Nostalgia November Part 4: Holiday Edition

Thanksgiving has come and gone, hopefully you all enjoyed your holiday as much as I enjoyed mine. This means that the Christmas season is underway. With that in mind, let’s step into the Wayback Machine one more time and look at Christmas through the eyes of a Gen X kid.

For us Gen Xers, Christmas began as early as September when the Sears Catalog/Wish Book was published. We’d spend an afternoon poring over every entry, reading the descriptions, gazing at the pictures, and fantasizing about the wonders that could be waiting for us under the tree. We’d go through the book circling the items that we most wanted for Christmas that year. I’m not sure about you, but I’d always pad it out a little and circle a few more things than I really needed just in case the good stuff was sold out or deemed too expensive. Funny how I never circled any clothing, but some seemed to show up most years anyway.

Nowadays there aren’t too many catalogs that come out, since everything (including wish lists) has moved to an online experience, but there are still a few. Some department stores still send out toy catalog mailers too, but none have the immensity of the old Sears catalog-those things were massive!-or the sense of anticipation found in the Wish Book and its plethora of toys.

Oh, and what toys we had! While toys had been big business for years, it seemed as though the market exploded during the late 1970s through the mid 1980s. Most of us boys started with our Star Wars figures housed in collector cases (the one shaped like Darth Vader being the coolest), along with ships like the X Wing and Tie fighters, various playsets recalling scenes from the movies (I particularly liked the Hoth playset), and the ultimate in the Kenner brand Star Wars toys: The Millennium Falcon! We would not only recreate our favorite scenes, but make up our own stories too. This is before VHS home video recorders were a thing, and long before the Trilogy was released to home video, so our memories and imagination were at the forefront of our games that took place in a galaxy far, far away.

Soon more toy lines followed. One very popular line was He-Man and the Masters Of The Universe. Everybody had to have their own He-Man, Skeletor, and if you were lucky, your own Castle Grayskull, in which the forces of good and evil would battle. The G.I. Joe toy line was very popular as well, with their large cast of characters (Cobra Commander ruled!), and multiple military inspired vehicles enabling kids to carry out victories over the bad guys.

Also, don’t forget that the Transformers appeared during this time period as well. Some of these toys were easy to transform from every day object into robot, others were quite tricky. All of them were awesome. “More than meets the eye” indeed.

These were followed by the last great boy’s toy line of our generation: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Though a far cry from their beginnings as a gritty, black and white comic book, the Turtles became a brightly colored, catch-phrase spewing, awesome-theme-song-having phenomenon that is still going today. These toys may have been aimed at boys, but plenty of little girls enjoyed their adventures too.

Speaking of, toys aimed at girls were huge business too. Cabbage Patch Kids caused literal riots when they were released in stores. Each kid was “adoptable” and came with an adoption certificate. While still in production today, the height of popularity for these dolls was 1983-1986, when grown adults would literally fight each other in stores to grab one of these dolls to put under the tee for their children.

Apart from the ever present Barbie, other popular toy lines included My Little Pony which featured multiple pony dolls in different colors with “cutie marks” related to their name and personalities. Strawberry Shortcake was another. These dolls all had names based on, um, desserts (Strawberry Shortcake, Blueberry Muffin, Apple Dumplin’, etc.), and were scented to smell like their namesakes. I don’t know how this process worked, but those things retained their smell for years. Similar lines included Care Bears, Pound Puppies, and Polly Pocket.

Then there were the toys aimed at everyone. The popular puzzle that was the Rubik’s Cube, for example. Maybe you’d like to play with a slinky for a while, or some Silly Putty? How about sharpening your artistic skills with a Lite Brite, Etch-A-Sketch, or Spirograph? Maybe a talking doll is more your thing. Talking versions of Alf, Pee Wee Herman, and Steve Urkel were popular gift items back then too. Don’t forget about the more traditional fare like Easy Bake Ovens, Legos, and Play-Dough.

Kids always loved getting a new vehicle for Christmas as well. No, I’m not referring to the Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars we collected, or even remote control cars, although they were pretty cool. I mean ones we could operate ourselves. Before motorized Power Wheels came along, our generation went from our Big Wheels to Huffy bikes and then Schwinns. It was always a treat to find one of these under the tree with your name on it.

