Walking Down Nostalgia Blvd. (Which is just a block or so north of Memory Lane if that helps)

I’ve been feeling a wee bit nostalgic as of late. Despite my best efforts to mature as little as possible, I am definitely getting older, and missing a few things from the good old days. My social media accounts are often peppered with videos and posts about products, entertainment, places and people from days gone by (there are lots of Gen Xers on YouTube, TikTok, and Twitter producing these things), and I admittedly seek out You Tube compilations of old commercials sometimes as a relaxer before bed time.

All this combined with doing an amazing amount of running around store to store this weekend got me thinking about stores that have closed down which I miss. Sure, I do a lot of my shopping online but sometimes you need to go to a store physically to see what you are buying, and other times you just want to.

So here’s a list of some shut down stores that I miss and would love to see come back.

Payless ShoeSource

One odd thing about me is that I hate spending a ton of money on shoes. I’m not sure why footwear is where my line is drawn about spending money, but here we are. Just today I was in a store looking at the clearance section and everything was still about twenty dollars more than I wanted to pay for it. As a result I walked away with no new purchases.

This made me realize how much I miss Payless. Even without their BOGO offers (which probably helped lead to their decline now that I think of it) I was always sure to find a decent mix of styles for a price I could afford, and the shoes tended to be good quality for the price as well. The loss of Payless has been felt by pocketbooks around the country.

Good news though, they do still exist in an online form. This doesn’t really help me as much as I would like since one of my feet is slightly bigger than the other and I pretty much have to try on every pair of shoes I buy since I am a different size in different brands. Rumor has it that they may be bringing back their brick and mortar stores too, so there is a little bit of hope here.

Borders Books And Music

Wow do I miss Borders. Don’t get me wrong, Barnes & Noble is a decent replacement, but it can’t hold a candle to the old Borders stores. Borders always had a great selection for actual book, movie, and music enthusiasts. Each store had a slightly different inventory beyond the best sellers, but they always had really cool stuff. These stores were stocked by people who really cared about the product they were selling and the staff were always willing to go the extra mile to make sure you found something awesome. I can’t tell you how many oddball DVDs, small press books, and even indie CDs I bought at Borders. They were a store for collectors and geeks run by collectors and geeks, which made them superior to any other large chain or mall based stores out there. The combination of Amazon’s rise, and B&N’s Nook device (which I still despise-give me an old fashioned book with paper and a cover any day) led to their quick demise, and the loss of Borders is a sad one I still feel to this day.

K-B Toys (or Kay Bee Toy and Hobby if you’re old school enough)

Okay, yeah, the big stand alone stores like Toys R Us and Children’s Palace technically were bigger, had more toys and aisles to wander through, and were probably better both on paper and in person.

But.

Being a kid and being dragged to the shopping mall by your mother (years before you went there to hang out and be obnoxious with your friends) was only made bearable by a visit to K-B. You’d spend what felt like hours going store to store while Mom combed through every conceivable rack of clothes, often leaving you sitting outside the fitting room in that chair that was always inexplicably sticky, and then she’d make you try on all kinds of stuff too. Then there’d be the stores full of knick-knacks, accessories, home goods and whatever else was on the agenda that afternoon. If you were lucky, maybe you got a hot pretzel out of the deal. If you were really lucky however, you got to go to K-B.

What a thrill it was to roam the aisles of the only store in the mall that was all for you. You got to see all the latest and greatest stuff. Immediately upon entering you’d start making out your birthday/Christmas list in your head. There were toys you knew your parents could never afford (but you asked for anyway), and there were smaller toys you could buy with your own money if you saved your allowance for a few weeks. There were toys for toddlers, school age kids, some model kits and packaged cards for hobbyists, and even a few bikes, scooters, and skateboards. Digital games too! It was a shining reward of a store for all us long suffering kids.

Then there were those times when you actually went home with a toy. This was the ultimate score in kid-dom. It didn’t matter if it was the newest, coolest doll or action figure, a pack of Garbage Pail Kid cards, or a set of Colorforms (remember those?), leaving the mall with anything from K-B was an absolute win. I kind of feel sorry that kids today don’t get to experience that.

