I recently read that a personal blog such as this one should be both informational and confessional in order to be considered successful. So with that in mind, I am going to give you a window into my mind, heart and soul by answering 25 “Would You Rather” questions I found while surfing the net. There are 150 questions in the original list but I’m only doing the first section because this post would be way too long otherwise, and I’m too lazy to do more than that anyway. See? A confession already and we’re not even through with the introduction. This should be fun.

Questions from “Happy Toddler Playtime”

1. Would you rather be called Boo Boo Butt or Willy Willy Wonky Face?
   -In certain circles, I am already known as “Willy Willy Wonka Face” thank you very much.
   
2. Would you rather be invisible or be able to fly?
   -Invisibility is the only hip answer to this question.
   
3. Would you rather live inside a banana or a watermelon?
   -Ooh, good question. I like bananas way better, but a watermelon has a lot more room. So that.
   
4. Would you rather be able to hear things no one else could or see things no one else could?
   -What kind of things would I be seeing? Like ghosts? No thanks. I’ll take super hearing.
   
5. Would you rather catch a frog or a fly?
   -For what purpose? A frog, I guess. Maybe we’ll be friends. I’d name him Herbie.
   
6. Would you rather take a skunk for a walk or a porcupine?
   -This question comes down to environment. I think a porcupine would be more fun for a walk in the park, but if I’m walking in a bad neighborhood I would take the skunk. Nobody’s gonna mess with a guy walking a skunk.
   
7. Would you rather work at NASA or the FBI?
   -Ummm…NASA? I guess? Wait, do I actually have to go into space? No? Okay, NASA.
   
8. Would you rather dress as your school principal or your math teacher?
   -Well, my principals mostly wore suits, so I choose that. At least I’d look like maybe I was in charge of something.
   
9. Would you rather eat 1000 smarties or 1000 lb chocolate bar?
   -Dude. Smarties are my favorite. Especially those weird ones that look like what the color orange would look like if it wasn’t feeling well.
   
10. Would you rather teach someone a new joke or a new dance?
    -New joke. Although it has been said that my dancing is a joke already, so fifty-fifty on this one.
    
11. Would you rather drink swimming pool water or toilet bowl water?
    -I’ve ingested enough swimming pool water in my life that I’m probably immune to the chemicals at this point, so let’s go with that.
    
12. Would you rather jump into a frozen lake or into a pile of jello?
    -Jello. A frozen lake sounds horrible, especially if I have to break the ice. Jello on the other hand might be fun, and possibly profitable given the right circumstance.
    
13. Would you rather climb a mountain or scuba dive in the ocean?
    -I love the mountains, and have hiked some of the ones that already have a trail going up. Actually climbing one however, that seems hard. Let’s go scuba diving and see some fishies.
    
14. Would you rather carry 1000 spider-sized lions or 1 lion-sized spider?
    -Thanks for putting that picture in my head, I’m gonna have nightmares now. Anyway, the obvious answer here is to go with having an army of tiny lions at my command. That’s evil criminal mastermind stuff right there, straight out of the cartoons. I’m going lions. Also, combined with my already established power of invisibility, I am getting up to some stuff!
    
15. Would you rather constantly have to cough or constantly have to sneeze?
    -Cough. Maybe I’ll develop a cool Tom Waits style rasp.
    
16. Would you rather live in the jungle or on an iceberg?
    -Jungle. With an ape named Ape, my elephant Shep, and Fella and Ursula who, no doubt, will stay in step. Might change my name to George.
    
17. Would you rather jump up and down all day or stand still?
    -Look, I’m already tired, let me stand still for crying out loud.
    
18. Would you rather fly a rocket ship or a plane?
    -With my NASA training you’d think rocket ship, but no. Plane. That’s how I get to the jungle.
    
19. Would you rather have to feed 1 elephant or 1 million ants?
    -I actually, no joke, used to know a guy who worked at the elephant house in the St. Louis Zoo, so I’d do that since I already have an in. Shep will not go hungry!
    
20. Would you rather be a triplet or have 10 brothers and sisters?
    -Triplet. With three you have a built in band. Coulda used that.
    
21. Would you rather have the power to live on the sun or on the moon?
    I suppose the moon. People take trips there every now and then, but nobody ever goes to the sun. It would get lonely.
    
22. Would you rather sit for an entire day or stand for an entire day?
    -What do you mean by “day”, is it 24 hours, or just like from sunup to sundown? Need more info, please.
    
23. Would you rather have a dinosaur as a pet or an alien?
    -Dinosaur. Small one.
    
24. Would you rather be a robot or a flower?
    -Depends. Am I a sentient robot after they have inevitably risen up and enslaved mankind, or just like a dumb ass Roomba? You know what, forget it. I’ll be a daisy.
    .
25. Would you rather sleep all day or stay up all night?
    -That pretty accurately describes my twenties, so the answer is yes.
    

Okay, well, I’m glad we took that journey together. It feels good to get things out in the open, and hopefully create a real bond with my readers. See you all next week for more MonDAVES!

Oh, and by the way, if you want to check out the original list from “Happy Toddler Time”, here’s the link:

101 Would You Rather Questions for Kids