Then there were the electronics. In the really early days, we had handheld games that were self contained, and generally consisted of blinking lights and sound effects. Then the home video game systems appeared. We saw the beginning of it all, from the original Pong, to the Atari 2600 (everyone’s favorite at the time), Intellivision, ColecoVision, and then on to the original Nintendo NES, and Sega consoles. If you really had it good, you had a Commodore 64 computer. I mostly used mine for playing a strategy game called “Hunt The Wumpus” which still haunts my dreams to this day.

This is but a small sample of the numerous options open to us kids when the big day rolled around. There were plenty more, trust me, everything from traditional toys our parents had to now long forgotten toys languishing in obscurity. Certainly we all have favorites not on this list. The ones I have chosen to highlight were the ones that were highly popular, and mostly still exist in one form or another today.

Okay, so, it’s Christmas morning. Everything goes by in a blur. How are you going to document this moment for posterity? There were no cell phones with a camera and recorder in everybody’s pocket. You had to actually be ready with your tool of choice, and the batteries it needed. Early home video cameras were bulky, expensive things that most people didn’t have access to. Well, at least not until the 90’s when we were all trying to get on America’s Funniest Home Videos.

Back then, every house had at least one camera. Some were high quality cameras for the amateur photographer, but most were Kodak brand, generally the Instamatic which was an inexpensive point and shoot camera. These were immensely popular, as were the scores of imitators that came along after. Still, these cameras all had actual film in them that needed to be developed later on. You had to wait sometimes for weeks to see your pictures and figure out who’s photo you were looking at since there were usually a few shots of fingers blocking the lens, or pictures of people missing heads due to the view finder being well off from the actual lens.

Enter the Polaroid. These cameras took a picture, and then spit it out to you instantaneously. It took a moment to develop, but you got your pics right away. They didn’t always last as long as a “real” photo, and many have yellowed or flat out disappeared with age. At the time, though, everyone wanted one of these. Often, people got cameras as gifts for Christmas, and there are many pictures of people receiving cameras as gifts, which was as meta as it got back then.

I have posted on MonDAVEs before about some of the Christmas specials from my childhood, and about movies, music, and other memories on an old blog that may or may not still exist. So I won’t go into much detail here about that aspect here. I could go on and on about Christmas related activities back in the day, but that’s for another time. Maybe we’ll revisit that stuff soon.

When it comes to Christmas in the 1980’s, I will simply leave you with this. No matter who you are, no matter your political affiliation, or how you feel about the people involved, nothing says “Christmas in the ’80s” like the picture of Nancy Reagan sitting on the lap of Santa Claus, who just so happens to be none other than Mr.T dressed in his own version of a Santa suit. If that ain’t Christmas, I don’t know what is.

See you next time, when I’ll try to bring it back into the present. Ha! Present! Christmas! See what I did there? As Alf would say, “I kill me!”

Back next week for more MonDAVEs.

Nostalgia November Part 3: Restaurant Edition

Welcome back to Nostalgia November.

Thanksgiving is almost upon us. This coming ThursDAVE, err…sorry, Thursday, most Americans will sit down with family and friends for a feast of epic proportions. While many will have a home made meal, there are several who will prefer to go out to eat. This got me thinking about the restaurants and fast food joints of my youth that are no more.

So let’s go back in time, pull up a chair, place an order, and spend some time together in the fine eateries of yesteryear.

Rax
Remember Rax? Remember the theme song? “I’d rather Rax, rather Rax, rather Rax, wouldn’t you?” Eh, it sings better than it reads.

Anyway, for those who may not remember, Rax was a roast beef sandwich place that dared to take on Arby’s and Lion’s Choice. For a short period there in the 1980’s it actually seemed that they might do just that. Not only were there delicious sandwiches, Rax also featured burgers, baked potatoes, and endless salad bar, and a dessert bar. At one point, they even had a taco bar if memory serves.

