Safe Home

Over the past few weeks, we have been interacting more with our kids’ friends. There have been a few school functions and some birthday get togethers here at the house that have helped us get to know the kids our kids are hanging out with. Our kids are a bit of an eclectic group, and their friends even more so.

All of our children are teenagers now, so we are entering a season of new experiences as parents. Unlike some parents, we haven’t forgotten what the teenage years are like. You see, my wife is a teacher and therefore constantly around young people, and I have resisted adulthood as much as possible. Therefore I think we may be a little more in touch with the teenage experience than some other parents, many of whom seem to get old before their time. This is not a judgement, just an observation that may or my not be all in my head.

Anyway, these kids are all in the beginning stages of figuring out who they are, where they belong, and how they function in the world. We’ve met a lot of people lately, and been able to put faces to names from the stories our kids tell which is nice. We have met pretty much every category of kid you can imagine.

While we have met plenty of your average boy or girl next door types, there have been others too. We have met church kids, and non church kids, with multiple religions being represented (or not). We have met kids who are highly autistic and those who have other special needs. We’ve met popular kids, nerds, and misfits. We have met gay kids. We have met transgender kids. We’ve met kids of different ethnicities.

Here’s the thing though, none of these kids are categories. They are people. Each one is different, special, and in need of the same love and respect as everyone else. This is where we come in.

It’s a big world out there, and there are a lot of angry people in it. Some of these kids we’ve been introduced to will go out into it and be okay. Some won’t. The troubling fact is that many of these people will be targeted and discriminated against because of who they are. Not because of what they do or say, but because they exist in their own identity. Let’s get uncomfortable for a minute.

We all know racial discrimination is on the rise here in America and elsewhere. This is incredibly stupid and dangerous. No one asks to be born any particular color or race, you are as God made you. You are a combination of your parents. Not your fault. Also not your fault that others judge entire races based on stereotypes and incorrect assumptions, or the extreme acts of a few. This should not be allowed in any civilized society and it certainly will not be tolerated in our home.

There is also, somehow, still a bias against people on the autism spectrum. While we as a society have made great leaps in understanding autism and mental health as a whole, there are still those who would belittle others due to their differences. Special needs folks are marginalized, insulted, pushed aside and undervalued by many. Instead of lending a hand and discovering the greatness that lies in every human being, these people are written off or just plain ignored. Not by us.

How about LGBTQIA+ kids? Some of these kids have been aware of their sexuality from an early age. Some are just now beginning to come to grips with it. The same goes for transgender youth. Well, not only youth, but adults too. I know full grown adults who are still wrestling with their own identities well into middle age. I know gay and bisexual adults who have never come out to their parents for fear of how they will react and what it will do to the family unit, not to mention their own social standing. If this is all so difficult for adults, imagine what kids must be going through.

Much is made of the suicide rates among LGBTQIA+ teens. It is estimated that these kids are more than four times more likely to attempt suicide as their peers, and the numbers are higher among youths of color. I hope we can all realize and agree that these young people aren’t thinking of suicide because they are gay/bi/trans/asexual/whatever. It’s because of how stigmatized they are, and the hatred, bigotry, slander, and abuse they are met with on a regular basis-not only from strangers, but from the people who are supposed to protect them in their schools and communities and often, sadly, from the families they love.

Being a teen is hard enough, and a lot of these kids have the potential to live a much harder life than their peers. They don’t need fixing. They don’t need to be shown their place. They need to be treated with respect and shown kindness. They deserve an environment that encourages them to be comfortable with who they are, even if they’re not sure who they are. We have encouraged our kids to be the kind of people who provide that quality to their friends, and have assured them all that we will provide the same in our own house.

We have intentionally built a home of love. Certainly we have house rules, and a strong sense of right and wrong, but everything we do in this home is based upon love. First and foremost, we love in this family.

We are called to “love others as we love ourselves” (Leviticus 19:18). “Faith, Hope and Love: But the greatest of these is love.”-1st Corinthians 13:13.

