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A Few Ideas

I’m on a mission here at MonDAVES to provide loyal readers (you MonDavers know who you are) with fun content that gives you a little break from the work week and the daily insanity that is the world at large.

This is getting increasingly difficult to do.

While I was stuck trying to think of a topic for this edition, my wife handed me a book of writing prompts she bought for the kids to help them in their creative writing classes at school. This particular book, The Amazing Story Generator by Jason Sacher, is essentially a flip book. It allows the reader, or, um, flipper, to combine three different elements (setting, character, and plot) together to generate new story prompts. Most of them come across as pretty wacky, but that’s the fun of it. It should spark the imagination of pretty much any writer, and perhaps help bring a new story, poem, novel, or play into being.

Unfortunately, fiction is not my forte. I’ve tried many times, but I have yet to write much of anything fiction-wise that I would deem suitable for human consumption. However, being the creative type, I was intrigued by the concept. Even though this book may not spawn any stories from me, I did enjoy playing with the combos. I think you may enjoy them too.

So I now present to you the top ten story ideas I got from randomly flipping through The Amazing Story Generator. who knows, maybe one of these ideas will help one of you write something. If so, feel free to share it with me, I’d love to read it!

Let’s start with the first page. The flipbook reads as follows:
“Upon winning the lottery,
a reformed hitman
meets the ghost of Ernest Hemingway.”

Each part of the sentence, as I have typed it here, is flippable, so you can have any character in the book meet Hemmingway’s ghost. Or win the lottery. Or whatever. There are hundreds of combinations to choose from. The following are my favorite ones that I have chosen while flipping through the book. Put on your writing hats, if that’s a thing, ’cause here we go!

-After a monthlong fast, an avid comic book collector joins the mafia.
-In a post apocalyptic world, a clown in training leads the charge against a zombie army.
-After prolonged exposure to radiation, a talking dog has a showdown with a sheriff.
-Vowing not to bathe for an entire year, the illegitimate son of a king forgets to mail an important letter,
-After misreading an e-mail, the drummer for a punk rock band founds a nudist colony.
-Hoping to disprove a long held superstition, a wise garbage collector travels back in time.
-Forced to join the family business, an unsuccessful comedian is initiated into a secret cult.
-Longing for a simpler life, a former child television star develops the ability to fly.
-Having poisoned the soup, an Elvis impersonator receives a message from God.
-Blinded during a freak lightning strike, an apprentice bee keeper inadvertently starts World War Three.

And it goes on from there.

You know, even if you’re not a creative person, it can still be fun to flip through all of these ideas. Maybe order yourself a copy of the book. Maybe write something. Or don’t. I’m not here to pressure you or tell you what to do.

But I will be here again soon with another edition of MonDaves! Assuming I can generate any ideas that is.

Homecoming. Or Not.

This past weekend was Homecoming weekend at my kids’ high school. It hit different for all three kids.

The boy didn’t seem to care at all. He hung out at the Homecoming festival a while, but mostly because it happened during what would normally be class time. As far as the dance goes, it was barely even a blip on his radar. He was content to stay home, eat pizza, and play video games. Admittedly, I was the same way at his age, although I think I went to a friends house and we watched movies and then Headbanger’s Ball on MTV. You know, ’cause we were cool.

But as the song says, it’s different for girls. And my two girls couldn’t have handled it much differently.

First there’s Tessa, the eldest. She’s in her Junior year, and is a social butterfly. She’s one that’s able to navigate multiple different groups of friends, from her Theater troupe Thespian friends to the friends she has made through dance, those she knows through classes only, and her girly-girl friends. Through it all, she remains her genuine self. While each group no doubt gets a slightly different version of Tessa, she is always authentic, and remains true to her own spirit in spite of whatever slight tweaks each situation may demand.

At some point Tessa fell in with a group of rich girls. Well, they’re probably not really rich, but they are certainly a step or two up the economic ladder from us. One of them even lives in a nearby gated community. These are the girls she goes to the mall with, and who’s parents take them all on weekend trips to the lake. They have sleepovers regularly, and go as a group to all the school functions. This is the group that went to the Homecoming dance.

These girls all spent time picking out their dresses, and doing each other’s hair and make-up. They took all the obligatory pre-dance pictures with the obligatory poses. They went to the dance, hit the floor for the best songs, and, of course, had a sleepover later. Oh, and they stopped at Yogurt World too, because what kind of a special night would it be without it? They had a blast. Tessa loves the chance to get dressed up and be a girly-girl from time to time without the pressures of having a job or performance to do as well. I’m glad she was able to have the experience.

Then, there’s Melody.

Mel is not the social butterfly her sister is. She has friends and is well liked, but it’s different. Mel likes to keep to herself a little bit more. She’d rather have a few close friends than be pals with everyone. Not that she’s antisocial or anything, she’s just a more private person. And it’s okay.