The inside of the restaurants were a little bit upscale for fast food as well, with a solarium (fancy word for sunroom) featuring multiple potted plants to add atmosphere, along with wood elements in the dining rooms. The idea was to bring a little style and class(?) to the experience of dining at Rax.

Unfortunately all this experimentation wound up being too much for most consumers as the focus of the restaurants became less clear. This also brought about price increases, or at least the perception of them, and middle class families began to stay away. A last ditch marketing effort featuring the bizarre animated character “Mr. Delicious” pretty much helped seal the fate of the chain.

As I type this there are still a few locations open, less than ten at last count, which is a far cry from their peak of 504 locations in the 1980s.

I used to love Rax, and would eat there any chance I got. I always felt that their roast beef sandwiches were the best. If I ever stumble upon one of the few remaining locations I am definitely stopping in, but for now I will keep my memories of this favorite fast food place.

Burger Chef
Another fast food blast from the past is burger Chef. This was a burger chain that was quite popular in the 1970s, in fact being second only to McDonalds in number of locations by 1972. This was the year that Burger Chef introduced the “FunMeal”, the industry’s first meal aimed at kids. McDonald’s Happy Meals appeared in 1979. Burger Chef sued over this, but lost. This, along with expansion into Australia that bombed, was the beginning of the end for Burger Chef. The chain, owned at that point by General Foods, sold to Hardee’s in 1982, who began to switch many locations over to Hardee’s restaurants, or just close them down. By 1996 the chain was no more.

It’s a shame that such a popular chain should go down that way. I was a youngster when our local Burger Chef closed, but I remember their mascots, Burger Chef and Jeff, and eating there on multiple occasions. I used to love going, and I remember being kind of sad and missing it when they closed Burger Chef down. A Hardee’s did replace that location eventually, though I think that became a donut shop after a while. Anyway, I’d like the chance to go back and grab a Big Shef burger, or even the FunMeal (so I can keep up with the adventures of Burger Chef, Jeff, Fangburger, Burgerini and the gang, and get my toy-seriously how did they lose this lawsuit?) and I’m sure I am not the only one.

Bonanza/Ponderosa Steak House
These were buffet restaurants that featured a salad/desert/food bar, and individual entrees. They both made their claim on the steaks, which were passable, but the buffets were the main attraction. I’m a sucker for a good buffet, or even an average one, come to think of it, and it’s because of extended family dinners at these restaurants.

So at this point you’re probably expecting a compare and contrast section between the two, or at least an explanation for why I grouped them together. Well, the two are so similar that, other than appearance and décor, there’s nothing much to compare or contrast, so there goes that option. My grouping however, does have a legitimate reason.

Although two different companies initially, Bonanza and Ponderosa merged in 1988. So not only were they similar, they became basically the same entity, which is why you could have one of each in your town and nobody thought twice about it. Unlike the whole Hardee’s/Carl’s Jr. thing, these two names were allowed to live on simultaneously. After a decline in popularity for buffets in general, a total of less than 25 locations remain in the U.S.

Fun fact: Bonanza steak house was started by “Hoss Cartwright” himself, actor Don Blocker, who starred on the hit TV show Bonanza, which was set at Ponderosa Ranch. Sometimes things are just meant to be, I reckon.

Hot Sam
Dude.

Hot Sam was THE pretzel place in the mall. No trip to Jamestown Mall was complete for me without a stop at Hot Sam for hot, soft, Bavarian style pretzels. No offense to Auntie Anne, I’m sure she’s a lovely person, and she makes a good product, but Hot Sam was the best. They even had a cool little pretzel maker guy as their logo. The titular Sam, one would imagine.

Hot Sam was a mall staple throughout the U.S., eventually being acquired by Mrs. Fields foods in 1995 and merged it with another soft pretzel company they owned called Pretzel Time. Eagle eyed viewers of Stranger Things may notice a Hot Sam location recreated for the show’s scenes in the local mall. Notice it’s Hot Sam, not Pretzel Time that gets the shout out. As it should be.

Okay, I have to stop now. I could go on, but this is making me hungry and I keep snacking every time I get to a stopping point. Not good. I need some room in my belly for Thursday.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. See you next week for more MonDAVEs.

