Okay. Let’s Talk About It.

Can we talk a moment, you and I? You all know I try to keep things light around here, but sometimes it’s necessary to get serious. I promise to stay as respectful as I can and try to tone down the snark. I know, it scares me too, but here we go.

There’s been a lot of talk about the Olympics this weekend. Well, more about the opening ceremony, really. I’m going to touch on that, but there’s something bigger involved here. Bear with me, and we’ll get there.

We all are entitled to our own opinions, of course, but this whole situation has gotten out of control. There are a lot of people out there, many of whom I love, who seem to have been caught up in what can only be classified as a fabricated controversy. Please keep reading, I can explain. Indulge me here.

Many of my fellow Christians are upset by what they have interpreted as a “mocking of God” and Leonardo Da Vinci’s painting of The Last Supper. The claim is that the painting was recreated using Drag Queens.

Others have argued that the reference was not to that painting, but the Baccanaal, which is a part of Greek cultural history, this being the Olympics and all. These people claim that the painting referenced is “The Feast Of The Gods” by Jan Harmensz van Biljert.

Here’s the thing, though. According to the actual director of the piece, and I am always one to take the creator of an artistic piece at their word, it’s not directly tied to either painting. The party was meant to celebrate togetherness and inclusivity.

Anyone who actually watched the ceremony (and I wonder how many of the enraged did) would have seen models of all races, sizes, genders, and abilities walking down the runway of the fashion show (not a supper or feast, mind you) in the spirit of love and inclusivity intended.

Which is where my confusion sets in. I watched the ceremony and thoroughly enjoyed it. The Last Supper never entered my mind, and I truly believe it was just the camera angle and pan out that set this all off. One shot of a fashion runway which then zoomed out to show people on both sides. So, no table, just a runway.

I’m thinking maybe some people got carried away here.

Okay, my Christian sisters and brothers, I love you, but we need to talk. If this blog is a bottle, here comes the message. I say this with love. Tough love, but love nonetheless.

This is why people hate us. This is why people run from the church and not to it.

Some of y’all have nothing better to do than to make up things to be angry about. Many of you reacted to this whole kerfuffle without taking time to research the cultural touch points, reasoning, or intentions of what you saw. My guess is that a lot of you were triggered by a social media post and just went off from there.

You know, if we as Christians (and I include myself in this) spent more time caring for “the least of these”-feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, housing the homeless, seeking justice for the oppressed, welcoming the stranger, etc., the world would see that and the pews would be full every Sunday. Because we’d be doing Jesus stuff.

But do you know what they saw instead? Hate. Prejudice. Self superiority and a “holy” righteousness that does not invite others in to know Christ, but pushes them away. It turns people off, guys.

And you know what? It turns me off, too.

I had a pit in my stomach all weekend over this whole thing. It hurts my head and my heart. Jesus is about love. God is about love. I haven’t seen any of that in the posts I’ve been reading or rhetoric I’m hearing. The problem is that this is not an isolated incident.

Guys, I am embarrassed to tell people I’m a Christian. I don’t know how to reconcile the message of love with the culture of hate and prejudice. I don’t know how we can say that God is the only judge and then judge people based on their gender, sexuality, race, or anything else. I mean, I kinda don’t want to be involved anymore. That’s how bad it’s gotten. I feel like giving up.

But… God has his ways, doesn’t he? This morning, I opened my drawer full of t-shirts and saw this one on top. I bought it from The Chritian Left website a while back. I also may or may not have been responsible for the design due to my suggestions on a Facebook post.

Anyway. It reminded me that I have some Christian friends who feel the same way I do and that I am not alone. I’ve found a church that is both inclusive and biblically sound. There are other Christians out there who are horrified at the thought that we would turn away any of God’s children from our door. It’s not just me. And that gives me just enough strength and hope to keep on the path.

I know I’ve stepped on some toes here, but it’s my hope that providing an often overlooked perspective may do some good, or at least get others thinking about the way we represent ourselves and how we deal with the outside world.

Oh, and if you think it’s a reach to say that Christians got carried away by all of this stuff and are looking for something to be angry about, remember this. The same day that the ceremony aired, an ex-president and current candidate told a group of conservative Christians that if they voted for him, they’d “never have to vote again.” The man just threatened to take away our right to vote and implied that he’d set himself up as dictator for life. But sure, let’s get mad about art. That’s clearly where the conversation should be, right?

Okay, that was snarky, but it wouldn’t be a MonDaves without a little snark, and I’ve been really good the whole time!

Thanks for indulging me and taking the time to read this through. You’re one of the good ones. See you next time.