Radio Shack

Radio Shack was THE store for electronics. Back in the day, you had multiple components to all of your electronics in the house. Your VCR, TV, video games, stereo equipment, and pretty much anything else that plugged into the wall all had multiple cords and plugs needed to make them work. Nowadays a lot of this stuff is self contained, or requires one lousy USB cable. Back then you often had three cables just for your VCR. Not to mention the cable/television antenna and adapter for your Atari system. Anyway, back in those days, pretty much everybody had to know a little bit about what plugs and adapters got hooked into where. So when one of those cords went bad, or you needed a new one for your most recent electronic purchase, you went to Radio Shack and took care of business.

It wasn’t just cords though. Radio Shack were among the first electronics stores to sell home computing systems. They also sold phones, both landline and cellular. They had radios (duh) and other portable audio. Radio Shack also carried remote control toys and handheld electronic games, ham radio equipment, cameras, microphones, head phones, you name it, and all at prices your average Joe could afford. Was it all high end stuff? No. But it worked, and it was decent quality nonetheless. Everybody went to Radio Shack and used their stuff, and you could always bet that come Christmas morning, something under the tree would be from the Shack.

It feels like we are not as much of a DIY society as we used to be, which is kind of sad. However, it seems that Radio Shack does still have an online presence, and a few stores kind of willy-nilly throughout the country. I think they mostly do supplies now as opposed to selling electronic products, but it’s nice to know that you can still use them if you look hard enough and have the need.

Fotomat

Ah, yes, the old Fotomat. Those goofy looking kiosks in random parking lots that have all seemed to turn into snow cone places or drive through coffee joints.

In case you forgot (or somehow never knew), we didn’t always carry hundreds of pictures around in our pockets. They weren’t stored on our phones, or on digital cameras and in computers. Used to be that cameras had actual film in them. Once the film was used up, you’d drive the canister over to the Fotomat to be developed, drop it off, wait a few days and then pick up your pictures and see how they turned out. You’d never know exactly how they’d look. Would they be too light or too dark? Would the people in the photos have no heads because your viewing window on your camera was too far away from the actual lens? Would you get just a close up of finger? You never knew-and that made the waiting and the reveal exciting!

I mean, it’s actually better now, since you can instantly see if your picture sucks or not, and you can edit on the spot or just take another one. It’s infinitely more efficient, but maybe there’s a bit of charm lacking, and the whole enterprise is maybe not as much fun.

Show Biz Pizza Place

All right so it’s not a store exactly, but a part of me is still annoyed that these got shut down. Plus, it’s my list and I can do what I want.

Show Biz was a kid’s paradise, it had everything you could possibly want for a birthday party or just a way to spend a rainy day with a friend or two. Pizza? Check. Video games? Check. Skee Ball? Yup. Ball Pit? Some locations!

They also had an animatronic house band called the Rock-A-Fire Explosion. These characters would not only “perform” songs, but they would perform skits as well. They had fleshed out characters who interacted on stage, called out the birthday boy or girl by name, and presented a quality product. I loved Billy Bob, Beach Bear. Mitzi Mozzarella, and my favorite, Fats the gorilla. This was great stuff, and there are still fans of Show Biz out there on the internet preserving the memories of this wonderful restaurant. Some have even recovered/restored the old animatronic characters and there are numerous You Tube videos of the band rocking out to modern songs.

As a side note, I’m pretty sure that Show Biz pretty specifically was the template for the restaurant in the Five Nights At Freddy’s horror video game series. Cool idea, that game, but the actual, real place was awesome, innocent, and fun. I swear!!

Anyway, there were other establishments that used a similar idea (even one pizza place/arcade I remember that featured magicians and had a castle theme for some reason called AbraKDabra), but none came close to the level of fun or quality to be found at Show Biz Pizza Place.

Which is all to say that Show Biz did, and still does, kick Chuck E Cheese’s sorry butt.