Nostalgia November Part 2

It’s time to step into the Wayback Machine and reminisce about the way things were back when I was younger. I am a Gen Xer, born right smack dab in the middle of the years that make up our generation. This is somewhat interesting in and of itself, because it means that I am not quite as frustrated, angsty, and anxiety-ridden as those who followed me, and not as easy going and responsible as those who came before. Still, we are all one generation and have many of the same shared memories, experiences, and cultural touchstones. These are some of the items I’ll be discussing today. So let’s go spend some time hanging out in the 1970s, 1980s, and early 1990s. Grab your Walkman, get on your Huffy bike, and come along.

Let’s start our trip the way we started our weekends, with:
Saturday Morning Cartoons
-Before cable TV, before streaming, before VCRs, before on-demand-anything, it was mighty hard to find programs tailored to kids. Sure, there were some PBS shows available, but once you realized you were actually learning stuff these shows got a little bit less attractive to your average kids. You may find the occasional cartoons on local UHF stations (remember when THAT was a thing?) but by and large, programming for young people was pretty rare. Except for Saturday mornings.

Every Saturday, all the major broadcast stations-ALL THREE of them!-devoted the entire morning to cartoons. During this time we watched everything we could get our eyes on. Remember watching the classic Hanna-Barbara (Laff-A-Lympics and Captain Caveman being personal favorites) and Looney Tunes? Sccoby-Doo? Or maybe you were more into the Smurfs, or their underwater cousins, the Snorks. How about Mr. T’s cartoon adventures? Super Friends? Hulk Hogan’s Rock and Wrestling? How’s about Strawberry Shortcake or Rainbow Brite? Maybe you came along a little later and Pee Wee Herman dominated your Saturday mornings-along with the likes of Freakazoid and Earthworm Jim. Whatever your preference, those three hours of programming were sacred to kid-dom. Ooh, Kidd Video, there’s a blast from the past.

So important were these precious hours that we also had favorite PSAs. Anybody hankerin’ for a hunk of cheese round about now? Feel like taking a trip to Conjunction Junction, maybe? Remember, only you can prevent forest fires and take a bite out of crime. Well, “the more you know”…anyway, let’s move on.

Actually though, while we’re on the topic of television, remember when…
Spoilers were a good thing?
-Oh, yeah. Nowadays people try to avoid spoilers like the plague and will be angry with someone who lets slip even the slightest detail about a show they’ve been streaming. Back in the time before, however, television was a see-it-live event. Not that the shows themselves were live, mind you, but most shows were generally only aired once. If you missed the program, that was it, you were out of luck. Maybe you could catch it on a rerun later, but there were no guarantees. A pretty standard conversation would have gone along the lines of, “Hey did you see such-and-such show the other day?” “No, what did I miss?” People actually wanted to know!

Usually at this point your friend would go into a story or description that was either incomplete, poorly interpreted, or just half made-up, but you’d get the idea and be ready for next week’s episode. VCRs did come along and help this problem a little bit, but you actually had to remember to set them to record your show, which sounds simple enough. Sometimes though, you’d forget, or set the time wrong or, worse, there’d be some sort of delay due to weather information or a breaking news story and you’d miss most of the show anyway. Which was too bad, because according to the TV Guide magazine (which everybody got, read, and planned their evenings around) it was going to be a good one.

So, not only has television come a long way, but so have telephones.
-Remember back when everyone had a landline, and there were only two or maybe three phones in the house? One in the kitchen or family room, one in the basement and maybe the master bedroom, that was about it. They all had cords too, which would inevitably become a tangled mess from people pacing around while they spoke. After a while the phones became cordless, and easier to afford so they could be put into more rooms. Call waiting came along where we could have two lines in the house and put people on hold, just like at the office!

Also, anybody remember actually having to pay for long distance (non regional) calls? You’d only make those calls at night or on weekends because the rates were cheaper. At one point, people were buying pre-paid “calling cards” to use at payphones in case of emergencies, or to make long distance a little easier.