A Blessed Sunday

Last night the family went to a special “Blessing Of The Animals” service at the church we currently attend. For those unaware of this type of service, it’s exactly what it sounds like. The service is held on the front lawn, and anyone who wants to attend brings their pet, and the pet is blessed by one of the pastors in the church. It’s a cute idea, and an excuse to show off your pet to everyone in attendance, while also getting to meet and greet a bunch of new animals too.

Here are a few highlights:

My daughter Melody read from scripture. Genesis 1. She was excellent at it, although she accidentally pulled the mike out of its stand when she went to adjust it to her height. She couldn’t get it back in, so she just went ahead and rolled with it like the pro she is. None of the other speakers put it back either. So not only is Mel an excellent orator, but she’s also a trend setter.

Her brother just walked around and pet every dog, and ate the free snacks. The human snacks, obviously, not the dog ones.

We brought our dog, Zoey, who was very well behaved. Zoey is one of those dogs who’s just happy to be included, whatever the event. She was very friendly to all who met her, though not too friendly-no jumping or excessive licking, which was nice. She is a very docile, sweet, loving girl, and I was very proud of her. I mean, she did do a rather large poo right in front of the lead pastor, but what are you gonna do?

We also brought along Leah, our turtle. She arrived in a smaller version of her cage, with bedding and everything. It would have been funny to bring her on a leash, but it would have been uncomfortable for her and I’m not potentially hurting an animal for the sake of a joke. Anyway, she didn’t need the leash, Leah got a lot of attention on her own. It turns out turtles aren’t very common and everyone wanted to meet her and ask us questions. She was a hit!

Obviously, since we brought our turtle, there were no rules about what kind of animal you could bring, and wouldn’t you know it, someone took it too far. Somebody brought a big, hairy, grey spider. It was in a special plastic container, but still. They brought a big, hairy, scary-ass spider into the House of The Lord!!! Satan is real, y’all, that’s all I can say.

Toward the end of the evening, after the service proper but while everyone was still milling about and being social, Old Man Cat In A Basket showed up. I call him that because I don’t know his name, but he was an old guy who brought along his cat in a large whicker basket. Therefore, I will from here on out refer to him only as Old Man Cat In A Basket. Even if I do learn his name.

Everyone else brought a picture of their cat (like we did with Pepper), since events like this aren’t exactly made for kitties. Not this dude. He came strutting up, confident as anything, with his orange cat Sparky (you guys-the cat’s name is Sparky!!! I know! Adorbs!) ready to receive the blessing and totally owning the moment. Now, I know absolutely nothing about Old Man Cat In A Basket and Sparky, but I can guarantee there’s a heart warming film somewhere in that story. Somebody get Hollywood on the phone. Now.

Anyway, it was a nice thing for the church to do, a good community builder, and a pleasant way to spend one of the last Sunday evenings before the weather begins to turn. I hope you all had a great Sunday too, and that you’ll meet me back here next Monday for whatever it is I’m going to do then.

Safe Home

Over the past few weeks, we have been interacting more with our kids’ friends. There have been a few school functions and some birthday get togethers here at the house that have helped us get to know the kids our kids are hanging out with. Our kids are a bit of an eclectic group, and their friends even more so.

All of our children are teenagers now, so we are entering a season of new experiences as parents. Unlike some parents, we haven’t forgotten what the teenage years are like. You see, my wife is a teacher and therefore constantly around young people, and I have resisted adulthood as much as possible. Therefore I think we may be a little more in touch with the teenage experience than some other parents, many of whom seem to get old before their time. This is not a judgement, just an observation that may or my not be all in my head.

Anyway, these kids are all in the beginning stages of figuring out who they are, where they belong, and how they function in the world. We’ve met a lot of people lately, and been able to put faces to names from the stories our kids tell which is nice. We have met pretty much every category of kid you can imagine.

While we have met plenty of your average boy or girl next door types, there have been others too. We have met church kids, and non church kids, with multiple religions being represented (or not). We have met kids who are highly autistic and those who have other special needs. We’ve met popular kids, nerds, and misfits. We have met gay kids. We have met transgender kids. We’ve met kids of different ethnicities.

Here’s the thing though, none of these kids are categories. They are people. Each one is different, special, and in need of the same love and respect as everyone else. This is where we come in.

It’s a big world out there, and there are a lot of angry people in it. Some of these kids we’ve been introduced to will go out into it and be okay. Some won’t. The troubling fact is that many of these people will be targeted and discriminated against because of who they are. Not because of what they do or say, but because they exist in their own identity. Let’s get uncomfortable for a minute.

We all know racial discrimination is on the rise here in America and elsewhere. This is incredibly stupid and dangerous. No one asks to be born any particular color or race, you are as God made you. You are a combination of your parents. Not your fault. Also not your fault that others judge entire races based on stereotypes and incorrect assumptions, or the extreme acts of a few. This should not be allowed in any civilized society and it certainly will not be tolerated in our home.

