Sorry Everyone.

Hey, y’all. My plans for today’s blog got derailed here last minute. I got some bad news just as I was sitting down to write, and to be honest it kind of knocked the wind out of my sails a little bit. I don’t really want to write about all that right now, nor would it be prudent to do so. The topic I originally had in mind can wait a little bit, too. There’s no rush on any of this stuff. There’s just a lot going on and I need a minute.

So I’m taking this week off. Sorry to disappoint. I’ll be back next week. Thanks for understanding. Until then, take care of yourselves and one another.

Laugh Until It Hurts

Read that title again. It’s not “laugh because it hurts”, or “laugh through the hurt”, those are separate, valid ideas and are for discussing another time.

As most regular readers know, I spent most of my twenties in the world of stand-up comedy. I never made it past the small fish in a big pond level, true. However, I did enough gigs, traveled enough, and met/knew enough full time professional comics that I can speak to the subject with some bona-fide knowledge and experience. I’ve discussed my complicated relationship with comedy before, that’s not what this post will be about. I want to discuss the other side for a moment, the absolute joy that going to a live comedy show can bring.

I am not a person who is offended easily. I don’t mind “foul” language (if such a thing can even be said to exist). Just because I have chosen not to use it in my own work recently doesn’t mean I am offended when others do. I also believe that there is no topic that should be off limits to joke about, based on what I call the rule of “extent and intent”. Basically, if the subject matter, or topic of the joke, is blown up to outrageous proportions to where one can’t possibly take what is being said all that seriously, and if the idea behind the bit is to point out what’s inherently funny about an aspect of the topic itself, or the reactions and results that indirectly come from said topic, I’m fine with pretty much any joke out there. It’s okay to use shock value, as long as you can back it up with some relevant, well thought out ideas. I’ll even laugh at a dirty joke as long as it’s told well, and there’s something to it besides just the vulgarity. The only rule I have ever had when writing, performing, or viewing, is that it’s never okay to be mean for the sake of being mean. Also, try to be original. If not in the subject matter, at least in presentation, and in the crafting of the material.

Anyway, I have been thinking about this topic a lot lately, since the Grim Reaper has been declaring open season on comedians over the past few years. Some of the comedians I used to watch for hours, studying the way they both constructed and delivered their jokes, people who were some of our heroes in the scene have all passed on far too soon. When this happens, the natural thing to do is to go back and watch some of their old material, knowing full well that it will always be funny, but never quite hit the same way again.

Then I started thinking about the many great comics I have seen live. I’ve seen some of the greats, and the near great. Also the bottom of the barrel, but never mind about that. Most shows I’ve seen have been good, some have been great. Then there are the special, rare, elite shows. These are shows when I laughed so hard and so often tears came out, and I could not catch my breath. Some legendary performers did not have this effect (although their shows were very good), and a few comics that I mention you may not know off the top of your head. Let’s talk about them all. The following shows are not ranked, it would be a fool’s errand to attempt. Anyway, here we go.

Emo Phillips-I’ve seen Emo a few times, but his headline set at Comedy Etc. (RIP) in Fairview Heights, IL was the best. This was during the period where he ditched the Pageboy haircut and had slightly toned down his usual stage character. This actually made his material even funnier, and since he is one of the best American one liner joke writers ever, the whole night was just amazing. Emo is always worth watching so catch him when you can and be prepared for a great set. This one though, was my favorite Emo set.

Dennis Wolfberg-His is a name that is pretty much lost to all but the most devoted fans of late 80s-early 90s comedy. That’s somewhat understandable since so many have come along after. Also, his material may fall a little flat to a modern audience-stylistically, not topically. The thing about Wolfberg was that his jokes weren’t all that funny, but HE was funny. He was funny to look at, and funny to listen to, perhaps one of the last holdovers from the old time comics in that way. I don’t remember much of what he said-told a story about being injured in his privates I think-but I do know that by mid show I was laughing so hard I had slid down my chair and was halfway under the table, convulsing from laughter. Something about the way he acc-CENT-uated the…wwwwwwwwORDS he used ladies and gentlemen left me in fits. His was a sad loss.