Okay, well, that was fun. I hope you enjoyed my little nostalgia trip. Maybe it brought back some good memories for you too. Perhaps we’ll revisit this topic another time. Come back next week and see what lies in store on the next edition of MonDAVES! Bye, y’all.

Enough With The Streaming Already

Okay, I’ll be the first to admit that I was totally in on the whole streaming idea as a replacement for cable television which, let’s face it, has had an extremely broken business model for years now. I don’t regret my decision to cut the cable chord, nor do I plan to return. I do enjoy my streaming services, and I use them daily.

But we’re now at the point of over saturation.

It all started innocently enough, since there were only a few streaming channels available in the beginning and the big dogs, Netflix and Hulu, are still standing. Remember when those two were basically all you needed? Maybe a specialty streamer was a good idea, say for a favorite sport or particular movie or TV genre, but if you had those two you were good. Once the success of these services was proven you started getting a few others on the scene, most notably Amazon Prime, which really upped the ante as far as what was available to stream.

Then it seemed like everybody wanted to get into the act. Can’t blame them, of course, from a business standpoint. First, the cable and broadcast networks began to enter into exclusive contracts with one service or another for rights to air their hit shows. No longer content with that little piece of the pie, before you knew it many of these networks had their own streaming channels available. Major film studios soon followed suit. Which of course left the main streamers free to develop more and more original programming that, depending upon what was hot at the moment, meant you had to subscribe to multiple streamers so as not to miss out.

Then there’s the battle of the providers, Roku vs. Apple TV. Each have pros and cons, and exclusives that one must consider when deciding who to stream with. Not to be outdone, cable got into the act by requiring a cable subscription to stream many sporting events, since those contracts already existed. Even the new MLS soccer league has a deal with Apple TV where not only do you need to subscribe to Apple, but also to a specific service to see the games. Kinda like the NFL did years back with their “Sunday Ticket” and “Redzone” cable and Satellite TV offers.

Oh yeah, Satellite TV is a thing too. Basically cable you can’t watch when it rains. But I digress.

Now, all of this is fine and well on paper. The multiple streaming channels idea makes sense in our modern world. Give the people choice, and they only need pay for the streaming channels they want, thus eliminating the nonsense of cable. With cable you’d pay for about fifty channels that you don’t care about and you will never watch. That, along with the absolutely ridiculous price, was why we got rid of cable in the first place. All right, so far so good, but there are issues.

Firstly, most of these streaming channels, the really good ones anyway, require subscriptions. Especially if you’d like to watch with no commercials, or you want access to the really primo stuff. Oh, hey, tiered subscriptions. Another reason why we all got rid of cable. Interesting.

The problem though, is that this streaming thing was supposed to save us money, and now most people are finding their monthly streaming bills going up and up. Many are beginning to reject paying for new services when they are only interested in one or two programs provided. Yet you are still paying for hundreds of new choices within the streaming app.

Which brings me to point number two.

There’s just too much choice. Sure, it’s nice to have a seemingly unending choice of viewing material at your fingertips. The problem is that you have a seemingly unending choice of viewing at your fingertips.

Unless a person is going to watch something very specific, picking something out is a Herculean task. First, you must browse the new releases and the “recommended for you” sections. Then it’s a quick look at the “because you watched” section. Then you start to think about a specific genre of show you want to watch and begin scrolling through that category. If you still can’t find anything that seems a good fit for that evening’s entertainment, don’t worry. There are at least five more streaming channels that you subscribe to. Pick one and start the process all over again. Each streamer has hundreds of choices, so you’re sure to find something, right?

Wrong. I don’t know about you all, but I have actually spent the better part of an hour scrolling through choices just trying to find something to watch. There’s only so much you can take of the scrolling, reading descriptions and watching meticulously picked scenes for previews. The frustrating thing is that I want to watch all of it, but don’t feel like watching any of it. After a while it just hurts the brain, and it’s easier to just go to bed.

I’d actually like to see data on how many people just scroll and never find anything, or how long the average person scrolls before choosing. I bet those numbers are way bigger than you’d think. Or maybe they’re smaller. Maybe I’m just a weirdo. Definitely possible.

