let’s face it, is a way cooler name.

So we brought him home, had him meet our current dog Zoey, and the kids, and everything seemed all right. We were able to communicate through stomping on the floor or using a flashlight to get his attention, and were working on hand signs for simple commands as well. The first day and a half or so went really well. I even posted his picture on my Facebook page to talk about this cute little doggie we were fostering and possibly adopting. Everything was awesome!

Then it all changed. Elvis started sleeping a lot more, but I didn’t worry about that, he’d been through a lot recently, I figured he was just tired. His tiredness kept on, and he was acting disinterested in everything. We were beginning to think we got a dud of a dog. He was showing no signs of personality at all. Next thing you know, he didn’t want to eat. Between the two of us, we had enough experience to know that a dog not eating is a bad sign. So we figured he was sick.

On Jan. 6th we called the shelter back, and they had us bring him in for an exam. Yup, he had an infection. They sent us back home with some medicine and a special dog food diet. For two more days we fed him as best we could and got the medicine in him, but it wasn’t helping. In fact, he got worse. Even if you got down on the floor and spoon fed him the little guy wouldn’t eat. His poor little nose was running non stop and affecting his breathing. He wasn’t a “cuddle machine” at all-more like a snot machine. Valerie could pick him up and he was a lifeless lump in her arms. We were honestly worried that he wouldn’t make it through the night for two nights in a row. So we had to make he decision to surrender him back to the shelter two days later, even though it made us sad to do so. I was sure to tell them though that if he was to get better we would still be interested, and they said that they would give a call when/if he got better.

After a week went by, I decided to call the shelter and inquire about the dog, just to see if he was even still among us. I was told that he was much sicker than they had originally thought (duh), and that they had to up his medication. They gave him fluids as well, give him nose drops, and were keeping him in a room with a nebulizer. Poor little dude was going through it! The person I talked to seemed to think Elvis could still make it, and they’d let me know if he did.

On January 14th, we got the call. Elvis was ready to come home if we still wanted him. Well, yeah, of course. They were kind enough to restart the two week foster period, just in case, but we were free to come get him. So, with renewed hope, but low expectations I went and picked him up again. This time I was definitely not posting on Facebook about it, because I didn’t want to jinx it-and I didn’t talk about it either-just in case.

Elvis is alive-and almost a completely different dog! First of all, that whole not eating thing is a thing of the past. This is the most food motivated dog I have ever known (and that’s saying a lot) so much so that we actually have to hide food from him. He also likes to jump up on the couch for cuddles (not exactly a “machine”, but still nice), and he enjoys exploring the back yard. He’s also a little mischievous, but in a cute way. Turns out he’s a digger, which isn’t great, but he is going after the mole hills in back which is pretty great, so good boy I guess.

Oh, and we’ve also discovered he’s NOT DEAF. He may be a little bit hard of hearing, since there are some sounds he won’t respond to (or maybe he just doesn’t want to-he could be playing us, still not sure), but he does respond to our voices, and any type of package opening because it could be food.

So far, there hasn’t been too many problems between Elvis and Zoey either. They are both a little jealous of the other when it comes to pets. Zoey, sweet girl that she is, has always gotten all the pets, and she wants ALL THE PETS. Turns out Elvis wants ALL THE PETS too, so there is a bit of a minor rivalry going on there, and I am learning how to successfully pet two dogs simultaneously.

Elvis has snapped at Zoey a few times over food, but he is overly skinny and we think a little bit food insecure. Again, this is pretty minor and we are able to stop anything from getting out of hand. It’s only natural for there to be a little skirmish or two among the two of them as they figure out the pecking order, and Elvis gets used to how things work around here. Besides, they seem to get along pretty well otherwise. Zoey is a Huskador, and is quite a bit bigger than our little Elvis, so he does constantly get biffed in the face by her ever wagging tail, but he doesn’t seem to be too bothered. I have also seen him lick her on occasion as he walks by. So I don’t think there’s too much to worry about there.

As for the rest of us, well we are getting used to him and him to us. He does seem to like us a whole bunch, and we like him back too.

So much so that today we made it official. January 30th, a full month plus since we had our two week trial, Elvis is officially part of the family. He’s a Brink! We look forward to lots of fun and love from our new little buddy.

That’s the scoop for this week see you next time for more MonDAVES. Oh, and to my regular readers I say tank you. Thankyouverymuch.

Sorry. Had to.

Winter Jokes

We are well and truly into Winter here in the STL, and with a snowstorm expected tomorrow night, I thought it might be a fun to share a few Winter themed jokes,

Joke #1

Did you hear about the big Winter storm in New York? It got so cold the bankers were walking around with their hands in their own pockets.

Joke #2

A wife texts her husband on a cold Winter’s day: “Windows frozen. Won’t open”. So the guy texts back, saying “Pour lukewarm water on it”. The wife texts back “Computer’s really messed up now”.

Joke #3

Why are we only concerned about snowmen and not snowwomen? Because only a man is dumb enough to stand out in the cold without a coat.

Joke #4

Last Winter I went bobsleighing with the family. Killed 37 Bobs.

Joke #5

What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together? A receding hare line.

And finally, my favorite:

Joke #6

A baby polar bear goes up to his father and says “Daddy am I a Polar Bear?”

The dad says “Of course you’re a polar bear. I’m a polar bear, your mom’s a polar bear, you are a polar bear. Now get outta here and quit asking stupid questions.”

So the kid goes up to his mom and says “Mommy, am I a Polar bear? I mean, really and truly a polar bear?”

“Well of course you are, sweetheart” the mama says. “I am a polar bear, you’re father’s a polar bear, so that makes you a polar bear too. Now why would you ask such a question, dear?”

Kid says, “Because I’m FREEZING.”

Ha.

See you next week.