Dana Gould-Often credited as one of the founders of the alternative comedy scene in America, Dana has written for The Simpsons, and guest starred in many of your favorite shows. He once said that in the Simpsons writing room that he was the one who came up with the “objectionable joke that inspired the less objectionable joke that made it to air”, and that’s probably a good description of his material. He is at once intelligent, silly, sarcastic, satirical, confessional, and very adult. I’ve never left a Dana Gould show without being in awe of his next level brilliance. It’s actually impossible to pick a favorite Dana show, but Westport Funny Bone in the 90’s is probably the favorite.

Gilbert Gottfried-I saw Gilbert in what I call the “before time”. You see, before he was known for just showing up and telling dirty jokes, Gilbert was one of the most creative, unique, and yes, mostly clean comics out there. His onstage character combined modern delivery and thought processes with Borscht Belt humor. Not only was it bizarre, it was hysterically funny, even when you didn’t know what it was you were laughing at. Seriously, look up his early stand up from the 80s-specifically his HBO “One Night Stand”, or just his Letterman debut. Night and day difference, and SO FUNNY. The show I saw is burned into my memory (what I can remember anyway) as one of the best experiences I have ever had in a club as an audience member. I have seen hundreds of shows-it was that good.

At this point I feel like I need to shout out another local comic who never made it, but was one of the funniest person I ever saw. Paul Stoekline (I think that’s how he spelled it) was the only local comedian I would never want to follow, and I was most in awe of how his brain worked. The fact that out of all of us he didn’t go on to bigger, better things is a crime.

Anyway, I guess I wanted to share those experiences to inspire others to go see live comedy, Covid restrictions permitting, of course, because there’s nothing like a live comic in a club. See the legends while you can, and the up and comers while they are still hungry and fearless. The intimacy and immediacy of the moment is something that cannot be replicated in a theater or, especially, at home.

For one thing, while sitting at home watching the television (or YouTube), you miss seeing the event with a crowd. Laughter feeds off of laughter, so the good vibes get passed around the room, and for a small period of time you are unique, one time sharing an experience with other people and you can’t get that in your living room. Also, most performers are different when they know they are being recorded. The shows aren’t as loose and comfortable, they are a little bit stiff. Not that most people viewing would notice but if you’ve seen enough shows you know what I mean. It’s a natural reaction. Sometimes it’s purposeful, sometimes not, but the difference is there. You will still laugh (if it’s funny), but the live show would be so much better.

Now, having said that, there is no guarantee that you will have the special experiences mentioned above. It takes a perfect storm for these shows to happen. The comic must be completely on his/her game, the audience open and ready, the club at just the right temperature (comfort is a factor), and there needs to be some sort of unidentifiable spark in the air that you can’t define, but you feel it when it happens. This is also true of live theater and music as well.

But still, go. At bare minimum you will be entertained, and have a nice evening out, which in these times may be enough. Let yourself be open to hearing a different, possibly loopy point of view, let down your walls, and be willing to laugh until it hurts. You will leave in a better place than you arrived.

Five Fives

Regular readers know how much I enjoy making lists for this blog. Some are longer than others, and some are more on the serious side than most, but they are all intended to entertain and perhaps get the good readership thinking about their own preferences. I have a lot of fun compiling these lists, and I hope you have fun reading them too.

In that same spirit, I have compiled five short, fun top 5 lists for your reading enjoyment this time around. Here we go.

DAVE’S 5 FAVORITE WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE:
1. Kumquat
2. Abundance
3. Exquisite
4. Braggadocios
5. Diddley-squat

DAVE’S 5 FAVORITE FLAVORS OF VESS SODA:
1. Cream Soda
2. Whistle Orange
3. Black Cherry
4. Strawberry
5. Grape

DAVE’S 5 FAVORITE SECONDARY LOONEY TUNES CHARACTERS:
1. Marvin Martian
2. Hubie And Bertie (duo)
3. Pete Puma
4. Michigan J. Frog
5. Beaky Buzzard

5 RANDOM THINGS DAVE MISSES FROM THE 80’S
1. Renting movies at the mom and pop video store (pre BLOCKBUSTER)
2. Making mix tapes
3. Going to the Arcade
4. Jams shorts, baby!
5. Early cable TV

5 THINGS I WOULD DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR:
1. Nothing
2. Not much
3. Very Little
4. (snore) ..Hmmm…what?
5. I mean, if you really wanted me to have one I’d take it just to be polite, but, y’know, no.