What I’m interested to see, however, is how this will all play out in the long run. I’m sure we will be stuck with things the way they are for the foreseeable future. Still, I can’t help but wonder how this is all going to shake out. Streaming in and of itself is not very old in the grand scheme of things, and it got really popular really quickly. Sometimes that’s a recipe for success, sometimes disaster. Will the over saturation continue or will people finally have enough and trim the fat back down to only a few channels? Will some new thing come along and make all of this streaming stuff obsolete in another ten years? Time will tell.

Selfishly, I’d kind of like to see this all lead to a rediscovery of and an uptick in sales of physical media. I know, people are all about minimalism now, but hear me out. How many times have you been in the middle of a series only to find it removed from the service you were watching it on? Then it moves to another one you don’t have, but can’t really afford to subscribe to. Or you discover a new favorite movie that disappears entirely and you never do find it again. What about old classics that you used to love but no service seems to have?

Well, that’s where physical media comes in. If you own a copy and have a player to watch it on this will never be an issue. You can always go back to the comfort food that is your favorite shows or films. Let’s face it, even with the hundreds of choices available, Netflix, Hulu et al have limited space available. Sooner or later, something’s going to have to go. Maybe it will rotate back into the system. Maybe not. Wouldn’t it be nice to know you have your own copy whenever you want it? This applies to music and books as well.

Sure, streaming is “now”, but there are signs that physical will never truly go away. Some people are just born with the collector gene, and if you’re into the arts, you’re going to collect the pieces you love. There are more than a few labels out there, for both movies and music, that specialize in niche offerings such as specific genres and classics, as well as the latest popular thing. Many of these companies have seen steady numbers, and some growth in the past few years. Maybe a return to physical media is imminent. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part.

Okay, rant over. Sorry if it wasn’t as humorous as you’d expect from this blog. Try going back and reading it in Grandpa Simpson’s voice, maybe that will help.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch a little TV before bed. I’m in the middle of four different shows. If I can only pick the perfect one to watch…

See you next week.

Questions? I Got Answers!

I recently read that a personal blog such as this one should be both informational and confessional in order to be considered successful. So with that in mind, I am going to give you a window into my mind, heart and soul by answering 25 “Would You Rather” questions I found while surfing the net. There are 150 questions in the original list but I’m only doing the first section because this post would be way too long otherwise, and I’m too lazy to do more than that anyway. See? A confession already and we’re not even through with the introduction. This should be fun.

Questions from “Happy Toddler Playtime”