Did he just drop some bible verses after talking about being supportive of gay and trans kids, and people of other faiths, and those who are different than us? And did it make sense?

Yes and yes.

I don’t get into matters of faith much here on the blog, and I don’t have time to break this all down for you here in this context, but here’s the takeaway. I am a Christian, though not a conservative one. There’s actually a lot of us, most people just don’t know because we’re not as loud as some of our sisters and brothers on the other side. Look, guys, we can bicker and argue amongst ourselves over what the Bible says vs. what it means all day long, but when it comes to how we treat others, there shouldn’t be an argument. Jesus himself said that people “will know you are my disciples if you have love for one another”(John 13:35). That doesn’t mean just us, it means everybody.

Also, stop using the Good Book as a weapon y’all. It’s supposed to heal not harm.

Alright, I’ll get off my high horse. The point is, I will not turn away my kid, or anyone else’s who needs a safe, supportive environment. If one of the friends has had a fight with their parents, or just needs to get away for a little bit and maybe get a snack and a fist bump they are welcome here. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not out to judge these kids or their parents. I won’t keep a kid out of their home (unless there is real danger) and I’m not putting anybody up long term. I will make sure their parents know their kid is at a friend’s house and the parents are home. I don’t want to cause any trouble, legal or otherwise.

Still, I have told my children and they are to let their friends know that this is a safe place. Their friends are welcome here. Only one rule: You don’t judge the way I keep house, and I won’t judge the way you live your life. In other words, don’t judge my mess and I won’t judge yours.

You know, maybe if we all started thinking that way and living it out, we might just make this world a better place. Think about it.

Thanks for sticking with me during all that, faithful readers. I’ll come back to the random silliness next time. Until then, have a great week and meet me back here for more MonDAVEs.

Fun Fact: In All Her Years My Wife Has Never Had An Ice Cream Headache. Anyway…

Summer is almost upon us. Well, not really, I know, but Memorial Day weekend is the unofficial start of Summer in the U.S. and that’s good enough for me. Since we are only a few days away from kicking off the season I believe it’s time to discuss the plan for this year.

Summer is my favorite season, With as much as I go on about Christmas on this blog, you’d be forgiven for thinking I was a Winter guy, but nope. Not even close. I love Christmas but Winter is just depressing. So Summer it is.

While I enjoy most Summers, it does seem that some years are better than others. In fact, some have been taken away from me in recent years. We are all just now beginning to get back to some semblance of normal after COVID (which is not really going away, but it has lost its emergency status, so that’s something). A few years back I lost most of my Summer to a bad shoulder injury. Every year I long to have a Summer like those that I was so fond of in my younger days. Obviously being an adult limits anyone’s Summer fun, what with work, financial and other responsibilities having to take top priority. Still, I believe that if I am intentional with the way I approach my Summer, I can get close.

This Summer I plan to make the most of the season in the following ways:

-I will go walking more. I have mentioned the many park and nature trails available to me in my own town and the surrounding areas. It’s not the mountains, but for landlocked suburbia, the trails ain’t half bad. As much as I enjoy going out for long walks, I have slowed down a little bit, and I didn’t keep it up all Summer last year. There’s really no reason for that, so this year I will make it a point to try and walk all the trails available to me.

-I will cook out more. It’s just about time to break out the pellet grill again. I enjoy cooking this way, and there are a few more recipes I am wanting to try. I’m getting exited and hungry just thinking about it!

-More family fun days! What many outsiders don’t know about St. Louis is the number of free attractions we have in this city. Our zoo, for example, is consistently voted one of the top zoos in America, and it is absolutely free to get in. The much renowned St. Louis Art Museum, Science Center, and the Missouri History Museum are all free as well. Other attractions like the Botanical Gardens and Gateway Arch museums have nominal, affordable fees. Then there’s Laumeier Sculpture Park, Cahokia Mounds, neighborhoods like the Delmar Loop and Main Street St. Charles, and dozens more. We haven’t been to many of these places in the last few years so I think it might be time to get back out into the city and show some love for our hometown.

