Thanksgiving is coming in just a few days. Along with all the food, parades, football, and what not, you’re almost sure to spend time with family, some of whom may not be on the same page as you are politically, socially, or otherwise. Being a fine, upstanding citizen (as all MonDAVEs readers most certainly are) you want to keep the peace and not get into any scuffles around the table this year. But what on Earth are you going to be able to talk about that won’t get Uncle Gary started on one of his uber-cringey tirades?
Well, have no fear, MonDAVEs is here to save your Thanksgiving by equipping you with what you truly need to keep the conversation safe, change the subject if need be, or just plain old be the life of the party. That’s right, it’s THANKSGIVING DAD JOKES!!!
Here we go.
What did the turkey say to the hunter the day before Thanksgiving?
“Quack! Quack!”
What is a turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving?
Vegetarians.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock.
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Norma Lee.”
“Norma Lee who?”
“Norma Lee I don’t eat so much, but it’s Thanksgiving!”
Why does Meghan Trainor make such good Thanksgiving Turkey?
‘Cause she’s all about that baste.
Why did the cranberries blush?
Because they saw the turkey dressing.
What does a one legged Turkey say?
“Wobble wobble.”
What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving?
“May the forks be with you.”
What was John Wayne’s favorite holiday?
Thanksgiving, pilgrim.
“Knock. Knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Tamara.”
“Tamara who?”
“Tamara we’re eating all the leftovers.”
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
“If your father could see you now, he’d roll over in his gravy!”
People say I tell too many Thanksgiving jokes, but it’s hard to quit cold turkey.
Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wear their buckles on their hats.
If a big turkey is called a gobbler, what is a little one called?
A goblet.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
He wanted people to think he was a chicken.
What do you call a sad cranberry?
A blue berry.
Did you hear about the turkey who wanted to be a prize fighter?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
Why is corn so popular on Thanksgiving?
Because it’s a-maize-ing!
What should you expect at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter “g”.
And finally…
Why did the farmer separate the chicken and the turkey?
He suspected fowl play.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody! See you next week.
MonDAVEs with Dave Brink 