Ooh, and BONUS LIST I just thought of ’cause it’s almost Easter…

DAVE’S 5 FAVORITE EASTER CANDIES:
1. Reese’s Eggs (WAY better than the cups for some reason)
2. Starburst jellybeans
3. Cadbury creme eggs
4. Rain-blo bubble gum eggs
5. Sweet Tarts/Smarties (tie)

Okay, that’s all I’ve got for now. See you next week for more MonDAVEs.

Dave’s Take On Kansas City

Our quick trip to Kansas City proved to be a nice little getaway/diversion for our family. While it would have been nice to have a little more time to explore, we enjoyed the time spent in the city. Compared to downtown St. Louis, it is a much cleaner city-not that STL is unclean, but it’s slightly more…not run down, but…used? Older, maybe? At least on the surface it seems that way. I love STL immensely, but we have our problems for sure. KC seems to be a bit more user friendly is all.

The downtown neighborhoods we drove through seemed nice. I also liked that the college seemed to be well integrated into the city landscape. It is a very hill-y city though. Well, the Missouri side is anyway. The Kansas side seemed to flatten out a bit.

Speaking of Kansas, that’s where we stayed. We looked at several hotels and wound up booking one in the suburbs, because it had an indoor pool for the kids. If there’s one thing that kids love while on vacation, it’s a pool. Our hotel of choice was the Homewood Suites by Hilton. Apart from the pool situation, it had rooms that would sleep the five of us comfortably (in one suite as opposed to two rooms-more economical), and had a full breakfast each morning. Very nice hotel, and clean, highly recommended.

Our hotel was in the suburbs, but located just a stones throw from the Kansas Speedway which was of course closed, but looked pretty cool. We were also next to Legends Outlet mall, which had like a bazillion stores in it. There seem to be quite a few functional malls in the area, while most of them are dying out here. To be fair, we didn’t really visit any of them, but they looked to be in good shape.

Okay, so there’s your initial impressions, let’s get to the attractions.

LEGOLAND DISCOVERY CENTER
-I’m kind of mixed on this one. Their website makes it seem like it is an attraction for all ages, and while that’s not untrue, it’s really geared more to smaller kids. I think if our kids were two or three years younger they would have absolutely loved it. Don’t get me wrong, it is enjoyable enough. There were some really interesting exhibits of Lego art, and multiple life size figures which were pretty cool, as well as a Lego replica of the downtown KC area itself, and a trip through the Wizard of OZ movie in Lego form. Of the two rides, one was definitely a child’s ride, but the other was a “dark ride” in which you got to blast stuff with a pretend gun and try to save the Princess. We all enjoyed that ride, but WHY SO MANY LEGO SPIDERS? Seriously, they should warn a person! Let’s see, what else…oh, there was a “Ninjago Training course” which I probably got the worst score ever on, and a cute little 3D movie theater. Oh, and an obviously overpriced snack bar that we didn’t go anywhere near. So, there was enough to keep us all entertained, and we did enjoy the experience, but it is aimed at young children (3-8) overall, so keep that in mind if you ever visit.

SEALIFE AQUARIUM
-Right next door to the Discovery Center is the Sealife aquarium which is exactly what you think it is. I always enjoy aquariums. Maybe it takes a certain kind of person, I don’t know, but I could sit and watch fish swim and interact with each other for hours and not get bored. This particular aquarium is nice and puts a little more emphasis on education than some that I have been to, but is not as impressive overall as Ripley’s in Gatlinburg, TN, or the St. Louis aquarium at Union Station, which is REALLY good. That being said, I would recommend Sealife as a quality stop for your next visit to Kansas City.

THE NATIONAL MUSEUM OF MINIATURES AND TOYS
-This was the coolest thing we did, hand down. The museum’s first floor is dedicated to fine scale miniatures, usually 1:12 scale. What I thought was going to be just a bunch of doll house furniture wound up being so much more interesting than I imagined. Pretty much anything you can think of is on display in miniature, and the detail is AMAZING. From Victorian mansions to an antique shop, artist studios and more, the scenes are incredible. Not only are the settings impressive, but the detail involved is doubly so. There are hand woven quilts and rugs in these displays, and objects you would swear have been hit by some futuristic shrink ray. Then the upstairs is full of toys from the early 1900s up to today, everything from board games to video consoles, rag dolls to action figures, teddy bears and more. There is something there to bring out the kid in everyone. I absolutely loved it.