There is also, somehow, still a bias against people on the autism spectrum. While we as a society have made great leaps in understanding autism and mental health as a whole, there are still those who would belittle others due to their differences. Special needs folks are marginalized, insulted, pushed aside and undervalued by many. Instead of lending a hand and discovering the greatness that lies in every human being, these people are written off or just plain ignored. Not by us.

How about LGBTQIA+ kids? Some of these kids have been aware of their sexuality from an early age. Some are just now beginning to come to grips with it. The same goes for transgender youth. Well, not only youth, but adults too. I know full grown adults who are still wrestling with their own identities well into middle age. I know gay and bisexual adults who have never come out to their parents for fear of how they will react and what it will do to the family unit, not to mention their own social standing. If this is all so difficult for adults, imagine what kids must be going through.

Much is made of the suicide rates among LGBTQIA+ teens. It is estimated that these kids are more than four times more likely to attempt suicide as their peers, and the numbers are higher among youths of color. I hope we can all realize and agree that these young people aren’t thinking of suicide because they are gay/bi/trans/asexual/whatever. It’s because of how stigmatized they are, and the hatred, bigotry, slander, and abuse they are met with on a regular basis-not only from strangers, but from the people who are supposed to protect them in their schools and communities and often, sadly, from the families they love.

Being a teen is hard enough, and a lot of these kids have the potential to live a much harder life than their peers. They don’t need fixing. They don’t need to be shown their place. They need to be treated with respect and shown kindness. They deserve an environment that encourages them to be comfortable with who they are, even if they’re not sure who they are. We have encouraged our kids to be the kind of people who provide that quality to their friends, and have assured them all that we will provide the same in our own house.

We have intentionally built a home of love. Certainly we have house rules, and a strong sense of right and wrong, but everything we do in this home is based upon love. First and foremost, we love in this family.

We are called to “love others as we love ourselves” (Leviticus 19:18). “Faith, Hope and Love: But the greatest of these is love.”-1st Corinthians 13:13.

Did he just drop some bible verses after talking about being supportive of gay and trans kids, and people of other faiths, and those who are different than us? And did it make sense?

Yes and yes.

I don’t get into matters of faith much here on the blog, and I don’t have time to break this all down for you here in this context, but here’s the takeaway. I am a Christian, though not a conservative one. There’s actually a lot of us, most people just don’t know because we’re not as loud as some of our sisters and brothers on the other side. Look, guys, we can bicker and argue amongst ourselves over what the Bible says vs. what it means all day long, but when it comes to how we treat others, there shouldn’t be an argument. Jesus himself said that people “will know you are my disciples if you have love for one another”(John 13:35). That doesn’t mean just us, it means everybody.

Also, stop using the Good Book as a weapon y’all. It’s supposed to heal not harm.

Alright, I’ll get off my high horse. The point is, I will not turn away my kid, or anyone else’s who needs a safe, supportive environment. If one of the friends has had a fight with their parents, or just needs to get away for a little bit and maybe get a snack and a fist bump they are welcome here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not out to judge these kids or their parents. I won’t keep a kid out of their home (unless there is real danger) and I’m not putting anybody up long term. I will make sure their parents know their kid is at a friend’s house and the parents are home. I don’t want to cause any trouble, legal or otherwise.

Still, I have told my children and they are to let their friends know that this is a safe place. Their friends are welcome here. Only one rule: You don’t judge the way I keep house, and I won’t judge the way you live your life. In other words, don’t judge my mess and I won’t judge yours.

You know, maybe if we all started thinking that way and living it out, we might just make this world a better place. Think about it.

Thanks for sticking with me during all that, faithful readers. I’ll come back to the random silliness next time. Until then, have a great week and meet me back here for more MonDAVEs.

Do You Want To Hear About Sunday Morning?

Okay, so we’re sitting in church on Sunday, like you do, and the sermon is well underway. This is a church that is new to us, but more on that in another post. Anyway, my son Pat suddenly begins making a noise. It’s sort of a gasping, repeated, quick-inhaling kind of a noise. Now, he’s a bit of a sensitive boy, and the sermon was about cultivating relationships with other people through their, and possibly our own, loneliness. This is a topic that could very easily hit home with the boy due to his own social awkwardness. Dad mode activates, and I check on his well being, believing that he might be starting to cry.

“You okay son?”

“Yeah, I just thought of something funny.”

“Well get it together, dude.”

Dude did not get it together.

He continued his silent, barely-keeping-it-together laughing fit, for a little bit too long. Long enough that his older sister, sitting next to him also became concerned, and also assumed him to be crying. She made a sympathetic sad face and held his hand. Which made him laugh even harder, and threatened to make me laugh as well.

At this point, it’s getting uncomfortable for yours truly. People in other pews are starting to notice. Now I have to take action. It is a well known fact to pretty much all mankind that once a laughing fit starts, it is nearly impossible to stop, especially when one is in a situation where one is not supposed to be laughing. Like a school lecture, or, say, a church you’ve just started attending, are still feeling out, and you are trying to make a good impression.

The only thing left to do was ride it out, so I put my arm around the boy, looking every bit like the consoling Dad, pulled him in close and let him laugh it out into my chest. Anyone observing would have thought I was whispering something loving into his ear, like “It’s okay, buddy. We can talk about this later if you want. Let it out.” But I was really all like, “Come on man, focus, this is ridiculous. You’re missing good stuff here, pay attention.”

With the fit over, we made it through to the end of the service with no other issues. Until, on the way out of the worship center, Pat asked big sister Tessa why she took his hand. She said something about how she was concerned about him since he was crying so much. She’s got a good heart, she does. Then he told her that he wasn’t crying, but laughing.

“WHAT? I was so worried. I held your hand, man! I thought you were GOING THROUGH IT!” She was appalled. Which started the laughing all over again.

And that is how my family makes an impression on a new church.

This One Gets A Little Rant-y

I gotta stop getting bad news on Mondays, man. I get all bummed out, and then it gets kinda hard to write one of these light hearted blogs. Okay, sure, I could write over the weekend and just publish on Mondays, but that’s just not the way I do things.

Anyway, I’m feeling a little down this evening. There are some people in my family who I love dearly that are not doing very well. Emergency surgery. Hospice. Non operational. All those words that fill a person with dread the moment you hear them.

Another family member just passed away last week, my cousin Amy. She was five years younger than me. We weren’t exactly close, but I always enjoyed talking to her. She had seen a lot of tragedy in her life, but became a loving mother and wife, and I always thought she was a really good person. So even though I hadn’t actually seen her for years, family is family no matter what and it’s a shame she is gone so soon.

Of course, there’s also the state of the world today. I don’t get political on this blog very often but allow me a moment or two to vent here. The war in Ukraine is still going on, and it is insanely unjust. I am against war in any way, shape, or form, and to watch the genocide that is happening overseas fills me with anger and a profound sadness. When will the world learn?

It’s not any better on the home front either. Basic human rights are under attack, mostly by people who claim to be pro family, and paint themselves as “patriots” while they hide behind the Bible and they hide behind the flag, while passing laws that do nothing but insult both of those things. They operate on fear, greed, and hatred and I’ve just about had it with the lot of ’em. I have seen too many people hurt, too many lives wrecked, and too many otherwise reasonable people duped into following their rhetoric. It’s bad out there, folks, and it ain’t getting better any time soon.

So. What to do? How do I pick myself up and move on? I look for hope, and I try to spread a little good. To be honest, hope is mighty hard to come by these days. Yet it’s there if we look for it.

There are still plenty of people out there fighting the good fight. I donate to causes I believe in. I also give to charities that help the less fortunate (I am the king of rounding up when I buy fast food). I vote. I do my best to support the oppressed (hey, that rhymes!) and take every opportunity I can to listen and to learn. If only those in power would do the same.

That’s part of “spreading good”. I also try to make people happy as much as possible by entertaining. Not only do I have this blog, which is usually a lot more upbeat than it is today, but I try to keep my social media fairly light, and I have just started a new feature with my brother on his podcast which should be premiering soon. Perhaps these aren’t the most noble examples but if I can make somebody smile, or even give them a momentary distraction from their troubles, then that’s a pretty good thing.

Now. Hope. Where does it come from? Well, for me, I see hope in this generation coming up now, Gen Z. They have a really good handle on things from a humanitarian point of view. I see in them the possibilities of fulfilling the good works we Gen Xers thought we were starting, but got too cynical and hardened to really finish up. I have hope that they may help save the soul of this country. It’s slipping away, but they have the power to grab hold of it and bring about a better future. I hope to God they can do it-and that it’s not too late.

I also have hope in the spiritual. I still believe in a gracious, loving God who loves us all. I hold on to my faith. I’m not always good at living it out, but I try. I also think that if all of us believers, no matter what denomination or faith, focused more on the love and less on the dogma, maybe some of that peace we’re all looking for might just start to manifest.

There’s still more hope though. I see hope whenever someone holds open a door for a stranger loaded up with bags. I see hope when people laugh together. I see hope in hugs from old friends and family. I hear hope in music of all types-even the sad or angry stuff. There’s hope in the rainbow after the storm, and in the sunshine that follows.

So yeah, there’s a lot of darkness out there right now. Things pretty much suck. But still, if we hold on hope, find a little light, and spread it around as best we can, well, then we might just make it through all right.

Thanks for indulging me with whatever that was. I’ll be back with more of the usual soon. Happy day to all you mothers and please come back for more MonDAVEs.