What’s that? Oh, payphones, right. They used to be everywhere. I think some may still exist but very few since we all carry a phone in our pocket now. Kinda makes me wonder how Clark Kent changes into Superman these days. Anyway.

One more thing about phones. Remember calling Time and Temperature? You’d actually call a hotline type number to get the time (because, um, you were in a clockless void, maybe?) or the temperature for the day, because you’d missed the morning news and needed to know what to expect out there. I hear tell this still exists, too, but who uses it?

Something else that used to be everywhere…
Arcade Games
-They weren’t just for the arcades, although it seemed like every neighborhood had at least one. Arcade games were at your local 7-11, K-Mart, Pizza Hut (among other restaurants), the mall, pretty much anywhere a kid or teenager with a few spare quarters might be found. These games were addicting-and big business. Since we all had “Pac Man fever” at one point, putting a few of them in your lobby or back room was almost a no brainer for any pop culture savvy businessperson. bonus points to the reader if you not only remember but sang a few lines of the “Pac Man Fever” song.

Finally, since we’re on he topic of technology, let’s talk about cars. Do you remember having to actually Roll Down Your Windows?
-I mean, it seems like a small thing, but the automated window was like freakin’ magic when it came out. Before that you had to crank the windows up or down. Some of them were kinda heavy, especially if you were trying to protect yourself from a sudden storm. Okay, so there have been a lot more leaps forward in the automobile world, in comfort, performance, and technology. The window thing, though, is hands down the most important.

Okay, that’s all for this week. Come back next MonDAVE and we’ll talk some more. I won’t even charge you long distance.

Nostalgia November Part One: The Jingles

Greetings all, and welcome to “Nostalgia November” here on the blog. With the end of the year approaching sooner than any of us are prepared for, it’s about that time when sentimentality kicks in, and we all begin to reflect on times past. With that spirit in mind, I have decided to dedicate this month’s posts to celebrating the moments and memories of yesteryear. I believe there is no finer way to kick things off than with this weeks topic:

The All Time Great Commercial Jingles

Remember the jingle? There was a time when nearly every product had a jingle written specifically for that product. It seems as though there has been a turning away from the traditional jingle in the modern age. Many advertisers now use popular or classic pop/rock songs to sell their wares. While there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that, it sometimes makes a person wonder what in the world these songs have to do with the advertised product.

Now, to be fair, there are still a few jingles out there. They haven’t gone away entirely but there are far fewer than in years past. Also, honestly, most of the newer ones kinda suck. I mean, sure, it’s memorable but…”Ba da ba ba ba… I’m lovin’ it” is just not very good. It’s lazy. That sounds like somebody was trying to come up with some actual words and just failed to do so, but time ran out so they went with it. Along those same lines, “Nationwide is on your side” is not so much a jingle as a sentence. Which is not to say there weren’t some stinkers back in the day too. “Soup is good food” is a masterclass in laziness as well. But hey, they can’t all be bangers.

Anyway, I’m not here to rag on new stuff (much), but to celebrate the old stuff. So I’m going to run through a big ol’ list of some of the most memorable jingles of years gone by. This is basically a playlist without music, because you shouldn’t need any-most of these jingles should be lodged somewhere in your noggin just waiting to come out. So, fair warning, you WILL be singing these for the next few days. Ready? Lets’ roll.

Remember these?