Well, as you can imagine, the thought of the Homecoming dance didn’t quite excite her the way it did her sister. She’s not as into the traditional ways of thinking when it comes to this sort of thing. Still, I’m sure she felt some sort of obligation to mark the occasion.

So she did. She got her friends together for an Anti-Homecoming party.

Melody’s friend group are all of like mind in some ways, in that they are all fairly individualistic, non traditional, non conformists with strong personality types. They are outsiders, but I mean that in the best way possible. To quote Emily Bear (Fozzie’s mom) from “A Muppet Family Christmas”, “They’re weirdos…but they’re nice weirdos.” My kinda people.

Anyway, the plan was that they’d all get dressed to the nines, and purposefully not go to Homecoming. At first, they were just going to come over to the house and hang out, but I thought it would be a shame for everyone to get all dressed up and not have any cool pictures to share like their peers did from their Homecoming night. So I spoke with Melody about it and we decided there was only one thing to do.

Photo shoot at Wally’s!

For those unaware (or who missed my blog post on the subject), Wally’s is the Mid West equivalent of Buc-ee’s. They are very similar, except that Wally’s is a little bit more quiet and unassuming. Because that’s how we roll in the Mid west, baby.

Anyway, I loaded these kids up in the van, gave them control of the music, and carted them all out to Wally’s (roughly a 25 minute drive), where they got to goof around and play with the cheesy toys on display, and try on the silly hats, and fill up a bag with frontier style rocks, which made Mel’s bestie happier than anything. They all picked out various foods and a few fun gift shop items. We also had a photo shoot where we took pictures at the Wally’s wagon and the RV, under the giant neon sign, and they all wanted a “jump shot” which would have been cool if anybody actually jumped at the same time or got any air at all. Oh well. White kids can’t jump I guess.

There was also an ill-advised attempt to get all five kids into a photo booth, but the less said the better.

All night long there was lots of laughter and a bonding experience for all involved. Then back to the house for some cheese cake and everyone left happy. Many photos were shared on Instagram the next day. Anti-Homecoming was a success.

Here’s the coolest thing though. Reading through this, you would think that Tessa and Melody are such different people that they wouldn’t have much in common, but you’d be wrong. They’re best friends and truly loving sisters, which makes me a proud Dad for sure.

Thanks for reading MonDavers. I hope you have lots of good times with good friends too, and family as well. Take care of yourselves and I’ll see you next time!

Quick Update

Hey y’all.

I’ve been a little busy here lately and haven’t had much time to get the blog together.

Well, that’s only partly true. The busy thi g i mean. Lets take it week by week.

Last Monday I went to a concert with my old friend Jim whom I haven’t hung out with for years. It was a good time. We saw Dweezil Zappa play 3 hours (!) of his father Frank’s music-without a break. It was goofy in places (as it should be), musically enthralling, exhilarating, and exhausting. Got home super late and decided I’d catch up on the blog later.

This week, though, we are dealing with a leak in our basement. There’s been a slow leak in the pipes feeding our utility sink for some time, apparently. The problem with the slow leak is that you don’t notice it until the damage has been done.

Now, it wasn’t a terrible leak, and damage was minimal. Still, some drywall will need to ne replaced, the carpet cleaned (and hopefully not replaced, but time will tell), and I may need to replace some cds and dvd/blu-rays from my collection. I also left my mountain dulcimer in the path of the leak, but I think the instrument may still be playable. The case, though, is toast.

Anyway, it could have been a lot worse, all things considered. Fortunately, my wife’s sister and brother in law are both DIY experts, and they (along with a friend of theirs) helped us get everything under control right away. Big thanks to Mike, Elizabeth, and Sandy.

Well, there’s your update, folks. I hope to be back next week with a more normal type MonDaves post. Whatever that is. See you then!

P.S.-Oh, and I also had to replace the battery in my car during all this. Not a big deal, really, just something else to mention, I guess.

Et Tu Cracker Barrel?

I love Cracker Barrel. Does that surprise you at all? It shouldn’t.

As modern as my tastes are in art and culture, I’m a bit of an old soul. I love “down home”and “old-timey” kitschy stuff. I also love eating copious amounts of food that is probably okay if you’re out working in the fields all day, but pretty bad for the rest of us. So Cracker Barrel is right up my street.

Cracker Barrel is often thought of as a restaurant only for senior citizens, and while that is their largest demographic, it’s certainly not an exclusive thing. Many families go to Cracker Barrel for extended family meals. Some go while on vacation just to have a bite somewhere familiar because it brings a feeling of homey-ness, which is a word I’m pretty sure I just invented. You’re welcome.

We regulars go to Cracker Barrel because we want to eat chicken and dumplings, biscuits and gravy, have breakfast at night, and get a mess of okra on the side. We want to wander around the general store looking at products and clothing we don’t need but, ehh, we may pick up something anyway if it’s unique enough, or would make a good last minute Christmas gift. We’d also like a few of those old timey candies and sodas, too, as long as we’re at it. Basically, Cracker Barrel is a vibe that lets us feel connected somewhat to the past (fabricated though that feeling may be), and puts us in touch, ever so slightly, with an idyllic, small town America that, for the majority, no longer exists.

