Halloween Post 2024-Return Of The Dad Joke!!!!

If there’s one thing long term readers can say about this blog and my writing style, it’s “There’s a guy who’s not afraid to go back to the well”.

Not being one to disappoint, it’s time to combine two traditional MonDave classics-the yearly Halloween post and the always popular Dad joke post. I know I kind of played around with the idea last year, but this time I’m going all in! Get ready guys and ghouls, here comes…

THE OFFICIAL MONDAVES TOP 20 HALLOWEEN DAD JOKES (They’re scary-good! Or bad!)

What’s big, scary, and has 3 wheels?
A monster riding a tricycle.
Why don’t werewolves ever know the time?
Because they’re not whenwolves.
Why do people hate vampires?
Because they suck.
Why was the witch’s broom late?
It overswept.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter let me in, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Fangs.
Fangs who?
Fangs for letting me in.
What’s a vampire’s greatest fear?
Tooth decay.
What’s the one room ghosts don’t need in their house?
A living room.
What did the zombie say when he met the human?
Nice to eat you.
Why do dentists hand out candy on Halloween?
It’s good for business.
What do you call an observant wolf?
Awarewolf.
What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
Why did the ghost haunt the neighborhood tavern?
He liked the boos.
How do you know you’ve been ghosted?
The poltergeist doesn’t text you back.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
What do horses dress up as for Halloween?
Night mares.
Why did the cyclops quit his teaching job?
Because he only had one pupil.
Why don’t mummies take time off?
They are afraid to unwind.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaains!
What kind of medicine do witches use on their warts?
I don’t know, but it’s not working.

And finally, as a bonus, my favorite Halloween one-liner:
A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

All right, MonDavers, that’ll do it for this week. Have a happy and safe Halloween. See you next time!

A message for You.

Hey gang.

I’ve been super busy lately, hardly having time to turn around. I figure a lot of you can say the same. Tired. Run down. A touch overwhelmed. Bombarded by negativity from all directions, be it social media, the news, or just, like, every other conversation these days.

I know. I get it. I feel it too.

That’s why I wanted to just pop on here real quick and say the following:

You’re doing it. The big hard thing. You know the thing. You’re doing it. You are getting there. Maybe not as fast as you’d like. Maybe not as efficiently. Maybe the thing feels like A LOT. It is. But you’re doing it.

You’re also doing the little things. The things that keep you going. The things that have to be done. The things that make all the difference in the world, whether you know it or not.

You’re doing all the things. You are making progress. You’re killing it. Slowly, maybe, but you are.

You are unique. Nobody else has what you as an individual have to offer. Your perspective. Your skill set. Your…well…YOUnes. Therefore, you are needed.

People like you. We are all our own worst critic, and it can be hard to see ourselves in a positive light sometimes. Somebody does see you, though. Maybe they don’t verbalize it the way you’d like. Maybe it’s hard to tell. That’s okay. It doesn’t mean that it’s not true.

Don’t you have people in your life you really like and look up to, but maybe haven’t really articulated that fact? Well, someone else thinks of you in that same way.

You are important, and you matter.

It could be that it’s been a while since you’ve had a compliment. Most people don’t get enough of them, and studies show that men receive considerably less. So I wanted to give you a compliment just in case you needed one.

Okay, so maybe I don’t know you. It doesn’t matter, really, because I believe that the above statements apply to all of us.

I hope this cheers you up a little. I hope it gives you a nice feeling to take into the rest of your week and beyond. I hope you’re getting the compliments and affirmations you need. If ever you’re not, come back and read this again.

Even better, share these words with a friend or family member who needs to hear them. You don’t have to share this exact post, but maybe use it as a starting point to bring some compliments to others.

It’s dark out there, fam. Let’s bring the light.

Shine on, MonDavers. I’ll see you next time.

Homecoming. Or Not.

This past weekend was Homecoming weekend at my kids’ high school. It hit different for all three kids.

The boy didn’t seem to care at all. He hung out at the Homecoming festival a while, but mostly because it happened during what would normally be class time. As far as the dance goes, it was barely even a blip on his radar. He was content to stay home, eat pizza, and play video games. Admittedly, I was the same way at his age, although I think I went to a friends house and we watched movies and then Headbanger’s Ball on MTV. You know, ’cause we were cool.

But as the song says, it’s different for girls. And my two girls couldn’t have handled it much differently.