-Speaking of hometown love, SPORTSBALL! St. Louis is a big sports town, and while my interest in most sports is passing, or “fair weather” perhaps, it is fun to attend a game in person. Earlier this year my son’s school band played the National Anthem at a St. Louis Cardinal’s Game. This was back in April and it wound up being an abnormally cold day so we were freezing but we still had fun. We talked about maybe going back on a nicer day when we could enjoy the weather more, so that may be in the cards, no pun intended. I would also like to take in a St. Lois CITY soccer Club game if I could swing it and it’s not too expensive.

-Like Sheryl Crow, I’m gonna soak up the sun. A family vacation is coming, though some particulars are still being worked out. We try to do a mix of chill days and fun days wherever we go, but this one has the potential for more relaxing moments than adventurous ones. More on that later.

-This Summer I am going to try to just be. I want to try to enjoy the moments more. I want to take in the smells of fresh cut grass and smoke from the barbecue. I want to linger in the morning sounds of songbirds and the crickets at night. I want to listen to the Summer rain as it hits the roof and the concrete while I feel the breeze as I sit on my porch. I want to take in more sunsets and catch more lightning bugs. Let’s face it, there are only so many hours in the day, and the bulk of Summer is gone in just 14 weeks. When you factor in work and other commitments, that’s not much time. So this year I am really going to try to take it all in.

There are other things to do too. Visiting the pool, going to concerts, going out for ice cream, slushies, and snow cones, what have you. Whether I check off everything on my list or not, I am preparing for a wonderful Summer. I wish the same for you, wherever you may be and whatever your plans.

See you next week.

Mayhead 4 Life!

It’s a fun one this week, kids. I have just finished streaming the new series “Muppets Mayhem” on Disney+. In the words of the one and only Dr. Teeth, I can sum it up in two words: “Well, alright!”

For anyone who may be unfamiliar with the premise, the series focuses on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, who of course, served as the house band for “The Muppet Show,” and have provided much musical merriment throughout many a Muppet movie and television shows. Our favorite sweet but scruffy rockers have spent years touring the country and picking up a solid fan base along the way. Yet they never made an album.

Enter our heroine, Nora, who works for an about to be defunct record label to whom the Mayhem owes an album from an old forgotten contract. She attempts to corral the band into making said album, and that special blend of Muppet heartwarming hilarity ensues.

Seriously, this is really good. The writing here is top-notch. There are multiple references to past Muppet productions (without using any regular characters except the band) and some of the funniest scenes the Muppets have done in years. The cameos from both musicians and actors both add to the humor while delighting and also surprising the viewer. There is also a fair amount of pulling at the heart strings, which does threaten to take over at times but is balanced fairly well by musical scenes and silly ideas. It is earnest, honest, hip, and self-aware, which is just as a modern Muppet production should be.

The only complaint I have is that at ten episodes, the series runs a little bit long. Some episodes drag a little bit, and some parts of the band’s backstory work better than others. While the overarching story is fairly predictable, it works well and there are enough surprises and joyful moments along the way to make the journey worth taking, even when the road gets a little rough and the ride seems to take a bit too long.

Still, this is a minor complaint.

So what else? The soundtrack is a lot of fun, both with the new songs written for this project and The Mayhem’s covers of classic tunes. You don’t have to be a total music freak to enjoy this series, but there are enough cool references thrown in that many of us geeks will get. Also, the cameos range from classic stars from the ’70s and ’80s up through today’s hit makers and media personalities.

Quite simply, this is easily the best Muppet production for at least the last ten years. While it may not grab the attention of young kids, pre teens through adults should all find something to like.

Okay, so I like to do spoiler free reviews, so I need to stop before I go spoiling up a storm. If you are a fan of music biopics or documentaries, watch this series. If you have ever been a fan of the Muppets, watch this series. The high points are many, and it is well worth your time. Also The Mayhem’s record is officially out on streaming and vinyl. You know you want it. So go get it.

I’ll be rocking out with the Mayhem all week, and I’ll see you all back here next week for more MonDaves.

This post was brought to you by the letter “M”.

Daddy/Daughter Movie Review: Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol.3

Well, opening weekend has come and gone, but just in case you didn’t get yourself out to the theater, here’s the official MonDAVEs Daddy/daughter movie review of Marvel’s “Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol.3”, featuring guest reviewer/blogger Tessa to provide us with the teenage perspective. There may be a mild spoiler or two, maybe not. I don’t know. I’m not editing this either way. You get what you get.

Say hi to the people, Tess.

Tessa: Hi!

Well done. Okay, you’re up.

T: Overall, I liked this movie. I’ve heard people say this was the best movie since Endgame, and I think calling it the best since Endgame is a bold claim, but I do think it’s one of the best. Phase 4 and Phase 5 (so far) are wild because each movie is very hit or miss. Movies like No Way Home and Shang Chi were amazing, and movies like Eternals and Thor: Love and Thunder kind of missed their mark. I think this was one of the good ones, which makes me happy. It would’ve been sad to see a franchise like Guardians get ruined with it’s third movie. I loved seeing the group together again, and the soundtrack was amazing as always. I think Rocket’s backstory was very heartbreaking and well done, and the pacing was pretty well done in my opinion.

But I do think bringing Gamora back was unnecessary. She didn’t really do anything, I thought she would regain her memories or fall for Peter all over again, but then she just didn’t and it felt weird. I know her arc came to a close by her finding a family within the Ravagers, which is cool and all since she’d always wanted a family and to belong and be loved, but I feel like the payoff isn’t as effective when it isn’t our Gamora that’s getting the family. Why should we as the viewer care about a new Gamora who doesn’t feel even close to the old one? I feel like there was a missed opportunity to expand on her character and actually let us care about the new Gamora. I understand that the movie was already really long and if there was any development on her it was probably cut for time, but I wish we got to see it. I also understand that any problems I have with the plot can’t always be taken up with the movie writers themselves because most plot points come from the comics, which is another thing to keep in mind. The High Evolutionary I think was also a missed opportunity to elaborate upon, I kind of just had to figure things out about him and use my context clues instead of actually being told who he is and what he does.

But I still really enjoyed it, since those are my only complaints. The CGI was really good, you could see all the emotion on the faces of Rocket and his buddies, which is impressive considering they’re all just computer generated images. I think the ending was really well done, and I got all sentimental during the credits when they showed different pictures from all the Guardians movies. I would definitely watch this movie again!

D: Interesting perspective on Gamora. I think it was necessary to bring her back so we could finish the story between her and Peter, also it was useful to the overall story so that Peter’s character could move on.

T: It was already done though. Like I feel like Peter and Gamora’s arc could’ve ended when she died, and Guardians 3 could’ve focused on him moving on without her.

D: Fair enough, but I think people would be mad if she wasn’t in the movie at all. A solo Gamora movie with the Ravagers might be cool though.

T: Real. How about you review the film now.

D: ‘Kay.

I didn’t love it.

Didn’t hate it either, but I didn’t love it. I wanted to love it but just didn’t. It just seemed to be missing something for me. The thing about the last two Guardians movies is that they were a blast to watch. The humor flowed freely and honestly, mixing in well with the action sequences, and the emotional tug-at-your-heartstrings moments were highly effective. This one just didn’t work as well. The humor seemed to be almost an afterthought. It just felt a little forced. Don’t get me wrong, there were some good lines and some truly funny moments, but not anywhere near the level of the last two,

While GOTG3 was definitely action packed, there seemed to be a lot more camera trickery during some of the scenes that kind of took me out of the action, in that I noticed the film making more than the film itself. It wasn’t like Matrix level, but I got that vibe a little bit. I just never got totally swept up in the moment like I have with the past offerings.

As far as emotions goes, this movie swings for the fences and very nearly achieves its lofty goals. Rocket’s backstory is full of heartwarming and heart wrenching moments, but the rest of the movie mostly falls flat. Again, there were scenes that should have led me through the full gamut of emotions but, meh.

Also, this is a really dark movie, both visually in places, and otherwise. That didn’t bother me too much, I like dark. I think though, that the reason this movie is so unbalanced is because there is so much screen time given to the darkness that it wasn’t really possible to balance it out properly. I mean, you need the dark so the light will show (as Bob Ross would say) but the mix was a little bit off.

As far as the story goes, it’s pretty much all just “We gotta save Rocket!” with little subplot in my opinion. What subplots exist are not really given enough time to develop and made some major characters like The High Evolutionary and Adam Warlock less effective than they could have been.

Okay, just so I’m not dogging it too much, there were lots of things I did like. The cast is awesome as usual, and as Tessa said the CGI is just wonderful. Even though I felt it uneven overall there were enough cool ideas to keep my interest. The standard theme of family in the Guardians movie is once again well explored, with new and old characters adding different levels to the mix. The soundtrack is pretty cool too, I was pleasantly surprised by a few selections!

Concerning the fate of the Guardians themselves, I think the movie provides a fitting conclusion to most character arcs, even if they were not what one would expect. Before the movie premiered there were a lot of rumors flying around about which major character would die. While I won’t go into spoilers here, I would have gone in a slightly different way and kind of felt cheated in a way with the direction the filmmakers chose. But Howard the Duck does have a cameo and that’s really why I turned out, so all is good.

T: A lot of the complaints you had I also noticed, but I guess they didn’t affect me as much. I agree that some new characters were very underdeveloped, and it would have been better if there was a bigger subplot than just saving Rocket. I feel like those weren’t big enough things to make me dislike this movie, but I can see why they could change your opinion on it.

D: I didn’t dislike it, I was, let’s say unfulfilled. Maybe the failure doesn’t lie with the movie so much as my expectations though. I don’t know. I will definitely watch it again, and maybe now that I have seen it once and know what to expect I will be able to focus on different things. Sometimes repeated viewings make you understand movies a little better, and the original cynicism fades away. Hoping that happens here because I want to like it way more than I do.

Okay, rating time. Scale of one to five, five being the highest, what do you think?

T: I give it a four out of five.

D: Reluctantly I give it a three, though the four rating you gave is probably more fair and accurate. Cue the haters!

Thanks for chiming in Tess, and thanks for reading this everybody else.

MonDAVEs will return.

Do You Believe?

Conspiracy theories used to be fun. Remember that?

Remember when people would read the articles in rags, er, magazines like The National Enquirer and Weekly World News while standing in line at the supermarket, and laugh about them? Used to be you’d know maybe a few people that read those things regularly, like maybe your Grandma that didn’t get out much, or your weird Uncle Fred, but that would be about it. Maybe you worked with a guy who was all in on one particular theory, but he seemed harmless enough, just a little out there, so you didn’t worry about it.

Now seems like every third or fourth person you meet is spouting some new nonsense like it’s universal, indisputable truth. Not in a fun, silly way either, these people are serious about it all. So serious in fact that they are willing to lose friends and sometimes even family members over their new dark web gospel. It’s insane.

But it wasn’t always thus. I remember a time when you could talk about the conspiracy of the day (aliens among us, Elvis is alive, they saved Kennedy’s brain, what have you) with other people, whether they believed in it or not, and still be friends the next day. You could have a drink and laugh it off if things got heated.

I miss those days. We were being able to chuckle at somebody’s crazy theories and respectfully disagree with no harm done. Now it’s a shouting match and possibly fisticuffs, or worse. What’s a fun loving guy or gal who likes a silly conversation and a bit of a wind-up to do? Can we still have fun with conspiracy theories? Can we find a few that won’t get half the populace all riled up? Can we pause to appreciate the fact that I just used the word “fisticuffs”?

I think there are a few that would still fit the bill. Let’s talk about them here. Some have been around for a while, some are new. I’ll let you decide which side you come down on with each. Just remember, this is all in fun.

William Shakespeare didn’t write all his plays.

This one has been around forever. It’s a fun one because apart from a few literary/theater geeks and maybe Shakespeare’s remaining relatives, nobody’s going to get mad about this one. Besides, everyone involved has been dead for a really long time, so who are you going to offend?

Theory #1 states that many of ol’ Wil’s plays were written, or co-written, by a guy named Frances Bacon. Which of course makes them the ever popular duo of Shake and Bake. This theory is a popular one, so much so that it inspired the name of a food product in the late 20th century. Pretty sure.

Theory #2 is a little more recent. This theory speculates that Shakespeare was even more of a thief than previously imagined. Apparently other playwrights would present Shake with their scripts asking for constructive criticism or approval. Shakespeare would read the plays and invariably tell the ambitious author that the play “sucked hard” which I believe was a popular expression at the time. The other playwright would destroy the play and go back to square one while William would take their idea and rearrange it so he could pass it off as his own.

Either way you go, this is an interesting thought exercise and some good, mostly harmless, literary fun. This is also a good theory to bust out at a party where there are smart people around and you want to look like you belong in the room.
Bigfoot exists.

People are really into this one y’all, and have been as long as I can remember. Bigfoot hunters are no joke. Even some scientists have weighed in on this one. This is a fun theory, because it actually does have a small amount of believability to it. Forests are big, and it isn’t completely out of touch to think that maybe there are some species we haven’t discovered yet. Turning that species into a man-monster hybrid just lends a cool, cheesy sci-fi/horror movie vibe to it that is irresistible to some folks.

While I’m not about to sign on for this one, I am all for the Bigfoot truthers out there keeping on with their search. It gives them something to do with their free time. I just hope they never find him. Not because it wouldn’t be cool, but because then they’d have nothing to do. Then what? They may start turning to more dangerous ideas. Better to keep ’em busy with Bigfoot.

By the way, you can replace the forests with the cosmos and Bigfoot with aliens, and this whole section still works.
The Moon landing was faked.

I love this one.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I really don’t care if the Moon landing was real or not. I just enjoy watching people get so worked up over an idea that is so patently ridiculous. The fun part though, is that the people who get so dramatically upset are the people trying to disprove the theory that the landing was faked. It’s a classic role reversal and it fascinates me.

You can see this in person pretty easily. Next time someone mentions the moon landing (which happens more often than you’d think) just roll your eyes and say “yeah, allegedly” and watch ’em go. That’s what I do. I never make any real arguments, I just kind of shrug and say “ehh, maybe” or “well I mean, we went to the moon eventually…just not that first time” and then I see if I can count how many veins pop out of their forehead. Then they get upset by the fact that I am so nonchalant about the whole thing and that I am not as wound up as they are!

Okay, so it’s probably not very nice to purposefully wind people up like that, but it is funny.
Birds aren’t real.

This is the newest conspiracy theory I’ll be looking at here. It is also by far the weirdest, and possibly my favorite. I stumbled upon this one a few years ago and was just completely enraptured by it. I have no idea if the people behind this are serious or not, but it’s gold either way.

Okay, so the long and short of it is that birds are not what we think they are, hence the idea that they are not real. Well, they used to be real, many years ago. However (there’s always a however) over time the government got involved because of course they did, and replaced all the birds with drones so they could spy on citizens.

Real talk. This is clearly a joke, but it’s a good one. The “birds aren’t real” folks sell merchandise and have literature you can spread around to be in on the joke as well. Thousands of people are.

It was started as a satire of modern conspiracy theories and how nuts it’s all gotten. Yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if there aren’t a handful of people out there spouting off about the “Deep State” and God knows what else, who are falling for this one hook, line, and sinker. Let’s not tell ’em.

All right, everybody, that’s about as far down the rabbit hole I’m willing to go with this topic. Hope you had some fun with this one, and nobody got upset. It’s just me being a little uppity and having a laugh. I’ll be back soon with more stuff.