Now let’s talk food. Of course, you can’t go to Kansas City without getting some barbecue. I couldn’t get everyone to agree to BBQ for every meal, but I didn’t really think that would fly anyway. Apart from breakfast at the hotel, we ate at Zaxby’s for one lunch because we don’t have them in St. Louis and I like them a lot-way better than Cane’s which we have a lot of around here. We also went to a Tex-Mex restaurant called On The Border which we had a gift card for somehow (?), and since those aren’t in STL either we went ahead and used it. Pretty good actually, I kind of wish we did have them here.

But I digress. The first barbecue restaurant we went to was Famous Dave’s, which I had heard of but didn’t know was a chain. I also didn’t know we had a to-go only location minutes away from where I work until I just googled that info a minute ago. I wanted to see how big a chain they were-and the answer to that is pretty dang big-when I saw a Creve Coeur location I’d never heard of or seen. I can only assume it’s very, very new. Or I need to pay more attention to my life.

ANYWAY, had I known it was a chain I might have opted for something else, since I wanted true KC barbecue. I was not disappointed however, because the food was really good-their burnt ends were excellent, as was the chicken. So, if you’re out and about and you find yourself near a Famous Dave’s, check ’em out. I’ve had better from independent BBQ joints, but this still hit the spot and was quite yummy.

Before we left town, we HAD to go to Gate’s Barbecue and get some ribs. They are famous as some of the best ribs you can get, and I have had many people bring them back for me, and they were always awesome, so it was a no brainer that we should go.

The thing is, nobody warned me about the actual Gate’s experience. As soon as you walk in to the much too dark restaurant, the counter person basically assaults you by shouting “Hi may I help you?”, and you are expected to order immediately. It took me by surprise. That approach works when there is a long line of people, and you are five orders away from the front of the line. You order, and by the time you get to the front your food is ready. I getit, but I don’t like it. Especially since it was our first time in and we had no idea what was happening. There was one group ahead of us and two behind. The lady up front just kept yelling “Hi may I help you” and no one knew who she was talking to. I found it to be abrasive, high pressure, and a little rude, honestly.

Again, I get that they are trying to assembly line your food, and I can see how that would work on a crowded day, but it was just bizarre to me. I know some people like that sort of thing. There are some small restaurants (and at least one chain) that are famous for treating people that way, or worse. Some people think it’s fun, and adds character. I don’t agree.

Oh, and then, to top it off, there is another lady who basically acts like a waitress and takes care of everyone at your table after you sit down. WHAT is that about? Also, why isn’t she bringing the food? I mean, she was super sweet and cool, I guess to make up for the initial abuse? Whatever.

You lost me, Gates, I don’t care for the way you run your business. To be fair the ribs are absolutely amazing, some of the best you’ll ever have, but I don’t think any food is worth that type of treatment. There were at least four other places I could have gone, and probably had a better experience. I know Gate’s has its fans, and if you dig that atmosphere then more power to you, have at it, but I won’t be joining you.

Still, all in all, we did have a nice trip. There is a lot more to see and do than we had time for this trip, so another visit to Kansas City may be in the cards for a later date. In any case, this trip was about getting away as a family and having new experiences together. It was as much about bonding as anything else, and that we surely did. We are blessed that not only do we all get along well and love each other, but we like each other too, which makes any time together good, and our family trips even more so.

Thanks for reading, see you next week.

The Brink Family Takes Our Shot To See HAMILTON…Missouri.

This past weekend I took the family on a quick road trip to Kansas City. Since the kids and wife were all on Spring Break at the same time this year (she’s a teacher by the way, if you didn’t know), I decided to take a few days vacation to spend some quality time together. While we thought it would be fun to plan a little get away, we didn’t want to break the bank. After looking at a few options we decided that Kansas City would fit the bill nicely.

However (there’s always a however), we almost didn’t go. The week before we were due to leave, the boy came down with the flu and, of course, gave it to his mama, because we are sharers in this family. Fortunately, by the time the trip rolled around both of them were feeling better, and armed with a sense of adventure and a bunch of Beatles music we departed for Kansas City.