Would you rather be called Boo Boo Butt or Willy Willy Wonky Face?
-In certain circles, I am already known as “Willy Willy Wonka Face” thank you very much.
Would you rather be invisible or be able to fly?
-Invisibility is the only hip answer to this question.
Would you rather live inside a banana or a watermelon?
-Ooh, good question. I like bananas way better, but a watermelon has a lot more room. So that.
Would you rather be able to hear things no one else could or see things no one else could?
-What kind of things would I be seeing? Like ghosts? No thanks. I’ll take super hearing.
Would you rather catch a frog or a fly?
-For what purpose? A frog, I guess. Maybe we’ll be friends. I’d name him Herbie.
Would you rather take a skunk for a walk or a porcupine?
-This question comes down to environment. I think a porcupine would be more fun for a walk in the park, but if I’m walking in a bad neighborhood I would take the skunk. Nobody’s gonna mess with a guy walking a skunk.
Would you rather work at NASA or the FBI?
-Ummm…NASA? I guess? Wait, do I actually have to go into space? No? Okay, NASA.
Would you rather dress as your school principal or your math teacher?
-Well, my principals mostly wore suits, so I choose that. At least I’d look like maybe I was in charge of something.
Would you rather eat 1000 smarties or 1000 lb chocolate bar?
-Dude. Smarties are my favorite. Especially those weird ones that look like what the color orange would look like if it wasn’t feeling well.
Would you rather teach someone a new joke or a new dance?
-New joke. Although it has been said that my dancing is a joke already, so fifty-fifty on this one.
Would you rather drink swimming pool water or toilet bowl water?
-I’ve ingested enough swimming pool water in my life that I’m probably immune to the chemicals at this point, so let’s go with that.
Would you rather jump into a frozen lake or into a pile of jello?
-Jello. A frozen lake sounds horrible, especially if I have to break the ice. Jello on the other hand might be fun, and possibly profitable given the right circumstance.
Would you rather climb a mountain or scuba dive in the ocean?
-I love the mountains, and have hiked some of the ones that already have a trail going up. Actually climbing one however, that seems hard. Let’s go scuba diving and see some fishies.
Would you rather carry 1000 spider-sized lions or 1 lion-sized spider?
-Thanks for putting that picture in my head, I’m gonna have nightmares now. Anyway, the obvious answer here is to go with having an army of tiny lions at my command. That’s evil criminal mastermind stuff right there, straight out of the cartoons. I’m going lions. Also, combined with my already established power of invisibility, I am getting up to some stuff!
Would you rather constantly have to cough or constantly have to sneeze?
-Cough. Maybe I’ll develop a cool Tom Waits style rasp.
Would you rather live in the jungle or on an iceberg?
-Jungle. With an ape named Ape, my elephant Shep, and Fella and Ursula who, no doubt, will stay in step. Might change my name to George.
Would you rather jump up and down all day or stand still?
-Look, I’m already tired, let me stand still for crying out loud.
Would you rather fly a rocket ship or a plane?
-With my NASA training you’d think rocket ship, but no. Plane. That’s how I get to the jungle.
Would you rather have to feed 1 elephant or 1 million ants?
-I actually, no joke, used to know a guy who worked at the elephant house in the St. Louis Zoo, so I’d do that since I already have an in. Shep will not go hungry!
Would you rather be a triplet or have 10 brothers and sisters?
-Triplet. With three you have a built in band. Coulda used that.
Would you rather have the power to live on the sun or on the moon?
I suppose the moon. People take trips there every now and then, but nobody ever goes to the sun. It would get lonely.
Would you rather sit for an entire day or stand for an entire day?
-What do you mean by “day”, is it 24 hours, or just like from sunup to sundown? Need more info, please.
Would you rather have a dinosaur as a pet or an alien?
-Dinosaur. Small one.
Would you rather be a robot or a flower?
-Depends. Am I a sentient robot after they have inevitably risen up and enslaved mankind, or just like a dumb ass Roomba? You know what, forget it. I’ll be a daisy.
.
Would you rather sleep all day or stay up all night?
-That pretty accurately describes my twenties, so the answer is yes.

Okay, well, I’m glad we took that journey together. It feels good to get things out in the open, and hopefully create a real bond with my readers. See you all next week for more MonDAVES!

Oh, and by the way, if you want to check out the original list from “Happy Toddler Time”, here’s the link:

101 Would You Rather Questions for Kids

Most Important Ranking Ever.

Regular readers know that I enjoy writing posts that are lists, and I also enjoy ranking different items. Shoot, I even guest on my brother’s podcast regularly where we rank stuff together in special episodes called The Fab 15.” Here is a link to the most recent one: http://emptychecking.blogspot.com/2023/01/episode-143-fab-15-cover-songs.html

Most of the time, my rankings are pop culture related. You know, movies, music, etc. Occasionally though, I feel the need to step it up a notch and do a ranking of something important, something that will be of use to everyone and viewed as a public service to all.

In that spirit, MonDAVEs proudly presents the ultimate, absolutely definitive, and certainly not totally random and made up on the spot ranking of the months of the year. Yes, yes, I know. You’re welcome.