First there’s Tessa, the eldest. She’s in her Junior year, and is a social butterfly. She’s one that’s able to navigate multiple different groups of friends, from her Theater troupe Thespian friends to the friends she has made through dance, those she knows through classes only, and her girly-girl friends. Through it all, she remains her genuine self. While each group no doubt gets a slightly different version of Tessa, she is always authentic, and remains true to her own spirit in spite of whatever slight tweaks each situation may demand.

At some point Tessa fell in with a group of rich girls. Well, they’re probably not really rich, but they are certainly a step or two up the economic ladder from us. One of them even lives in a nearby gated community. These are the girls she goes to the mall with, and who’s parents take them all on weekend trips to the lake. They have sleepovers regularly, and go as a group to all the school functions. This is the group that went to the Homecoming dance.

These girls all spent time picking out their dresses, and doing each other’s hair and make-up. They took all the obligatory pre-dance pictures with the obligatory poses. They went to the dance, hit the floor for the best songs, and, of course, had a sleepover later. Oh, and they stopped at Yogurt World too, because what kind of a special night would it be without it? They had a blast. Tessa loves the chance to get dressed up and be a girly-girl from time to time without the pressures of having a job or performance to do as well. I’m glad she was able to have the experience.

Then, there’s Melody.

Mel is not the social butterfly her sister is. She has friends and is well liked, but it’s different. Mel likes to keep to herself a little bit more. She’d rather have a few close friends than be pals with everyone. Not that she’s antisocial or anything, she’s just a more private person. And it’s okay.

Well, as you can imagine, the thought of the Homecoming dance didn’t quite excite her the way it did her sister. She’s not as into the traditional ways of thinking when it comes to this sort of thing. Still, I’m sure she felt some sort of obligation to mark the occasion.

So she did. She got her friends together for an Anti-Homecoming party.

Melody’s friend group are all of like mind in some ways, in that they are all fairly individualistic, non traditional, non conformists with strong personality types. They are outsiders, but I mean that in the best way possible. To quote Emily Bear (Fozzie’s mom) from “A Muppet Family Christmas”, “They’re weirdos…but they’re nice weirdos.” My kinda people.

Anyway, the plan was that they’d all get dressed to the nines, and purposefully not go to Homecoming. At first, they were just going to come over to the house and hang out, but I thought it would be a shame for everyone to get all dressed up and not have any cool pictures to share like their peers did from their Homecoming night. So I spoke with Melody about it and we decided there was only one thing to do.

Photo shoot at Wally’s!

For those unaware (or who missed my blog post on the subject), Wally’s is the Mid West equivalent of Buc-ee’s. They are very similar, except that Wally’s is a little bit more quiet and unassuming. Because that’s how we roll in the Mid west, baby.

Anyway, I loaded these kids up in the van, gave them control of the music, and carted them all out to Wally’s (roughly a 25 minute drive), where they got to goof around and play with the cheesy toys on display, and try on the silly hats, and fill up a bag with frontier style rocks, which made Mel’s bestie happier than anything. They all picked out various foods and a few fun gift shop items. We also had a photo shoot where we took pictures at the Wally’s wagon and the RV, under the giant neon sign, and they all wanted a “jump shot” which would have been cool if anybody actually jumped at the same time or got any air at all. Oh well. White kids can’t jump I guess.

There was also an ill-advised attempt to get all five kids into a photo booth, but the less said the better.

All night long there was lots of laughter and a bonding experience for all involved. Then back to the house for some cheese cake and everyone left happy. Many photos were shared on Instagram the next day. Anti-Homecoming was a success.

Here’s the coolest thing though. Reading through this, you would think that Tessa and Melody are such different people that they wouldn’t have much in common, but you’d be wrong. They’re best friends and truly loving sisters, which makes me a proud Dad for sure.

Thanks for reading MonDavers. I hope you have lots of good times with good friends too, and family as well. Take care of yourselves and I’ll see you next time!

Quick Update

Hey y’all.

I’ve been a little busy here lately and haven’t had much time to get the blog together.

Well, that’s only partly true. The busy thi g i mean. Lets take it week by week.

Last Monday I went to a concert with my old friend Jim whom I haven’t hung out with for years. It was a good time. We saw Dweezil Zappa play 3 hours (!) of his father Frank’s music-without a break. It was goofy in places (as it should be), musically enthralling, exhilarating, and exhausting. Got home super late and decided I’d catch up on the blog later.

This week, though, we are dealing with a leak in our basement. There’s been a slow leak in the pipes feeding our utility sink for some time, apparently. The problem with the slow leak is that you don’t notice it until the damage has been done.

Now, it wasn’t a terrible leak, and damage was minimal. Still, some drywall will need to ne replaced, the carpet cleaned (and hopefully not replaced, but time will tell), and I may need to replace some cds and dvd/blu-rays from my collection. I also left my mountain dulcimer in the path of the leak, but I think the instrument may still be playable. The case, though, is toast.

Anyway, it could have been a lot worse, all things considered. Fortunately, my wife’s sister and brother in law are both DIY experts, and they (along with a friend of theirs) helped us get everything under control right away. Big thanks to Mike, Elizabeth, and Sandy.

Well, there’s your update, folks. I hope to be back next week with a more normal type MonDaves post. Whatever that is. See you then!

P.S.-Oh, and I also had to replace the battery in my car during all this. Not a big deal, really, just something else to mention, I guess.

Happy Little T-Shirt Philosophy

This is one of my favorite T-shirts. Sure, it’s a fun, pop culture item, but there’s a little more to it than that.

I’ve actually had a few Bob Ross based shirts over the years, but I like this one best. It’s in constant rotation for me. Partially because I look good in it, and it matches a lot of my button down shirts, but also because of what it means.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock since the late 1980s, you’re sure to have stumbled onto an episode of “The Joy Of Painting” and seen Bob Ross painting his happy little trees and clouds and what not. You’ve probably watched in amazement as he creates a masterpiece in 30 minutes (and then wrecks it by putting in a giant tree that covers up like a third of the painting), and giggled at some of his expressions. This particular saying, though, is pretty good.

Bob says that, on the canvas, we don’t make mistakes. We have happy accidents. It means that when you do make a mistake while painting, you learn to use whatever happens in the painting and make it work for you. Sometimes, a mistake can make you look at the painting (or whatever it is you are working on) in a whole new way. Finding a fix can often lead not just to a cover-up or a “band-aid” type remedy but a whole new idea that improves the project as a whole.

This is a great lesson to learn, not only for the arts but for project works of any kind, from your occupation to chores around the house. It’s an easy philosophy to embrace but can be hard to put into practice.

We all make mistakes. It’s part of human nature. Sometimes, mistakes are small, easy to catch, and can be rectified quickly with little or no fallout. Other times, you’re not so lucky, and you’ve gotta take your lumps. Still, unless you’ve caused a total disaster, you can still make it through and try again next time.

One thing I have learned is to try to keep mistakes in perspective. Not easy to do, of course, I’ve had plenty of sleepless nights worrying about something that didn’t go as planned. More often than not, though, the mistakes I have made have seemed bigger and more devastating to me than to anyone else involved.

It’s easy to obsess over mistakes and to beat yourself up. Trust me, I’m good at it. What needs to be kept in mind, though, is that you are not alone. I’ve found that by and large, there are more people willing to help you succeed than waiting to watch you fail. It doesn’t always seem that way, especially at the time, but I think it’s mostly true.

Often, I have heard it said that mistakes are okay if you learn from them. Undoubtedly true, but learning from your mistakes doesn’t always mean that you won’t make the same mistake again or that you’ll ever be perfect at whatever it is you’re doing. I mean, ideally, it would, yeah. More important, though, is how you deal with your mistakes whenever they occur.

Here’s where the “happy accidents” thing comes back into play. Make the mistakes work for you. Mistakes allow us to learn about not only the job at hand but also the process involved, our own role in that process, and even learn a little about ourselves too.

Okay. Not sure how this became a TED Talk, but here we are. Anyway.

These are the reasons why this is one of my favorite shirts. Sometimes, I wear it when I’m having a bad week to help remind me of these ideas. Sometimes, I wear it at the start of the week to help set my mood and my attitude up right. Sometimes, I just wear it out and about and hope somebody compliments me on the shirt.

All right, that’s enough of my yapping. I hope you all have an amazing week with as few mistakes as possible. Sorry. Not mistakes. Happy accidents.

See you mext time.

EDIT:

Next time.

See? I just learned to make sure I remember to run spellchecker on these things.