However (see?), first we had another stop to make. My wife, Valerie, is a crafter, and has been since well before we met. She has always loved to sew, and has become a pretty serious quilter over the past several years. Her favorite store is called Missouri Star Quilting, and is located in Hamilton, Missouri, which isn’t exactly on the way to KC, but is close enough for a diversion. So the plan was to stop by Hamilton (aka Quilt Town, USA), visit Missouri Star, and be on our way.

Now, for those who may not be familiar with Missouri Star Quilting (MSQ), it is kind of a big deal in the quilting world. Started as a retirement business by a woman named Jenny Doan, and co-run by her family, it has expanded into a national business. If I am not mistaken, they are currently the largest quilting supplier in the United States. They do massive on line business, and quilters come from across the country to visit the stores. Yes, stores, plural. In fact, MSQ and its sister stores take up both sides of an entire street, with twelve shops in all (including Man Land, a retreat for weary husbands who are just DONE with all the fabric). Mrs. Doan, her daughter and daughter in law also host online tutorials on You Tube and have several books in print. These women are basically the rock stars of their field. So for a quilter, this trip is pretty much a must do.

For the record, I am not into this sewing thing much at all, and know very little about it other than a few terms I have learned from my wife showing me her work. You may think that I was dreading this portion of our trip, but that was not the case. For one thing, I like seeing Small Town America. I like the look of old buildings, the history behind them, and I like to see how they are used and revitalized in the current day. I also figured I owed Valerie for the many times she has had to stand around a record store waiting for me to make a decision on that day’s purchase. More importantly though, I knew she’d really enjoy the trip and I wanted there to be something special just for her, so I didn’t mind going one bit. I just didn’t know how special it would be.

Before we left, Valerie had asked me if I thought she’d meet one of the Doan women while we were there. I told her that I thought it was possible, but not very probable. I figured that they probably didn’t hang out at the stores in person much, maybe just to check in, or for special events. She agreed, so expectations were low, but hey, you never know, right?

Well. We were barely two stores in when a very nice woman walking to her car stopped to say hello and welcome us to Hamilton and MSQ. She asked Valerie if she was a quilter and chatted a little bit about the stores. It took me a moment, but my wife knew right away (as you surely do, too, reading this) that she was talking to none other than Jenny Doan herself! Valerie got a hug and a picture with Jenny, and an awesome start to her trip. Now, my wife is a very level headed person, and certainly the more mature of the two of us (although younger in years, I should add) so to see her a little bit star struck was kind of a treat for me. I don’t mean that in a negative way at all, she certainly held her composure at the time, but I could tell that she was fan-girling out hard on the inside, and she was positively giddy all day. I thought that was adorable, and it made my day to see her so happy. So thanks, Mrs. Doan, for taking a few minutes out of your day to connect with a fan.

The rest of our time in Hamilton was spent looking through stores while Valerie made mental notes of what she might want to purchase. Once the looking was done, she then had to go back to actually buy the stuff. So I decided at that point that I would play my expected role and go visit Man Land. Man Land is a space taking up the room of a small store that is made to look like a den, or Man Cave. There’s a fireplace, a large built in book case with vintage books, a few outdoor and car magazines, a pool table, some vending machines in back, and several recliners-the brown leather ones with the rivets that were all the rage in the 70’s and are shockingly still made today. Tessa and little brother Patterson decided to stay with me while sister Melody went with Mom to wrap things up.

We all found our recliners and sat down to watch the big screen TV in Man Land, which was tuned in to…not ESPN…or TCM…or even CNN or FOX NEWS…but THE HALLMARK CHANNEL. Hallmark Drama to be exact. Folks, we watched an episode of “The Waltons”, and late series “Waltons” too, after John Boy and Olivia left and Grandpa had passed, so it wasn’t even a quality episode. This one dealt with teenage Jim Bob’s crush on a slightly older, married woman, and the mess he made of all that. He introduced himself by tripping over a loose board on her porch. Heh. Classic Jim Bob.

Anyway, after the shopping was all done and Jim Bob learned his lesson, we ate lunch at a small café in town where the girls got some really good burgers and I had an average BLT. Then we were off to Kansas City!

Which I will talk about, and review the attractions we went to on the next edition of MonDAVEs. See you next week!