May- May is the best month, hands down. It’s not too cold or hot (well, not until the last week or so), and it is a beautiful month. Spring has sprung, but the Summer heat has not quite yet shown up. It’s pretty darn perfect all round.
December- On the flip side of things, December is a close second. It can be quite cold and snowy, but it does include the year’s major holidays. It’s also a dark month which would normally be a bad thing, but it gives us extra time to enjoy all the pretty decorations so that’s a win.
July- Summer in all its glory. Pool parties, cookouts, the works. Also, ‘Merica.
September- Pleasant month, right? Summer starts dying down, temperatures begin to come down a little, but Autumn is not quite ready to enter the scene, although a few leaves may start turning early just for fun. September kinda feels like a second Spring in some ways, and I’m down with that.
November- Thanksgiving month-truly one of the greatest American holidays! November’s weather can be unpredictable but you’re sure to be able to take a walk through the fallen leaves and get you some Apple cider to drink, and that ain’t half bad.
April-Spring begins, but it also brings the rains, and in my part of the country, tornado season begins. Oh, and taxes are due too. The outdoors starts greening up though so that’s nice. Overall April a pretty mid month. Which is why it’s smack dab in the center of my list.
October- Autumn really picks up here, the leaves are usually at peak color change in the beginning of the month and it can be quite beautiful. Trouble is, that beauty is balanced out by like, way too many fake spider decorations, and ghosts and monsters and stuff. I mean sure, Halloween can be fun, but it’s a weird ending to such a pretty month. Weather’s usually not too bad though.
June-The beginning of Summer, so it’s fun and exciting at first, but June has no major holidays or anything and is really just a placeholder until July shows up.
March-Okay, so March has got St. Patrick’s Day in it, and that is one of my favorite days (or weeks if you do it right) of the year so I do love that. However, the weather is completely unpredictable. March can go from pleasant to freezing all in one day. Sometimes more than once. Also. that whole “in like a lion, out like a lamb” thing? Hardly. Often those two ideas will switch around. My problem with March is that it doesn’t quire know what it wants to be. Get yer crap together March, and maybe you can move up a few spaces.
February- Just kind of a nothing month. Whatever.
August- Part of my beloved Summer, but to a fault. It just gets too danged hot sometimes. It also tends to feel a lot longer than it is. As much as I’d like to move it up the ranks a bit, I simply cannot justify doing so. Sorry.
January- What a trash month. Granted, it has the unfortunate task of following up October, November, and December with all their holidays and merriment so it’s bound to be a little disappointing, but January excels at being disappointing. It’s cold, dark, gray, long. lifeless, and it just plain stinks all around. Seriously, it’s garbage.

There you have it. Possibly the most important and scientifically accurate ranking of all time. Join me next week for more great stuff.

Cool Stuff You Never Needed To Know But Will Probably Use At Your Next Party During A Lull In Conversation

Craving some useless knowledge? I got you, fam. Here are some weird, random, and interesting factoids courtesy of MonDAVEs, the world wide web, and my son’s random fact a day calendar.

-The height of the Eiffel Tower changes depending on the season. It can be up to six inches shorter in winter due to changing temperatures.

-Millions of years ago, in South America, there were giant armadillo-like creatures the size of Volkswagen Beetles.

-Dateline: April 11th, 1954. Nothing happened. No major events were recorded at all, anywhere, making it officially the most boring day in history. Which is actually pretty interesting, now that I think about it. So, I guess that’s not boring anymore. Kinda defeats the purpose. Sorry.

-During World War II, Great Britain came up with what was known as Operation Vegetarian. The plan was to poison Germany’s cattle by dropping linseed cakes laced with anthrax from the sky. The cakes were never actually used, but five million of them were produced.

-Okay so, at one time, and I swear I’m not making this up, Mattel sold a doll called “Growing Up Skipper” that, when you turned her arm, got taller and her breasts got larger.

-Baby puffins are called “pufflings” which is the cutest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

-There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

-A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time. It is 1/100th of a second. So if anyone tells you they’ll do something “in a jiffy” they are either a liar or The Flash.

-A group of bunnies is called a “fluffle” which is the second cutest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

-In 1386 in Falaise, in Northern France, a sow was publicly executed. The pig had attacked a young child, who died from the injuries. The pig was put on trial with full legal representation. The pig was found guilty, and on the day was led into the town square dressed in a man’s clothes, and hung.

Well, there you are. You never know what you’re going to read here next, do ya? I sure don’t. Come back next week and be as surprised as I am for more MonDAVEs!