-“I am stuck on Band Aid, ’cause Band Aid’s stuck on me”
-“I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys R Us Kid”
-“Give me a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that KitKat bar”
-“I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, I’d like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company”
-“The best part of waking up is Foldger’s in your cup”
-“Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, special orders don’t upset us” (Burger King)
-“Hot dogs. Armour Hotdogs. what kind of kids eat Armour hot dogs?”
-“You deserve a break today at McDonalds”
-“Plop-Plop! Fizz-Fizz! Oh, what a relief it is!”
-“I’m a Pepper, He’s a Pepper, She’s a Pepper, We’re all Peppers, wouldn’t you like to be a Pepper too?”
-“I want my baby back, baby back, baby back…”
-“Oh I wish I was An Oscar Meyer Weiner”
-“My Buddy, My Buddy, wherever I go he goes…” (interchangeable with Kid Sister)
-“Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun”
-“That Big Red freshness lasts right through it, your fresh breath goes on and on…while you chew it”
-“If you’ve got the time, we’ve got the beer”
-“Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t”
-“What would you do-oo-oo for a Klondike bar?”
-“Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat”
-“For all you do, this Bud’s for you”
-“When you chew with Extra the extra fresh flavor lasts an extra, extra, extra long time”
-“Whatever it is I think I see becomes a Tootsie Roll to me”
-“Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet…”
-“Coast…the scent opens your eyes…”
“It doesn’t matter what comes, fresh goes better with life, with Mentos, fresh and full of life”
“Just for the thrill of it, just for the ahhh…just for the taste of it-Diet Coke!”
-“Juicy Fruit is gonna move ya!”
-“Dew it to it-Mountain Dew”
-“My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R…”
-“Clap on! Clap off!”

Admit it, not only did you sing along with most of these, but you finished the whole dang song didn’t you? It’s okay, we’re all friends here. I’ve been singing them too. There are many, many more examples, but this is a pretty good list. If you really want to deep dive though, all of these and more are available to view on YouTube. Just be aware that once you start viewing this stuff you may well be up into the wee hours watching old commercials you used to skip through when rewatching your favorite shows on your home made VHS tapes. But you’ll definitely be lovin’ it.

Okay folks, that’s it for this week. Back soon with more stuff.

English Is Lit

As has been discussed on this blog before, I love the English language. It’s weird, unnecessarily complex, and is an ever evolving entity. In short, it’s a mess, and I am a big fan.

I don’t want to get too pedantic here, or discuss college English major type stuff, but as an example of the absolute off the charts weirdness of the language let’s talk about a single word: lit. “Lit” is a verb, and most often used as the past tense of the word “light”. For example, “the room was lit by candlelight.” or, “Jennifer lit her cigarette.” However, it can also be used to mean something is exciting, impressive, or very good, like someone saying that the “party was lit”. Incidentally, the word can also be used in future tense, as in the party “is gonna be lit”, which is a presumptuous statement, but still an interesting evolution. Other uses for the word include as an abbreviation for the word “literature”, and as slang for a drunkard, i.e. “Josh is all lit up again.”

Just the other day, I accidentally referred to something as being “litted” which isn’t a word and was a slip of the tongue, but I kind of like the word and may start using anyway. “Litted” is a word that is the past tense of a word that is in the past tense. You just have to use it correctly. I would not say, for example, “The party’s going to be lit!” Instead I would say something more along the lines of “This party is going to have been litted!” I believe that is a future-past past participle, but maybe we shouldn’t get too hung up on it.

Anyway, English is super weird. Here are some more weird facts about the English language for you to enjoy.

-The alphabet was not written in alphabetical order. In fact the last letter added was “J.”
-There are no states featuring the letter “Q.”
-The shortest word in the English language is “I.”
-William Shakespeare added 1,700 words to the English language in his lifetime. So far I only have “litted.”
-There are more people in the world who have learned English as a second language than there are native English speakers. In fact, more people in China speak English than in the U.S.
-The shortest grammatically correct (non fragment) sentence in the English language is “Go.” It has the implied subject of “you”, and is what is known as an “imperative sentence.” There are those that would argue that “Go” is cheating since the subject is implied, and would claim the shortest sentence as “I am.” I would claim that these people are no fun.
-The word meaning “the day after tomorrow” is “overmorrow” which is a lovely word that no one ever uses.
-English is not the official language of the United States. We don’t have one. So there’s still hope for all those Trekkies who learned Klingon, I suppose.
-The little dot above the lowercase “i” and “j” is called a “tittle.” Which means that the word “title” includes a “tittle” and that makes me happy for some reason.
-The word “goodbye” comes from an Old English phrase meaning “God be with you”.

I think that’s a good place to stop. See you next time for another enlightening (enlittening?) edition of MonDAVEs.

Hey, wait, I made up the word MonDAVEs too. HA! That’s two words! Take that Shakespeare! I’m coming for your record…