And they’re going to take it away from us.

Yep. Rebranding. Ugh.

It seems that the corporate yahoos over at the CB offices have noticed a bit of a decline in business. That’s pretty much true with restaurants across the board since Covid, of course, but there you are.

According to the brand’s new CEO, the chain “isn’t as relevant” as it once was. Umm…okay. Has Cracker Barrel ever been relevant? Depends on your definition, I suppose, but I would tend to say “no” to that one. Which is okay. It’s not supposed to be hip and relevant. It’s supposed to be kitschy and uncool. That’s why we love it!

The aim, of course, is that the chain will appeal to new customers while continuing to please the current base. Seldom does this work. Sure, there’s usually an uptick in business when the new changes roll out, but that’s mostly due to curiosity. Once the sheen wears off, many businesses find themselves in trouble just like they were in before. Which tends to start the cycle all over again.

It has also been stated that the chain will focus on better tasting items. This is good. However, that generally means that the chain will be simplifying the menu (throwing out your favorites). That could go either way.

Basically, what the company is trying to do is to modernize while still keeping the nostalgia factor. That’s going to be hard. No doubt there will be an overhaul inside the restaurant, probably removing most of the crazy crap on the walls and painting them in a muted shade of beige. They’ll probably try to bring in some sort of technology aspect as well, which could be anything from replacing the waitstaff with tablets for ordering (shudder) to an electronic version of the peg game. No good can come of this.

They’ll probably even redesign the logo. Every other restaurant on the planet has adopted streamlined, soulless logos, so why wouldn’t Cracker Barrel follow suit?

The logo we all know and love. I may or may not have bought this tee shirt exclusively for this post.

Okay, I know I sound like a grumpy old man here, but, I mean, honestly. Nobody wants this. Other than the guys in the suits, I mean.

Do you wanna turn things around Cracker Barrel? Here’s what we want:

– Better tasting food. It’s not that the food is bad as is, but there is room for improvement on some of your dinner items. Okay, sure, the food is gummable which helps the seniors out, but not everything needs to taste like it was boiled. The menu doesn’t need changing as much as the recipes do, and even then, you don’t need to CHANGE. Just tweak a little. Except for your breakfast items. They rule. All of ’em. Leave them be.

– Lower prices. This is difficult in these times when food is overpriced across the board, I know. Maybe run more specials? Discounted prices for smaller meals? Themed specials, perhaps, like “Okrafest”, or “Dumplin’ Days” maybe? There are lots of possibilities here.

– Better connection with customers. How about some big community outreach programs? Maybe partner up with some local charities to get people in the door to spend money and donate to causes that affect their neighbors and friends. Perhaps this is already done, I don’t know, but if so, I’m not aware of it. So if there is a charitable arm of Cracler Barrel, make some noise about it. Involve yourselves in your customer’s lives, and people will notice.

Now. What we don’t want is the standard, boring, lifeless makeover. We also don’t want these changes to come at the cost of people. Please find a way to avoid the “minimize choice and minimize workforce” system that so many other restaurants have followed in the past. This idea may help the bottom line, but it usually results in longer wait times and grumpy employees. Which leads to grumpy customers. Certainly, this is not the change you are looking for.

Alright, rant over. I’ve complained about this sort of thing before, and no CEOs have listened to me yet (rude!), but I still feel obligated to raise a ruckus.

You’re one of the few consistent, reliable, comfortable, “happy place” restaurants left, Cracker Barrel. Don’t let us down.

Thanks for reading, MonDavers. See you next time.

A Little More Wisconsin Stuff

I just wanted to share a few more things with you all from our trip.

As you may or may not recall, I mentioned buying souvenirs at some of our stops. I have always been a fan of high-quality-knick-knackery, and clothing in particular. A lot of other people are, too, obviously, since the souvenir business is always a money maker.

I am also a fan of YouTube rabbit holes, but more on that in a minute.

Anyway, if you are one of those people who likes t-shirts and whatnot, here’s the stuff I bought.

First up is my t shirt from Bay Beach Park. It’s a little more green than grey in real life, but that’s okay. It’s a nice shirt. My wife likes this one a lot. Good thing she was around. Left to my own devices, I’d have bought something cheesey.

Speaking of cheesey, or…um…sausage-y, I got this spiffy trucker hat from the Johnsonville store.

Now. Sheboygan. I titled a section of the last blog, “Sheboygan, Who Knew?” but I can’t take credit for that line. Neither can the guy who sold me this shirt. It actually comes from Gabe Leistekow, who made a slightly snarky little video about his hometown that is both funny and a loving tribute. Both the shirt and the video follow: